No Hands But Ours: Family Stories

Lucas

2011-02-20T17:25:00.000-08:00

by Lyn, mom to Lucas from China with an SN of repaired VSD

I was not one of those people who longed to adopt a child my whole life. My husband Bob and I had two biological girls and thought our family was complete. Adoption had never occurred to us until December 2005. That Christmas, God stirred our hearts, and a few months later we began the adoption process which eventually led us to Addie Jialin, a precious toddler we found through America World Adoption Association's waiting child program. Through Addie's adoption and the countless testimonies we have heard through the online adoption community since then - we have discovered that when we are involved in something which is close to God's heart, like adopting orphans, we get to experience the blessings of hearing from God and watching miracles take place. The entire adoption journey was a pivotal time in the life of our family as we got the privilege of watching God work and then got to welcome Addie into our family in May 2008. We were sure it was a wonderful, life-changing, one-time thing.

We were wrong.

As I continued to read adoption blogs after coming home with Addie, I was touched by families who welcomed not one or two orphans into their home, but four or five or six - and not just cute, healthy infants, but preteens and teenagers. They told story after story of the blessings of being obedient to what they felt God had called them to do.

In spite of the fact that our feisty little toddler had rocked my world, I finally told God that I was willing to adopt again if that was His will for our family. I reminded Him though that He would have to remove some obstacles that were keeping us from qualifying again for adopting from China. The obstacles seemed pretty huge, but we had seen Him perform miracles to enable us to bring Addie home. I acknowledged that nothing is impossible for Him. Less than two weeks after first praying that prayer, it became clear that the obstacles that had kept us from considering adopting again were gone. Somehow, in spite of the poor economy, we met all of the requirements to adopt from China once again. My husband, who had always been more open than I was to the idea of another adoption, agreed that God was calling us to go back to China. So, in October 2009, we applied to adopt a little girl between the ages of 4 and 7. We wanted to get an older child this time, since many couples were in line to adopt infants and toddlers, but only a small percentage of families were open to adopting children older than 3.

But then, a couple of months after beginning our second round of adoption paperwork , God surprised us. Instead of a little girl, God made it clear that He had a boy for us! In December 2009 we received an email from America World listing nine children who were available for adoption. The second child listed was a 6 year old girl with a corrected condition. She was adorable and exactly the age we were interested in. I needed to wait until my husband came home from Bible study before I requested her information, but I felt sure that he would would be interested in her. As I waited for Bob to return home, I realized that the last child listed, a 4 1/2 year old boy with a corrected heart condition, was wearing an orange shirt with "BOB" - my husband's name - on it! We had been praying that God would clearly show us which child He had picked out for us by causing something in the referral to jump out at us.

When Bob got home I showed him the email. We laughed about the Bob shirt, but then talked about the little girl and decided to email AWAA about getting her referral. Awhile later, Bob looked more closely at the boy in the BOB shirt and started laughing. He said, "Look at his hand! He's saying, 'goofball'!" Bob and the girls get very silly together at times. When they do, Bob calls them goofballs. One time, instead of saying it out loud to them, he looked at me, showed me the sign language "G", and mouthed "goofball". Since then, they all use that "G" as a way of telling each other they are silly. It's a strange ritual. In this picture, the little boy was pointing at the camera, but it looked just like he was making a "G". His shirt said "BOB" on it and he seemed to be looking at us and calling us goofballs, just like one of the family! A little too coincidental - just the kind of thing I was hoping would jump out at us on a sweet little girl's referral.

After talking about him a little longer, we finally decided that we would check with our social worker to see if it would be OK for a 3 year old girl and a 4 year old boy to share a room, since we didn't have a separate room to give him. In the meantime, I prayed that God would make it really clear if we should continue to look into getting information on the girl, or if we should ask for the little boy's referral instead. I had a hard time going to sleep that night, wondering if God was really going to give us a boy. Addie's room was decorated in deep red, with Chinese prints and characters. It could easily be a boy's room as well. We had already picked out a girl's name, but I had told my husband a few days earlier that it just wasn't sounding right to me any more. Was this because we were going to get a boy instead?! By the time I finally went to sleep, I was pretty convinced that God had chosen this little boy for us. My nicely ordered little world was going to be rocked once again.

When I got up the next morning, I checked the email. Our agency had sent us the referral information for the 6 year old girl. I looked through it, searching for something to show me that maybe my gut feeling from the night before was wrong. When I didn't see anything, I called America World and asked them the question about Addie sharing a room with a boy. Then I asked them if they'd be willing to tell me this particular little boy's birthday. I really wanted God to be clear. If we were going to get a boy, I wanted to make sure that it was God's idea and not just my imagination, so I prayed that God would use his birthday to make it clear that we should review his information. Addie's birthday is the day before our daughter Megan's birthday. If this boy's birthday was close to June 2nd - our daughter Robin's birthday - I would know for sure. Our coordinator said she'd get back with me in a few minutes. A little while later, I got an email from AWAA saying that although we should talk with our social worker also, it looked like a 3 year old girl and a 4 year old boy could share a room. Then she gave me his birthday: May 30th - 3 days before Robin's birthday. I asked to switch to his referral.

We accepted the referral for Lang Gang Hai on December 9th, 2009. After several crazy paperwork delays, we finally traveled to Guangdong, China where we met our son, who we named Lucas, on December 6th, 2010.

Unlike Addie's Gotcha Day, the day we met Lucas was pretty much a worst-case scenario. Lucas was terrified and wanted only to return to the orphanage with the workers who brought him to us. We left the Civil Affairs building with him kicking and screaming for someone to come and rescue him. It was a hard day, but God reminded us through scripture and emails from friends that He knew what He was doing and that Lucas was the child for us. Miraculously, we returned to the Civil Affairs Office the very next day with a happy little boy who was quite content to stay with his new family.

We have had Lucas for 2 months now. The transformation from that terrified little boy to the exuberant, affectionate little boy we now call "son" is nothing short of miraculous. He is smart, funny, and charming. He loves to go places and meet people and try new things. He never walks anywhere; he always runs, yelling “Come on Addie!” over his shoulder. He wholeheartedly participates in whatever he’s doing – whether playing, drawing, fighting with Addie, or riding a tricycle. He bounces with enthusiasm when he’s excited and screams with just as much fervor when he’s mad. The surgery he had when he was a year old to repair his ventricular septal defect was successful and he is a completely healthy 5 year old boy with no restrictions.

Although Lucas is doing very well, it's been quite an adjustment to add a five-year-old boy to the family! We have spent the last 2 months working with Lucas on issues like how to take turns with his sisters, how to share, how to eat without smacking, slurping and yelling at the table, how to use words to express frustration rather than temper tantrums, and how to obey. Our days have been filled with training, correcting, and redirecting, and at times it's been exhausting. But Lucas is learning quickly. He already understands most of what we say and is speaking English amazingly well. He is learning what it means to be loved unconditionally as part of a family and what it means to think of the needs of others instead of just fighting for what he wants.

And we are learning what it means to have a son. We are finding out that it is every bit as wonderful as being the parents of daughters, which is proof that when we are willing to trust God - even when He asks us to do something that is outside of our plan - He often changes our desires to match His.

Feel free to visit our family blog here.

Pei

2011-02-07T06:51:00.000-08:00

By Nicole, mom to Pei from China with a SN of microtia and facial palsy

Journeys of Faith Often Have Limited Sight

We were a family of four before we traveled to Russia in July of 2008 to meet a little girl who needed a family. We had no information about this child prior to travel so this was a true journey of faith for us. I had prayed that God would make this easy and give me the signs that we needed. After meeting this tiny baby with a sketchy medical report, we left the hospital where she was housed. When asked what we thought of this child my husband said "when can we take her home". My husband was the logical one, the designated red flag seeker. Well, I said there is my sign and we brought that beautiful child home. Today, Ava is one of the greatest loves of my life.

We once again felt drawn to adopt.We began researching China's special needs program. This process is a bit different. You are sent children's files with special needs that you have preselected. So we did a great deal of research and sent our list of needs that would be a great fit in our family. We found this process a bit more difficult. There are so many children waiting for families. So, I prayed that God would once again carry the burden and send us a sign about what to do.

We watched a sermon one Sunday morning on-line. The words of that sermon continued to ring in my ears all day long.

"Journeys of Faith Have Times of Limited Sight"

So, when we returned from the grocery store that evening and saw that our adoption agency had called and I knew that meant only one thing. So, I threw down the groceries and ran to the computer. They had sent us the medical file of a beautiful little girl not yet two years old. When I saw her face my heart literally skipped a beat.

Her special needs where not on our list. In fact, we had never even heard of microtia with facial palsy. But once again those words from the sermon replayed in my mind. So we researched all aspects of microtia but did not find much info about the facial palsy. I was a bit concerned if this affected her chewing or talking. With each special need I think it is important to ask if you are prepared for the worst case scenario. A wonderful family stepped forward and shared their experience with this exact need and within hours we submitted our LOI for this beautiful child.

We knew that God had sent his message loud and clear. This little girl was the child he had chosen for us and we were the family he had chosen for her.

We have been home now since August 2010 with our sweet girl, Pei. She is an amazing little girl with a forgiving little soul. We find Pei's special need so manageable. It has not affected our daily life one bit! And the facial palsy that I was worried about is nothing! It does not affect her speech or eating. You only notice the weakness when she smiles or laughs. In fact, I do not even notice it anymore. I have grown to love her little half smile that can just light up a room like no other! She is picking up the English language really fast and is developmentally above her age group in all areas!

I have to say I would totally adopt another sweet child with microtia in a heart beat! If I can help anyone who is considering a child with microtia you can find me here. I would be happy to answer any questions!

I have once again been blessed to be called momma by a little angel that is truly heaven sent. And blessed to have yet another great love in my life.

Rachel and Katherine

2010-12-02T07:10:00.000-08:00

by Joy, mother to Katherine and Rachel from China with SNs of limb differences

I am the mother of two daughters from China, both of whom were born with limb differences - specifically hand differences. As far as special needs go, my daughters’ diagnoses are no big deal and really don’t affect our lives much. I once read on another mom’s blog that “hands are over-rated”. We’ve learned that this is true!

Our older daughter, now 6 1/2, was not a “special needs” child. When we decided to adopt we had already been through the infertility merry-go-round and were just ready to have a baby. We had marked “yes” to some mild special needs but requested a healthy infant, as young as possible. When Katherine’s referral came our social worker told us her name and age (only 7 1/2 months!) and then cautioned that she had a special need. My husband and I were both special education teachers at the time and both of us immediately began thinking of serious medical issues - spina bifida! cerebral palsy! seizures! Our social worker explained that our baby had an extra finger (actually a “thumb”). We were weak with relief. An extra digit was an interesting quirk, not a true special need! And really, it wasn’t.

Katherine came home in November 2004. Our doctor here officially diagnosed her with polydactyl of the right hand. He told us that it was fairly common and tended to run in families. We have often wondered if someone in Katherine’s birth family also had extra fingers.

Six weeks after arriving home, Katherine had surgery to remove her extra “thumb”. It was an outpatient procedure and she went home the same day. She had to wear two different casts that covered her from fingers to over her elbow for six weeks but that didn’t slow her down in the least. She required no further treatment. Katherine has a scar on her right hand and that thumb is slightly smaller than the other, but you would never notice unless you knew to look. She is rather proud that she used to have 11 fingers.

When we decided to adopt again we told our agency that we were very interested in a child with special needs. Our experiences with Katherine’s hand issues had been no big deal and we felt we could handle a broader range of special needs. We knew that the whole adoption process has slowed dramatically and that made special needs even more appealing. However, our agency was small and received Waiting Child lists infrequently. So we waited. And waited.

When the special needs program in China was overhauled, our agency did not receive a Waiting Child list for a year and a half. I started looking at lists shared by other agencies. I quickly realized that I was drawn to children with limb differences. I inquired about a number of different kids, but none was still available. I followed other people’s travel blogs and studied the special needs children. I remember seeing one little boy with a missing hand and thinking “That would be an interesting special need.“ After three years we were discouraged and really tired of waiting. Our home study was due again, so we filled out another special needs checklist and told our social worker “We’re REALLY interested in a special needs child, especially one with limb differences.” A few weeks later she called us about Rachel and we immediately knew that this was our daughter.

Rachel’s referral described her has “missing her left palm and fingers.” She was beautiful! Her hand looked exactly like that of the little boy in the blog I’d seen months before. We settled in for the horrible 4 1/2 month wait until travel and spent a huge amount of time staring at Rachel’s pictures. We had photos of her hand, but no diagnosis and no real information about it. We didn’t really care. We knew she was ours and that she’d probably do lots of amazing things, even without a hand.

Rachel came home in September 2009 at the age of 21 months. As we had guessed, she did and continues to do everything that she wants with her “little” hand. It was important to me to have a diagnosis, a name for Rachel’s condition. Our doctor referred us to an orthopedic specialist who referred us to Shriner’s Hospital. At Shriner’s (a fabulous place, I might add) Rachel was diagnosed with symbrachydactyly. This is a rare birth defect caused by an unknown something interrupting the blood flow to the limb bud during the second month of fetal development. It is not genetic and is associated with no other abnormalities. In Rachel’s case her left forearm is shortened and she has a wrist and the heel of her palm. Her fingers are little nubbins. The doctor’s proclaimed her healthy and beautiful and assured us that “She’ll be fine just as she is.” And that is true.

Rachel will be 3 next month. She does everything any other almost 3 year old does. Everything! She dresses herself, including putting on her shoes and socks, rides a tricycle, cuts with scissors, zips up the climbing wall on the swingset, strings beads, and opens every jar, cupboard, and container she can get her hands on. Her problem solving skills are excellent. Someone once asked me what kind of adaptations we had made for Rachel. I replied that we had put locks on a lot more things than we ever had before! Rachel figures out on her own how to adapt tasks to her needs and we just follow her lead. She is fearless and persistent and determined to do everything. So we let her. I’m sure there will eventually be tasks that just can’t be mastered one-handed, but I’m not worried about it. After all, so you really need to knit or play the saxophone to have a full life?

Katherine once made the observation that “I had too many fingers and Rachel doesn’t have enough.” It all works out in the end. Hand difference really aren’t a big deal. My girls prove that. You can follow along on our everyday adventures here.

Lilah’s Turn

2010-09-24T16:50:00.000-07:00

by Anne and Mike, mom and dad to Lilah from China with a SN of limb difference

Lilah is our second adopted child from China. Her brother Luke was adopted in February 2007 and the word to best describe his adoption was probably shocking. We were under the impression that his disabilities were minimal, and we could not have been more wrong. He was in trouble. He was desperately malnourished, his “congenital turned in foot” was actually two clubbed feet, and over time we came to find out his delays were due to some unknown birth trauma that resulted in CP like symptoms and Apraxia (he is currently almost 4 and is just now learning to talk). You can see his story in the early annals of NHBO.

Why are we retelling Luke’s story on Lilah’s tale? So we can show the difference between the two adoptions. We were always equipped to deal with the disabilities, but struggled with the surprise. We entered Lilah’s adoption with intention of knowing what we were in for. We went through a new agency, WACAP, where we felt we would get a very clear understanding of her disabilities so we could have a plan upon her return. It was not our intention of adopting so close to Luke’s adoption, but while searching through WACAP in an information gathering effort…there she was!

It was absolute love at first sight. She had a fire in her eyes, and an air of mischief we swear you could see through one photograph. We can’t think of how to put into words how seeing a picture can trigger such feeling and knowing, but it was real, it was from the heart and the gut. To top it off, she was from the same Province as Luke, which only seemed to seal the deal.

Quick change of plans, we rushed to get our application in before anyone else tried to steal our daughter (because we knew she was immediately)! Thank God we had done this before, since it was a race against time. By the end of a few days, we were “expecting” once again.

Now as to her disabilities: We almost have to make ourselves write the word, because we’re not sure Lilah believes she has a disability. She was born with a genetic disorder (not amniotic banding as we thought) that resulted in her being born with no feet. We haven’t found a way to tell people this without getting shocked reaction, but there it is. Lilah spent her formative years essentially walking on her ankles. In addition to this her fingers were not fully developed on both hands, so she has very small fingers, which makes it hard for her to grip anything.

We met with pediatricians and orthopedists and prepared ourselves to be the parents of a little girl with physical handicaps.

Lilah disagrees. No feet. No problem. The magnificent people at her orphanage had fashioned shoes for her out of a rubber ball cut in half and sewed into a sock. With this contraption she was able to go outside and walk, run and dance without hurting her small “heels” on the hard surfaces outside the orphanage. There will be a special place in Heaven for the person who came up with this idea. As a result, she had uninhibited ability to go outside and play like every other child in the orphanage.

Where Luke came quietly into our home, Lilah came in like a Hurricane! She’s high energy, boisterous, and terribly funny. She’s got a naughty streak, which she quickly taught to her quiet big brother. She challenges Luke and has been a God-send in helping him be more outgoing, playful and take more risks. And she’s smart. Good Lord is she smart! She just turned 3 and we had to let her start school because she needs more and more stimulation.

To address her needs, we took Lilah to the wonderful people at Atlanta Orthopedics and Prosthetics. Like us, for them, it was love at first sight. They quickly designed her prosthetics, which she loves and calls her "shoes". She took to them immediately and has been unstoppable. She also has become sort of an ambassador for Atlanta Orthopedics. The staff has her meet patients who are new to prosthetics or who are having a harder time adjusting to show them what is possible.

What is possible? Everything. She takes ballet. She rides her bike. She has trouble with stairs and jumping due to her lack of ankle joints, and can’t hold onto large items due to her small fingers. Those are her limits… for now. We know she will probably think of a way to overcome these too.

To see more of Lilah, and visit the rest of the family, visit the family blog here.

Sara

2010-04-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

by Tricia, mom to Sara from China with an SN of congenital heart defect (VSD)

My husband and I had a strong desire to grow our family via adoption and we were soon drawn to China's program and the idea of adding a daughter to our family. We signed up with CCAI in 2007 and got in the NSN line in November that same year. The following year was when I first became aware of the charitable organization, Love Without Boundaries, and before I knew it I was volunteering for them in late 2008. The adoption community is an amazing on-line community and it didn't take long to find the resources and personal stories of families who had adopted special needs children from China. As I continued my volunteer work with LWB, it became very clear to my husband and me that we both felt drawn to switch to China's SN program and bring home a child that had a medical need we felt we could handle. For example, there was such a large and growing number of orphaned children within China with congenital heart disease (CHD). And, without the benefit of adoption or funding for surgery through volunteer organizations, their precious lives would be cut short. We live in Pittsburgh and quickly discovered that we had access to an amazing group of pediatric cardiology doctors and surgeons. My husband and I began to realize that we could really make "the" difference in the life of a child born in China with CHD.

In late 2009 we were blessed to receive a referral for our beautiful daughter (soon to be named Sara AnYe). I've attached her referral picture because I couldn't stop looking at it.... her amazing eyes just grabbed my heart. She was so tiny, which is not uncommon for children born with CHD. Sara had a large, unrepaired VSD. We had her file reviewed by several specialists and of course everyone had a different opinion. In fact, one doctor seemed set on giving us a bleak outlook based on what she saw on paper. I found myself getting very defensive towards her comments and fighting for this little girl.... after those moments it became clear to me that I knew in my heart this was my daughter. Sara has some additional issues within her file that seemed relevant to the medical world such as being very small physically and having a head size way below the growth charts. Plus all the doctors felt she was older than reported which made her physical size more of a concern. I remember that moment with my husband when we realized we could ask questions forever but not really know the answers until we brought this little girl home. So, as with every adoption story, it came down to that leap of faith. We're so thankful that we said - yes, we can help this little girl... let's bring her home.

After we had accepted Sara's referral, but before traveling to China, we were informed that Sara had recently received open heart surgery and that the surgery was a success. This was literally all the information we received on the subject of this last-minute surgery. But at this point, it didn't matter. We remained focused on getting to our daughter as soon as possible. We traveled to China in January 2010 and were united with her on January 11th. It was an unforgettable day. In fact, our entire trip in China was a wonderful opportunity to have one-on-one time with our daughter. Fast forward to today, and Sara feels like she's been part of our family for so long now. But, she's actually been home with us for only 3 months. During that time she has become very comfortable with our family and her brothers. She is a brave, active, beautiful little girl that likes to dance and we feel so blessed to have this opportunity to be her parents.

Her VSD surgery in China was performed very well and she currently has no restrictions. We continue to work on the attachment process and do our best to make her feel secure (especially at night when she has trouble sleeping). She's been through so much in her young life - including an open-heart surgery on her own. She still shows her fears around doctors (this is a big fear of her's) and when strangers get too close... but we look forward to giving her continued love, security and time to help her confidence grow. We love, love, love China's special needs kids and we know that each child that is waiting in China deserves everything we are providing for our Sara.

Gabe

2010-03-28T12:40:00.000-07:00

by Jess, mom to Gabe Xulu from China with congenital glaucoma

While Tim and I were paper-chasing we knew from the get go that we would be adopting SN, so even before we submitted our dossier we filled out our SN checklist. Our agency didn't want us to submit it though until we submitted our dossier. We had checked all the minor needs and maybe one of the moderate needs. We put in our original home study that we would love to bring another daughter into our family, 1 - 3 yrs. And so we paper chased...

Then something happened, God laid on my heart that our son was in China. After doing some research we found that there were huge numbers of boys waiting for homes and that there were very few families who wanted to adopt boys. DH and I talked and after a few days we both agreed to tell our SW that either gender would be wonderful and raised our age to 4 yrs. Then shortly before we were due to submit our dossier our agency held an event in which they invited families that had already adopted SN children with various SN and from various countries. We went and had a wonderful time talking to families about their children. What a true picture of families with needs that we thought would be too much for us. We looked at each other and said. "wow". So many needs that we thought we knew, but really didn’t. We could do this. That night changed our lives as we added vision impairments and hepatitis B to our list.

The day I got the call for our son, I was at school and had to wait until 3pm until my husband could get to school and we opened the email together. We took one look at his big beautiful eyes and we knew that this was our son! He was almost 3 and had congenital glaucoma of both eyes. His report was conflicting, but we knew that no matter what his vision, he was ours. With God's help we knew we were safe in this step of faith. We gave our preliminary yes and then waited for our pediatrician and ophthalmologist to tell us what they thought of his file. They both thought he looked good, but our ophthalmologist saw the same things we did - they referred to him seeing, but also said things like, “but due to his blindness”. So, we went into this knowing that he could be blind.

At 8 months he had had a trabeculectomy to relive his glaucoma (drained the fluid in his eyes which causes the pressure), but he went 8 months with the damage being done. I began research, talked with our ISD professionals and prayed for our son while we waited to bring him home.

On September 14th, 2009 we hugged our son for the first time and watched as he played with the cars we gave him-he could see them!! He had to hold them very close, but he could see! Today our Gabe wears glasses for his near-sightedness and myopia.

We go to the pediatric ophthalmologist 2 times per year and one of those visits is a pressure check under anesthesia. Right now his pressure is normal and we pray that it stays that way for years to come. It amazes me that this need is not one that we think about daily or even weekly. Each morning we put on his glasses and that is all. Occasionally we have to get his glasses adjusted and clean them daily, but most days I think, “What special need?”

I praise God that he opened our hearts and minds to vision impairments otherwise we would not have our rough and tumble, awesome son with the biggest beautiful eyes that completely warm your heart! We have been home for a little over 6 months. Gabe knows his colors, has learned English amazingly well, loves to play in his coupe car outside and he has the best "squeezer hug". He will wrap his arms around you and hug with all his might and tells me "I lub you sooooooo mucha!"

Feel free to visit our family blog here.

Braxton

2010-03-15T09:53:00.001-07:00

by Tamera, mom to Braxton from China with an SN of limb difference

Yesterday we awoke before the crack of dawn. This was a big day indeed. Braxton and I were headed to Shriners Hospital to receive his first prosthetic leg. It was merely 5:00am when we headed out and yet Braxton was wide eyed and quiet in the still of the early morning hour. As we drove the now familiar highway, he periodically asked questions revealing his mixture of emotions varying from excitement to uncertainty and disbelief to daring to dream. After four and a half years of tackling the world so differently from most of his peers, Braxton found himself on the brink of new opportunities and countless possibilities. A prosthetic leg. Wow, it has been a long journey to get here. I have dreamed of this day since we first saw Braxton’s captivating, orphaned face in a picture on a waiting child list in March of 2008. And now nearly two years later, his dream… our dream… is being realized.

While we were driving, I too, had many emotions and questions running through my mind. Fear, uncertainty, excitement, anticipation, joy. Questions like - Would he be able to walk? Would he cooperate? Would he like the prosthetic or be overcome by this ensuing fear that is so normal? Will he reject it or embrace it? I decided to take all of these thoughts and emotions captive and bring my every fear to the Lord. He is so faithful and He met me right there in our car on that highway and gave me a confident peace - a peace that I knew that no matter what today’s obstacles entailed, He would see us through.

When we arrived at the hospital, the sun was coming over the horizon and the morning felt promising. I decided to jump in with both feet and believe that we would see some miracles today. Braxton and Bryce joined me and the excitement was building. We made our way up to that little room on the second floor with big mirrors, parallel bars for learning to walk, and a history of previous children learning to put one foot in front of another. As soon as Mr. Dan from prosthetics walked in the door, Braxton pressed “Do you have my prosthetic? Can I try it? Is it ready, cuz I am!” Mr. Dan looked shocked at Braxton’s readiness since during our visit two weeks prior Braxton had many tears mixed with whining and complaining as he was so fearful of the whole experience. With no delay, Mr. Dan brought out and presented the new prosthetic leg fully armored with the Disney character Lightning McQueen and a lever for bending the working knee. Braxton squealed with delight and asked to put it on. Within no time, we were learning the many little maneuvers required in order to put on the prosthesis.

Then the big moment. Like a little warrior girded up for battle, Braxton stood timidly for the first time on two shoes. Next, Mr. Dan picked him up and took him to the parallel bars. These bars are significant for me as I am the mama of a competitive gymnast who propels his athletic body with great strength and technique around these types of bars. Now my youngest son at the age of 4 ½ gripped these bars for the first time and would inspire and awe me with equally amazing athletic potential - he would take his first steps.

Better than anything I had ever dreamed was the feeling that I experienced when I saw Braxton grab those bars and bravely take his first steps. Sweet, miraculous victory – God is so good!

Braxton has a long road ahead of him as he learns to walk and maybe even one day run. As he learns, he will fall. When he falls, Bryan and I will continue to urge him to get back up, dust himself off, and try again as we cheer him on. It will continue to be a journey with obstacles and road blocks, free-ways and toll booths, highways and speed bumps, setbacks and victories… but isn’t that how we all get through this journey called life? I am confident that our Great BIG God will continue to help us show Braxton how to maneuver through this new course of his journey.

Yesterday our son not only took his first steps in learning to walk; he also took huge strides in learning to believe, to hope, and to dream! Don’t you love a good story of victory and overcoming the impossible? Me too! But, we vow never to forget that there is a price that was paid before the victory could occur (sound like any other story you may have heard). There was an amputation, a second surgery for wound control, and more surgery to come. There was loss, pain, grief, fear, phantom pains, a spica cast, a stinky stump, stitches and more stitches. There were many miles and hours in the car where Braxton watched the Disney movie Cars at least 237 times as Tamera listened to inspiring speakers like James Cecy, John Piper and John MacArthur on CD for hours on end while traveling in the dark of the early morning. There were many hours waiting, many professionals planning, superb surgeons’ gentle hands and notable expertise, several tears and tantrums, multiple tubs of PlayDoh and several dozen stickers. There were many prayers whispered and several cries out to the Lord. Many words of encouragement from friends and family and much patience splashed with tolerance from Braxton’s siblings were also in the mix. A leg was amputated and now a new form of mobility is possible. We are blessed to parent little Braxton as his life is a constant reminder to us that all there is always a price for freedom and there is always a sacrifice in victory.

We have learned that Braxton’s physical disability does not define him. Limbs are truly overrated. What defines him is that he is our son - a significant and vital part of Team Wong. What defines him is that he is a courageous little boy who trusts his GREAT BIG GOD and in Him alone there is sweet, miraculous victory.

Joseph

2010-03-05T05:39:00.000-08:00

by Angie, mom to Joseph from China with an SN cleft lip and palate

The word the Lord has used over and over to speak to our hearts is treasure. When He spoke to our hearts for the first time in Sept. 2003 about adoption He reminded us of our three treasures. We have three older daughters, who at that time were middle to late teens. We could not imagine ever giving up one of our treasures. But that is what we learned was happening to many little girls in China. He gave us this promise, “And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness – secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel the one who calls you by name.” – Isaiah 45:3

With a heart for the unwanted treasures we accepted this new call and journey and in July 2006 we went to China to bring home our first treasure, Lindsey. She was NSN but as we learned as others who have adopted that she had her own special needs many due to the particular place she had spent her first 11 months. Thankfully she was moved due to its closure to a new place for the 7 weeks prior to our arrival. We know many reasons why the Lord has placed this special little girl in our family.

During our 11.5 month wait for referral we began looking at the dedicated special needs lists. There we saw more treasures seemingly to us twice rejected as many little ones, very young with minor needs would sit on the lists never taken. We knew before we even went that first time we would be doing a SN adoption the next time. One year later with a 7-27-07 LID we began looking at the dedicated lists, that was all there was at that time. But now with the wait time increasing there were many looking at the SN lists. Our agency had a lottery type system. We put in requests in June 07, Sept 07, and January 08 but never were picked to see a file. There ranged anywhere from 25 to 125 families that had requested the same children we had. The shared list started and for four months we tried to be quick but again we never even reviewed a file. We began to realize these little girls we were looking at were definitely wanted!

Finally one day in May 2008 my husband said, “OK, so where is our kid?” I was the list watcher, so I told him if we wanted a boy we could have one. And it hit us these little boys were now the unwanted. There was a huge line for the NSN little girls, there were also plenty who wanted the little SN girls but the little boys? We felt the Lord ask will you add one. And we said YES! That same night while up and praying the Lord put the name Joseph on my husband’s heart. We found out the next morning that it meant “God adds”... what an awesome confirmation that was!

Our agency was going to start matching lists in about 3 weeks. So they asked all of the families interested to put together the necessary requirements. They were also going through a transition in leadership in the China program so for three nights in a row they had received files but had not put any up. They emailed to say that the young and minor need children had already been taken and locked but they would try to get the others up the following morning. I just knew in my heart that there were little boys on that list. Sure enough the first two were little boys 18 and 23 months with cleft lip and palate the 18 month old both the cleft lip and palate had been repaired, the 23 month old had not. I put in a request for both called my husband and he said whichever they give you tell them to lock it as we would have been matched with either if the new system had been up and running. I waited only 10 minutes but during that time I looked again at these little boys and I knew in my mind the 18 month old should be my choice but in my heart that little 23 month old tugged away. I prayed for the Lord’s will.

When our agency called they said the 18 month old is actually locked already but the 23 month old is still available!! I told her to lock his file for us. They also sent his file and I poured over all the information already wanting to gain insight into our little Joseph. It stated he liked playing with balls and cars and how true that turned out to be. When I reached the last page there was the hospital record stating his cleft lip and palate had been repaired in January 2008. I was so thankful for him that he did not have to wait.

We had submitted our LOI on May 16th and finally in October 2008 we brought home our second treasure, 28 month old Joseph.

On the one hand he is all boy. He loves sports, of any kind; at 2 he could already shoot a basketball. He loves cars, monster trucks, watches hockey with dad and NASCAR with one of his big sisters. On the other hand he is very sensitive and caring and loves to cuddle. He enjoys having me sit and read him book after book and even plays princess party with his sister Lindsey who is almost exactly one year older. They are building a great relationship as brother and sister and as friends.

All the doctors and our pediatric dentist have told us that the doctor who performed his cleft lip and palate surgery in China did an excellent job! No additional surgery is required! He will need orthodontics along the way.

We began again for a third time and the Lord gave us a new scripture. Matthew 6:20-21: “but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal” “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

The passion in our heart is stronger that ever. In Oct. 2009 we could submit a list with our agency. We put down all the things we were open to be matched with but in our hearts we did not think that was where our child would be. See once again we had a heart for the ones that for various reasons were passed over. We looked at quite a few files, lots of little boys and some little girls. Then on January 25th, 2010 a little girl came up on the list, paperwork had been done at 8 months of age but she was now 22 months old with a cleft lip and palate, left ear deformity and some hearing loss in that ear. This was our daughter! Our agency locked her file on the 26th and submitted our LOI on the 27th. Feb. 1st we got our PA and now wait for our LOA. I will have to wait to share her story later.

I encourage all of you reading this to go out in search of hidden treasure you will be amazed at what you will find!

Jadyn

2010-03-01T05:04:00.000-08:00

by Sue, mom to Jadyn from China with a SN of TGA, PS and VSD (major heart condition)

Our SN check list included mild and/or a correctable heart condition. 35 months after our log-in-date we received a phone call from our agency about a little girl who had recently turned 2 and had a VSD. They wanted to know if we would be interested in reviewing her file? By all means... YES we would. Less than five minutes later we were looking at pictures of an adorable little girl standing in a metal crib. I could just picture myself being her mommy.

We began to pour over her Chinese file, I read words I had no idea what they meant, she had more than a VSD, this I knew. My husband got on the phone and called two different pediatric cardiologists. We felt blessed that both offices agreed to review her medical file that day. We immediately e-mailed both offices her medical file, on a Friday afternoon!

Not one, but both doctors called us back that day. The first doctor explained her condition to us, and my husband was set, this was our daughter. I was more hesitant; I wanted to hear from the second doctor. Her condition was serious, I could not imagine falling in love with this baby and having her life cut short because of her heart condition.

The second doctor mimicked the exact same diagnosis and what was needed to repair her heart. Both Doctors told us that she would need open heart surgery, but that she would live an active, normal life. We accepted the referral of our daughter that evening, whom we have named Jadyn Qi.

My husband and I both would stay up late on the internet reading about her condition, this went on for weeks. We became somewhat of experts. I knew medical words and names of procedures, I had never heard of in my life time.

Jadyn has Transposition of the Great Arteries (TGA), Pulmonary Stenosis, and a very large VSD. The last two conditions actually saved her life, as TGA alone is fatal.

Nine weeks after accepting her referral, Jadyn was in our arms.

After many tests and a echo of her heart it was found that her VSD could not be closed due to the size, it was too large to patch. Her doctors decided that she would have the Glenn & Fontan procedure. Home from China only 2 weeks, Jadyn had open heart surgery.

Jadyn was in the hospital for only 72 hours after having open heart surgery. Her nurse had to talk me into taking her home... I just couldn’t believe she was ready to be discharged.

Our girl is a trooper. Just six weeks after surgery, her cardiologists told me "I’ll see her in six months." Six months? Are you kidding me? Jadyn is on a half a baby aspirin per day, no other medications or restrictions. Once she reaches 35 pounds she will have her final heart procedure, called Fontan.

She has been home now for six months and has blossomed more than we could have ever imagined. Jadyn has gained seven pounds and grown over 2”. She has learned to run, to climb stairs, She is fully potty trained, can count to 20 and knows well over 100 English words.

Jadyn gets winded when she runs or plays hard, this will be corrected with her next surgery. Before her Glenn procedure her oxygen saturation level was in the 70’s and even lower when she would cry, it is currently in the mid 80’s. She is projected to be within normal range of mid to high 90’s after her next surgery.

We love this little girl so much.

You can read about our journey to Jadyn here.

Please feel free to email me with any questions you may have regarding our experience adopting a special heart baby.

Chloe

2010-02-25T06:38:00.000-08:00

by Karin, mom to Chloe from China with a SN of a limb difference

Years ago, God very clearly led us to start down the adoption road for a little girl in China with a special need that was not considered 'adoptable'. At the time, CCAA had never allowed a child with this SN to be adopted. We had just returned home with our second daughter from China, and having four kids was sending us over the edge (haha). I had no desire for any more kids!!

But God....

There was no SN list back then and rarely were any pre-id adoptions allowed. However, we knew we were to try. We had a contact in China -- at the orphanage where 'our little girl', Chun, was living. She was trying to help from the China end. Over the next two years, God led us down many paths -- up high mountains, low valleys. There were moments of extreme awe and happiness as a roadblock was removed, only to be replaced with a long dark valley as another loomed in its place. We sought the Lord at every turn and were told to continue on.

We finished our dossier, only to find out that because of the quota placed on agencies that year, our agency no longer had a slot available. (A mix-up -- but nothing could be done.) So we had a dossier with no way to get it to China. And the clock was ticking on our paperwork, as you know.

For eight months it sat. In the meantime, CCAA started it's first SN list. Finally our agency found another agency with available slots and we were able to send our dossier through that agency. But let me tell you... it was a long eight months!!

Our new agency had a director who was -- well, less than honest. He kept telling me that our case was going to be presented to CCAA in person... that the person (QS), doing so was on his way to China at that very moment. I would wait on pins and needles for QS to return.... send emails... get no response... finally call and call and call. My insistence for an answer would finally grant me an opportunity to talk with the director -- only to be given the cryptic response... "No news this month."

URGH.

This went on for months. We could do nothing but wait and pray. All of our friends were praying with us for little Chun and that CCAA would relent and allow her to be adopted. Her paperwork was at CCAA.

During that time a personal friend of mine started some charity work in China. She miraculously -- amazingly -- was using QS to facilitate the beginnings of her work there. QS was part of a teeny, tiny, never heard of agency... the same agency that we were using!!! She asked QS about our case and he had never heard of us! (So much for him presenting our case numerous times to CCAA like the director had said.... grrrrr.....)

QS eventually presented our situation to CCAA and we were matched with Chun... I cannot begin to tell you the euphoria we felt when we were contacted with the news that we had been matched!! We were beside ourselves!! We were told that our file still had to be given approval by the director there, but that things looked pretty good.

A month later, we were contacted again with devastating news. QS had been told that the adoption would NOT be approved. CCAA would not approve a child with her special need for international adoption.

What?!?!?!?!

We were told that we would be getting a referral and that it would not be Chun. Well... I knew that I served a big God who could change hearts and I didn't want to give up on Chun. She needed a family. I had been praying for almost two years with a Mama's heart for that little girl. I couldn't give up on her now.

A few weeks later, our referral came. It was not for Chun.

We were devastated. I don't know what was worse... knowing that Chun wasn't coming home, or wondering if I had heard God wrong all those months. Could I really hear from Him? Why had He led us down this path? Had I only THOUGHT He wanted us to try to adopt her? How could we come to the end of a two-year road and not get her?

My heart was broken. What should we do about the sweet little girl we were referred? I wanted her. She was a beautiful 12 month old. She could fill the place in my heart that was so empty and grieving.

But...

While we had waited for Chun, God had given me a name. Chloe. That name was supposed to be for a little girl who was 'lame.' Don't want to make this sound too weird, but all the verses that He led me to were about 'the lame' so I knew she had a leg or foot problem. And one day in the fall of that year, I had been so burdened for 'Chloe' that I wondered if she had been born then??

The little girl we were referred was not lame. I wanted her anyway. What if CCAA got really mad at us for turning down a perfect referral? Would they just dump our dossier in the trash? We had already been waiting 2 years. Would we walk away empty-handed? How could God ask us to walk away from this precious baby girl?

Our agency was sympathetic, thankfully. Jeff and I prayed earnestly and felt that the little one we were referred was not our daughter. We had to check the box that said we were rejecting the referral. Ohhhhh.... so hard. I thought I would die. How could we reject her? With the rejection, we sent a letter saying that we thought she was beautiful and perfect but we had originally asked for a child with special needs and wondered if they would please allow us to wait for the next waiting child list to arrive at our agency so that we could chose a child from that list?

Thankfully... CCAA agreed to this weeks later.

Three weeks later, we received an email from our contact in China saying that a Christian family in China wanted to adopt Chun. Since they were Chinese, CCAA had willingly sent Chun's paperwork back so that the domestic adoption could take place. All of our prayers for Chun to have a Christian family were miraculously answered!!! And who would have thought that God would provide such a perfect family for Chun?!?!?!

It was with great relief that we felt released from advocating for her and could move forward with an adoption of a different child.

Our agency was small, as I said. Back then, waiting child lists were fairly small. What were the chances that our agency would get a list with a 'baby girl born in the fall, who was 'lame'?"

A few months later, I learned that SN lists had been sent to agencies. Of course... it was a holiday. New Years. Agencies were closed. The suspense was intense.

When the offices opened, I called. Our agency had gotten a list. There were six children on it. I so clearly remember asking, "Do you have a little girl with a foot or leg problem, born in the fall on the list?"

"Just a minute. Let me check," she said. LONG PAUSE while my heart thumped out of my chest. "Yes. We do! One little girl. She has some missing toes and a leg that is shorter than the other."

"When was she born?" I asked.

"Nov. 30th," she responded.

"Put her on hold for us! She is our daughter!" I said.

"Don't you want to see her picture?"

"NO!! I know she is ours!"

And she was! She was our Chloe.

For all those months, between losing Chun and finding Chloe, I struggled so much with, "What was that all about? Why did you lead us down those paths...seeming like you were leading us to Chun, and then at the last minute, jerked the rug out from under us? How could You be so cruel?"

His answer came in many different ways -- but the bottom few lines are this:

* We are very goal oriented. We think that the goal is the purpose, when actually it is sometimes the JOURNEY that is the purpose. The things we learn on the journey are the things He wants to teach us.

* We need to stay close to Him and listen carefully at all times... not assume that once on the path we know the destination. He is in the driver's seat and if He wants to change course, we need to be paying attention or we will head off in the wrong direction. So if we start in Florida, and He takes us on all the necessary roads to Ohio so that we think that is the destination, He might keep us on that highway until we get far enough north to turn toward New York. :)

I grieved deeply when we lost Chun and the little girl we were referred. Not only did I grieve the losses of both girls, but I grieved what I thought was my relationship with the Lord. It was humbling to say the least. Eventually, He showed me that I COULD hear from Him, but that I should not assume I knew the end -- nor doubt my ability to hear just because He changed the destination from what I had thought it would be.

To meet the rest of our family, visit us here.

Addie

2010-02-22T04:49:00.000-08:00

by Lyn, mom to Addie from China with an SN of psychomotor developmental delays

My husband Bob and I got married in 1995, and by 2001 had two beautiful daughters. We were content with our family and had no plans to have any more children. However, in December 2005, God showed us that He had other plans for us.

That December, we attended a play at our church that was put on by a group of orphans from the Ukraine. The purpose of the play was to draw attention to the plight of orphans and to try to find adoptive homes for some of the kids who were in the play. I enjoyed the play and felt led to give money to help these children find homes, but I did not feel led to pursue adoption in any way.

A few days after going to see the play, however, I attended a Christmas party with a gift exchange. I received a DVD that included an adoption extra which told the story of Christian singer and songwriter, Stephen Curtis Chapman, adopting Shoahannah from China. It was a story that Bob and I had both heard before at an adoption fund raiser that we had attended a few years before. This time however, I couldn’t get adoption off of my mind. I was specifically drawn towards the adoption of a little Chinese girl. I prayed that if adoption was God’s plan for us, that Bob would be willing to pray with me about it. A few nights later we discussed adoption together and Bob suggested we begin praying about whether it was something we should consider. God had used the play at our church to prepare his heart to consider adopting. This answer to my prayer was the first of many times that God specifically guided us toward adoption.

I started researching adoption and found out that although we met the adoption requirements for several countries, we didn’t meet the salary requirement to adopt from China. We realized that it would take a miracle from God to adopt from there. We knew God performed miracles, and He could make it work, but we also realized that Bob would probably need a different job. He enjoyed his job as Program Director for a Christian retreat center and summer camp, and he didn't want to leave it. We started praying for a miracle raise.

In January 2006, as we were waiting to see how God would provide a larger salary for us, we found out that some supplemental income that we had been receiving for several years would come to an end as of December 2006. We realized that without this extra money it would not only be impossible for us to adopt from China, but Bob would also need to find a different job in order for us to make ends meet. So, Bob gave notice in January 2006 that he would be leaving his job at the end of that year. Although we were discouraged about this, we soon felt sure that this was God’s way of providing a new job for us with a salary that was acceptable to China.

During this time when we were job hunting and unable to begin the adoption process, we received a phone call from some old friends of ours. They called to tell us that they would be giving us $5,000 towards the adoption! This was further confirmation that not only was God in this, but He was already funding the adoption – before it had even begun!

In the fall, to our surprise and delight, Bob was offered a new job at the retreat center where he worked, that – in combination with housing and benefits – met the salary requirement for China! The day the board met to approve the new job, we received $2500 in the mail from our friends. With this confirmation, we applied to adopt in September 2006 and began the long adoption process.

We turned in our paperwork on January 26, 2007, and China logged us into their system on February 12. We decided to name our daughter-to-be Addie. On March 1st we hosted a spaghetti dinner fund raiser for friends and family. We told our story – which was a wonderful reminder of all God had done to lead us to begin this journey to Addie. God provided over $7000 from the dinner! We were amazed.

Meanwhile, the process for receiving a healthy infant had begun slowing way down, and it began to look like we would maybe have to wait 2 years to get a referral call. In March we decided to sign up to be considered for a special needs child. I had been interested in this from the beginning, and after praying about it with me, Bob finally agreed.

In signing up for the special needs program, we said we would be willing to take a child with corrected special needs or minor correctable special needs, but we did not feel we were ready to deal with major issues like cerebral palsy, blindness, deafness, etc… We also said we were interested only in a girl from birth to 2 years old. Most of the 80 – 100 people who were on the special needs list had also signed up for the same things, and only a few kids in each group of referrals fit that description, so the chances of receiving a special needs referral quickly were pretty slim.

We started to pray that God would allow us to have Addie in 2007 even though we knew it would take a miracle, “For nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:37)

During this time God also continued to provide the finances for our adoption. I assumed that we would need to apply for an adoption grant, but by the time we were ready to travel to China, God had given us over $21,500 through donations from family and friends!

Our agency received a group of special needs referrals in October 2007, and we were hoping to receive a phone call. I was tempted to go back through the special needs application and change some of our answers to give us a better chance at receiving a referral. However, I realized that God had already picked out Addie for our family, and there was nothing that we could do to make our chances of receiving her any better. He would give her referral to us on the exact day that He had planned, and nothing could thwart His plans. I didn’t need to manipulate the situation to help Him get her to us! He is almighty and sovereign and self-sufficient. In Isaiah 46 God says, “My purpose will stand and I will do all that I please. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do.” When I went back to scripture and was reminded of what an all-powerful God we serve, I was peaceful again. We did not receive a phone call in October.

On December 6th we received an email saying that AWAA had received an unexpected group of special needs kids and that they would begin making phone calls the next day. After several days of hoping for a referral call, however, we got an email saying that they had made most of the phone calls. There were a five children left that did not fit into a specific category though, and they would email their information and pictures the next day. One was a 21 month old little girl described as being shy, quiet and introverted and having psychomotor delays. They also said that she had had a CT scan and some areas of her brain were expanded slightly. I had been hoping that I would know Addie as soon as I saw her. When I looked at this little girl though, there was nothing that made me think she was our daughter.

I had a 40 minute drive soon after seeing these referrals, and I used that time to pray for her and whether or not we should ask to be considered for her referral. As I was driving and praying, I started thinking about the type of family that would be good for a quiet little girl who could possibly be delayed her whole life. I realized that maybe our family would be good for her. We homeschool and she would have two older sisters and constant stimulation at home. I could work with her at her own pace and she wouldn't have to receive any negative educational labels. By the time I got home, I was convinced that we should ask to be considered for this little girl. Bob agreed with me, so I contacted our agency and asked to be put on the list with the others interested in her. We knew that if this was Addie, we would be chosen; if not, He would give her to us at the right time.

The next day we received the phone call we had been waiting for! The special needs team had decided that this little girl was a good match for our family! We prayed that if this was Addie, God would confirm it by giving us peace no matter what. After only a short time, Bob and I felt very sure that this was our daughter. After consulting with a doctor about her medical information, we accepted the referral. One interesting thing that we noticed about her after receiving more detailed information about her, was that her measurements were almost exactly the same as our daughter Megan, both at birth and at 16 ½ months! She was born on March 19, 2006, the day before Megan’s 5th birthday.

Finally, in May 2008, our entire family traveled to China together to get Addie. We found, to our surprise, that instead of the quiet, shy little girl we had been expecting, God had given us a beautiful, spunky two year old with a strong will, a wonderful sense of humor, and no signs of any delays. In fact, she was very bright!

God had one more surprise for us. The week that we returned home from China, we found out that Addie had been given to another family the year before on her first birthday. However, she was exhibiting so many delays that they took her to the hospital in China to have her examined. She was given a CT scan and the family was told that she had severe brain damage. They were told they could receive a different child. They had an older child with a severe heart condition and didn't feel that they could handle the unknowns of another special needs child. After an agonizing two hours, they gave Addie back. Their guide later told them that Addie would never speak in sentences and would need extreme care her entire life.

Did God heal her or did they get the wrong information? We don't know the answer to that, but here are some things we do know:

We serve a God who is powerful enough to heal a damaged brain, or even to cause a healthy baby to seem brain damaged when she isn't, in order for His purposes to be accomplished. We know that God has the right and the wisdom and the power to do all that He pleases, and that many times we don't understand the reasons for what He does. We know that He is trustworthy, and that He has a good plan.

Obviously God chose Addie for us before she was born, and He picked out another precious child for this family. We don't understand why they had to go through such a difficult situation, but we are thankful for the time they spent with Addie and how they have loved her and prayed for her since then. We are also very thankful that Addie shows no signs now of brain damage. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Addie has been home with us for close to two years now, and we can't imagine life without her! She is determined to grow bigger so that she can, "cook, drive the car, and be a mommy". She is sure that she could run the household if only I'd step aside and let her take over. We are now in the process of bringing home our son Lucas, who is 10 months older than Addie and living in Guangdong Province, China. We can't wait for our new adventure!

Feel free to visit our family blog here.

And our travel journal for Lucas here.

Kooper and Kinley

2010-02-16T00:50:00.000-08:00

by Connie, mom to Kinley (2) and Kooper (13) adopted from China at the same time

In August of 2003 when God instantly gripped the hearts of my husband and I for the orphan, we had no idea where He would lead us. We knew He was calling us to a task much larger than ourselves, but no doubt it was His call, so we jumped out of the boat head first, trusting Him to provide everything we would need.

Six and a half years later He has grown our family by five China-born children, in addition to our three biological children.

Our recent journey is the most miraculous for our family. In August 2008 we were earnestly seeking the Lord for direction in serving Him, when we once again recognized the tug at our hearts to add to our family through adoption. With $250 in our savings account, we started the new Hague process to bring home a ‘special needs toddler under the age of 24 months,’ just three months after arriving home with our 2 year old son.

We finished our paper work as quickly as the new process would allow, and our dossier finally went to China in April 2009. The Lord had begun to open our hearts to much greater medical needs than we had ever considered, and ultimately our ‘checklist’ grew quite large. Little did we know that on April 13th He would grip my heart for something we had never, ever considered: an older child near aging out, plus a toddler.

My husband committed to pray about it and let me know when the Lord had clearly spoken to him. I realized then that this journey is not at all about what I can do, but rather all He is able and willing to do through me. One week later we called our agency to ask if it was possible to do such a thing. I was excited and afraid to make the call because we had no idea what we were asking or if our request would be granted…and if granted, what then? We really had no stipulations other than, ‘you know that boy who is 13 and will soon age out, that would be our son.’

Fortunately, our agency had enough faith in us to make the request. The next morning we received the referral of our 13 year old son! We were so certain this was God’s plan that we didn’t even look at his picture. We reviewed his file, which was five years old, and told our agency he was our son, as long as we would still be allowed to adopt a toddler, whose referral we had yet to receive.

China agreed to allow us to adopt two children at the same time with the caveat that we submit both LOIs at the same time. Nine days later we received the referral of our daughter who would soon turn 2, and though we were approved for many needs, her only reported medical need was a repaired cleft lip.

During our six-month wait to travel for Kinley Grace and Kooper, we sent gifts to both children, especially Kooper, so he would know he had a family waiting on the other side of the world to bring him home. We devised a safety plan, researched the children’s needs and began to seek out other families who had adopted older children. Kooper’s information was sketchy at best, but we knew God would prepare us for whatever was ahead.

In October 2009 we were expecting our travel approval and still had one obstacle to overcome. The Lord had stretched our initial $250 as far is it would go, but our duo adoption costs were exceeding $50,000 and we still needed $21,000 with no further resources. We had completed every grant application we could get our hands on, held a huge garage sale, made and sold candles and adoption decals. We had cut the cable, eating out, new clothes and still were short. We began our first extended fast, seeking the Lord’s guidance on whether we should make our specific need known. We live in a very small town, supposedly our economy is in crisis and so many had already contributed to the ransom to bring our children home.

The most amazing thing happened! On October 6th we held a spaghetti dinner fundraiser. We planned for 300 people, and prayed that God would show up in a big way. The weather was cold and the attendance was lower than expected, but that didn’t faze God. At the end of the day, our pastor tallied the money, and we had $21,115!

On October 21st, we landed in Nanjing and were told we would meet our son the same day! This was the moment we had been waiting for, and suddenly this boy we knew very little about would be our son, forever! As it turns out, he didn’t know any English, and we used creative ways to communicate. We immediately bought a translator, but if we had it to do over again there would be no translator. It ended up being a device that caused a lot of confusion, miscommunication and finally an issue of control for Kooper.

Five days later we traveled to Hangzhou to receive Kinley Grace, and I remember thinking, ‘how can it get any better? Can we really be any more blessed?’

Kinley was less than happy to meet her new parents, and once she settled down she began a five-day shut-down. She didn’t talk and wouldn’t let me put her down except at bedtime where she slept next to me. Of the few pictures we had of her while in the orphanage she never smiled, and we wondered what deep secrets lay beneath her sad expression.

As the honeymoon wore off and we were two weeks into our three-week trip, our joy turned to doubt. For one day we began to fall prey to the lies of the Enemy. We actually wondered if our children would be better left in China. One of them refused to come out of her shell and the other we couldn’t communicate with. As we had done throughout this journey, we bowed our hearts to the Father who had planned long ago to set these children into our family, and we regained perspective and the strength to persevere.

We discovered that Kinley indeed has an unrepaired hard palate, and Kooper has an undisclosed medical need requiring surgery. Surprisingly, these aren’t the things that we feared as much as our own weakness and inability to complete the task before us.

We’ve been home three months and a lot has happened in that time. Kinley Grace has become a bubbly, energetic and social toddler. Kooper is learning how to become part of a family, and we are home schooling for the first time.

Initially, we put Kooper in public school for two hours of ESL each day, and in January we enrolled him full-time. However, by the end of the second week we noticed he was no longer interested in family activities and avoided sibling contact. We recognized that he was seeking the approval of his peers and disassociating with his family and immediately decided to take him out of school and educate him at home. This has completely changed our family dynamics, but we are learning to adjust to a structured schedule while allowing the flexibility for spontaneity.

Kooper has learned to depend on us and is gradually understanding we have his best interest at heart. In a few weeks of home school he has learned the alphabet, numbers to 100, recognizing three-letter words and subtraction, which he’s never done before. He’s also reading a book for the first time in his life. We don’t look back, and we don’t look too far ahead. We focus on the present and celebrate each small victory.

We’ve seen the gospel come to life as never before. Daily we draw strength from the Lord, and daily He grants the grace we need to extend to our son. There have been some very difficult days, but we realize that nothing we endure compares to the sacrifice He made for us. He loved us when we were unlovely and when we rejected Him. He is teaching us to do the same with our son.

Our decision to adopt has been from an eternal perspective, but from a practical point of view we realize that with Kooper’s lack of education and life skills, he would not have thrived, or possibly even survived, in China. This knowledge has burdened our hearts for older children. I would encourage any family whom the Lord has burdened for older children to follow in obedience and trust that He will provide ALL you need. He will place before you other families who have traveled the same journey, and they will be a treasure! We believe 2 Corinthians 3:5 ~ Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.

There are challenges, but the blessings outweigh them all!

We can’t even count the mountains God has moved to bring our five children home in the last six years. He has pruned our hearts, grown our faith and stretched us beyond imagination. We can’t wait to see what’s around the corner!

Feel free to visit the family's blog HERE.

Lilah

2010-02-10T05:19:00.000-08:00

by Paige, mom to Lilah from China with a SN of Tessier Cleft

In April 2007, while attending a ladies morning out program, an advocate from Compassion Canada came and spoke to us about international adoption. While sitting there, God spoke very clearly to me and told me "It is time".

I immediately went home and began researching international adoption and Christian Adoption Services. I very quickly was led to adoption in China and it instantly felt like the right place to be looking.

It took me five days to talk to my husband about what I was feeling, but when I did he was more open to it than I had expected him to be. (I had been praying for five days for God to open his heart to what I had to say). My prayers were answered. He took a few days of praying and thinking, and his heart was opened and he and I could be completely excited about this together!

I have always felt we would adopt at some point. It was something we talked about doing "someday" quite often. After having four kids, it felt like we should be done. God had other plans for our family... The moment he told me it was time, I felt ready in every way and knew there was an empty spot in my heart for this new little girl.

The wait time is almost unbearable... We were logged in the regular program September 25, 2007 and slowly the wait time grew and grew and it looked possible we wouldn't see our daughter until 2015! In May 2008, we switched to the waiting child program and we were instantly comfortable with our decision and all it would entail. We were told at that time that our wait would be about a year. In July, CCAA changed the way they did the waiting child program and we found out that suddenly we were at the "top of the list". Since then there have been a few bumps which were very hard to deal with, but we knew that we will see our daughter in God's perfect timing.

In January 2009, we finally got "the call"! When I saw her I wanted her to be the child I was waiting for, but was not sure how my husband would react. Her paperwork stated that she had a cleft lip and a right eye deformity. When we went over the paperwork together we felt completely overwhelmed and weren't sure if this type of medical condition was something we could handle.

God gave me a verse that day in my devotions. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. -- 1 Samuel 16:7. After talking to some family and close friends and just taking some time to think, we sat down with each other and told each other that this was the child God meant to join our family.

My husband is a Plastic Surgeon, and so we had asked for anything Plastic Surgery related. When he first looked at her picture he knew that is was more complicated than her paperwork indicated and that there would be many unanswered questions until we could get her home and seen by many different doctors. Lilah was born with Tessier 4, a unilateral craniofacial cleft that runs from her lip, up along her nose and into her tear duct. These clefts are numbered from 0 -14 to indicate the location and extent of the cleft. Tessier clefts involve not only the mouth and the nose, but also the rest of the face. It may involve a split in the bones and skin or a misshapen facial feature.

We went to Gaungzhou in May 2009 to get Lilah. She had been in the care of True Children's Home since she was three months old. She had surgery to repair her cleft lip when she was eight months old and was then placed into foster care (which was overseen by TCH). Lilah had just turned two years old. Her adjustment to our family has been amazing, but with a few bumps along the way! She is a very strong willed and smart little girl. She is doted on by her parents and her four older siblings!

There was a lot of issues that her paperwork never mentioned. She has a very misshapen head, but it has nothing to do with her cleft. She is iron deficient and has been put on supplements. Her cleft is not genetic and shouldn't be an issue when she decides to have children of her own. She is very small, but because everything is proportionate, the doctors are not worried about it. We weren't sure if her palate was affected, but it is not.

We are still waiting to see what and when her surgeries will be. But they will be big. She now wears glasses, as her right eye is very farsighted. The next step is to get a CT scan to see exactly what it looks like under the skin. The first surgery will be to build up the bone in her cheek, and at that time they will put in a tissue expander to stretch the skin, so that they can repair and make a new lower eyelid. At this point, I don't have a time frame for her surgeries, we are taking it one day at a time and one step at a time.

But I do have to say this... Lilah is amazing. She learned English within the first two months and speaks in full sentences and can carry on a conversation. Her speech is clear. She has great motor skills and tries to write letters and draw shapes. She runs and spins and dances. She is very affectionate and loves to be held and read to. She is now potty trained and she sleeps like no other child I have ever had! She does look different and the biggest adjustment has been how to deal with the stares from strangers. But, we have not had to deal with speech therapy, developmental or physical delays of any kind. She is a perfect, healthy, intelligent and beautiful little girl. What a gift!

Feel free to visit our family blog here!

our incredible boy

2010-01-29T05:44:00.000-08:00

by a mother of a boy adopted from China with a SN of ambiguous genitalia

I first fell in love with his photo. I saw it on a Waiting Child listing. When I read the paragraph of background information and saw the words “ambiguous genitalia,” I didn’t really know much about the condition. At the time, we weren’t planning on adopting, so I just casually read a little more on the topic. Two months later, we requested his file.

It contained very little information. We knew he was healthy. We could see from photos and read from the description that his genitalia was different from that of other boys. We started thinking about adoption.

I contacted several doctors, including a pediatric urologist and a pediatric endocrinologist. The endocrinologist filled in a lot of gaps, explaining several possible diagnoses that would have led to his condition. Both doctors told us that they would do further testing after our son arrived home. After we accepted his referral we received the results of a chromosome test that a previous prospective family had ordered. The test revealed XY chromosomes that matched the gender in which he was being raised. But our endocrinologist explained that a lot more goes into gender than chromosomes or organs. She explained how a person’s brain “feels” male or female based on in-utero exposure to hormones. We learned that we could not rely on his chromosome test or his internal/external organs to completely determine gender. Our doctors told us that they would work with us to make the best possible decision on his gender after he arrived home. (Based on what we learned, I now believe that pre-adoption testing for children with disorders of sexual development (DSD) is rather pointless. Sending countries do not have the resources to adequately test children and invasive procedures subject children to unnecessary trauma. Our son was definitely traumatized by endless blood draws—requested by earlier prospective families—that really told us nothing of consequence.)

During our wait, I worried a bit. What if we got “him” home only to be told that he should really be a “her?” What would we tell people? How would people treat him?

Worry was a waste of time. The moment we met him, we knew he was “all boy.” Further testing revealed that he was born without testicles; they’d “vanished” in-utero, giving him the brain of a boy. His small phallus will grow with hormone supplements and he should lead a relatively normal adult life. Best of all? He is an extremely happy, healthy child who loves life and his family.

I’m aware that many consider this a “mental health” condition, assuming that children with DSDs will grow up to be unhappy adults. Previous generations of adults with DSDs were raised in an era where children were often surgically altered at very young ages to force them to look like one gender or another. As professionals and parents understand the importance of waiting to make irreversible surgical decisions, the future looks different for those with DSDs. Professionals estimate that 1 in 1000-2000 births are affected by some type of DSD. It’s common.

The number of waiting children with “ambiguous genitalia” is astounding. They are healthy children who just happen to have a difference in one part of their body. I can’t imagine life without our beautiful son. If we adopt again, we will adopt a child with a DSD.

Support groups for families of children with DSDs:

Yahoo Group for Intersex Kids from China

Yahoo Group for AIS/DSD Parents

Consider reading:

Fixing Sex: Intersex, Medical Authority, and Lived Experience by Katrina Karkazis

DSD Guidelines, a project of the Consortium on Disorders of Sex Development.

Kara

2009-12-26T13:36:00.000-08:00

By Michelle, mom to Kara from China, adopted as an 'older child'

December 21st marked six-months since we first met Kara. I struggle to believe it has been six months. On one hand, it seems like she has been a part of our family for far longer than that, but on the other, it seems like such a short time ago that we were in China to bring her home.

Does anyone remember this lovely photo? I look at it and remember how we were dripping under those masks that we were required to wear due to China's fear of spreading the H1N1 virus, barely able to breath because the ones that we purchased had too many heavy layers of cotton gauze, not to mention we were wearing them in late June in southern China in a non air-conditioned building. It was the memories that took place after leaving this room that were the fond ones for us.

So much has changed since this picture was taken. I often get asked how everything is really going. I can honestly say, it is really going great! I am amazed every day at our daughter who lived 11 years in another country, in a vastly different culture, spoke a completely different language, communicated through complex characters and not our alphabet, ate different foods, lived in a very large city, etc. etc. Her ability to transition into her new world with such ease is beyond comprehension - and truly, EVERYTHING about her new world has been new. I know I will not be able to do this justice, but I am going to attempt to highlight our first six months together. This is probably going to be a long post, but I hope it highlights our journey for anyone who might be interested in older child adoption.

Kara knew no English prior to her adoption. And I really have no way to explain it, but communication just happens. We didn't speak the same language, but we were able to communicate through our own little form of charades, just enough so that we would each know what we wanted.

I am sure Kara was processing the changes in her life inwardly, but she was not showing any outward grief or aggression in any way. She seemed to fit into our family with ease, just with a few minor bumps in our first month together as a result of some jealousy and vying for mom and dad's attention among all three girls - but primarily Leila and Kara. Leila knew that she would be giving up her role as the oldest in the house, but how can one - especially an 8-year old - really comprehend and prepare for this? They can't. She became very jeolous and hurt by the amount of attention we had to give Kara early on and started acting out with her behavior. In fact, this started while we were still in China. Nothing too drastic, but a lot of negative attitudes and talking back. This lasted less than a month before Leila adjusted back to her sweet self and went back to becoming best buds with Kara.

I had worried about all of the possible "what ifs", such as violence and severe emotional outbursts, but our biggest difficulties with Kara early on were brief pouting episodes that primarily resulted from saying "no" to her - mostly to her requests to buy her something or to write her name in black sharpie all over her new belongings. These were brief and they were minor. None of the worst-case scenarios that I had envisioned in the months leading up to our adoption every came to fruition. Praise the Lord!!!

Our most heart-breaking moment in those first few days together came not from Kara, but from Leila, who had difficulty sleeping the first few nights home and would come into our room crying. Leila has NEVER had problems sleeping. She is our rock sleeper from the moment her head hits the pillow. I knew something really had to be bothering her, so I put myself in her shoes. Here Leila had just seen us travel to China to bring home Kara at age 11, after Kara had been living with a foster family for nearly five years. In Leila's eyes, if we could take Kara away from her family, what would stop someone from taking Leila away from us? It just broke my heart to think that Leila had been worrying about this for who knows how long. I sat her down and explained the difference between Kara's foster family and us, her forever family. From that moment on, Leila went back to sleeping peacefully. This is deeply personal and painful for Leila, but I share this in hopes that it might help another family have this conversation beforehand. I only wish I had.

As I've mentioned before, Kara felt uncomfortable with hugs and kisses our first few days together. Openly showing affection is not common in Chinese culture. Kara quickly became comfortable with receiving, as well as showing affection. It took Kara a month or two to become truly comfortable with Nolan, but he has proven time and time again what an AWESOME dad he is and I know that Kara realizes that now, too. Kara wouldn't even think of getting on the school bus or going to bed without a big hug, kiss and "I love you" - or lots of them. While other 11-year olds might think it is uncool to blow kisses to their mom, Kara waves frantically and blows kisses to me from the bus every single morning. And I love it, and by the look on her face, she does, too.
Our summer was filled with making many fun memories -many of which were firsts for Kara. I am so thankful that our travel dates to China allowed us some bonding time together as a family before Kara had to start school. Witnessing every one of Kara's "firsts" has been such a joy for all of us. The summer also gave us time to hire an ESL tutor to come to the house and help her at least three days/week. That was a huge help to prepare her for entering school.

Kara has adjusted to American food very well. She loves anything with meat or fish, so it's pretty easy to find something on the menu that she will like. She is not a fan of most breakfast foods, so I bake a lot of banana bread around here, which she likes. I do look at the school menu every day and if there is something I know she will not like (anything with American or cheddar cheese, brunch for lunch or lunch wraps), I will make a noodle dish for her to take. She only uses chopsticks when she eats noodles or Chinese food. Sometimes she even puts those down and grabs silverware.

Our decision to place Kara in the fifth grade was not one I took lightly. There were many nights of lost sleep over this decision. She is pretty small for her age and her emotional maturity tends to fluctuate greatly, depending on who she is with. After five months, it has proven to be the right choice. Kara's classmates have been supportive from day one, just as the school principal had predicted. Never once have I heard that any of her classmates have been unkind because she spoke another language or came from another country. (And there is VERY little diversity in our [public] school.) In fact, it was quite the opposite. Her first day at school left her feeling like a little rock star. She continues to teach the girls in her class Chinese characters and seems to fit in just fine.

Early on in the school year, homework was a nightly challenge. Not because Kara didn't want to study. On the contrary, she was a very willing student and would sit and do what was asked of her as long as it took - often taking up to two hours every night. (It was obvious she was painfully bored, but she did it without complaint.) As Kara's language gradually improved, so did the homework. It still, however, requires either my or Nolan's undivided attention, as she needs us to help read and explain the directions to her.

Kara had attended school through the fourth grade in China. It broke my heart when, on one of our first days together, I told her she was very smart. "Smart?", she asked our translator. "Nobody has ever called me smart before. I always talked in class and didn't pay attention to the teacher." It broke my heart that this bright, inquisitive 11-year old girl did not know how smart she truly was. She does admit to me now that she never learned pinyin in school because she was too busy talking. That may have been the case in China, but she has really been focused on her schoolwork and learning here in the U.S ... at least for now. Maybe things will change when her language skills improve, but I have high hopes for our little fifth grader!

Kara's math skills have improved greatly since the beginning of the school year. Addition, subtraction and multiplication came relatively easy for her, but I do not believe she had ever seen any fractions or any of the other math problems that fifth graders are charged with learning. And to be honest, I am learning again right along with her. I often joked with her teacher, "Yes, I have a bachelor's degree, yes I have a successful career, but NO, I am NOT smarter than a fifth grader!" Sadly, I wasn't really joking. :) Kara can now work on more of her math independently, but still requires our assistance with word problems and instructions.

She is a great reader in her native language. We go to the library and rent a stack of Chinese books and she often has them read before we reach our house. She writes her Chinese characters beautifully. As for English, she is reading at a kindergarten level and writing is a challenge, as she still has difficulty pronouncing many of the sounds that were foreign to her only six months ago, therefore the "sounding it out" strategy is more of a challenge for her than most non-ESL kids. e.g. "Red" is "renda." I have frequent communication with her primary literacy teacher and we are both impressed with her effort and her progress. She has worked very hard and does the best we can ask of her. Her teachers and her classmates adore her, as do we. Because she is graded on her progress and effort and not based on knowing many of the same things that her peers do except math, she earned a "meets" level on her first report card, and I am very happy with that.

The amount of English that she has learned in just six months is nothing short of amazing. There are many things she still does not understand and we cannot yet hold many complex conversations, but she impresses everyone she meets with her language skills. Not everything has a proper name, but we can understand. e.g. The other day she shouted from the shower to tell me, "Number two is over." I knew exactly what she meant: we were out of conditioner. She also has problems with pronouns. No matter how many times we have told her, men are always "Mrs./she/her"; never "Mr./him/his". I try not to correct everything she says. She is trying so hard and I know what she is trying to say. I often try to put myself in her shoes and I think I might still just know a few Chinese words by now. Probably the most frustrating thing for me, however, during the past six months is her constant questioning of "what is that?" and "why?", when I know she will not be able to understand the answers that I give her, but that is my problem with limited patience and not a problem of hers. She has many questions of God and Jesus, as she is active in Awana and Sunday School, but we do not yet have sufficient ability to explain it for her full understanding. Soon, though. Hopefully, very soon. (And she has a new Chinese bible. Hooray!!)

Kara loves music. LOVES music. She loves to sing, try to play any instrument she can get her hands on and dance. She used to put on dance performances at the orphanage, so I signed her up for Chinese dance class here. She seems to like it and she will put on her first performance during the Chinese New Year celebration next year. I can't wait to see her on stage! (Mia will be taking stage, too, with her younger class.) Kara also takes an advanced Chinese language class and serves as the teacher's helper since she is further along than the other students in the class.
Because Kara loves music so much, we signed her up for the band early in the school year. I spoke with the band director and explained our situation and she said she would give it a try. I was thankful Kara chose percussion, as I am able to help her with bells since there is much similarity to piano, which I took for 14 years. She is doing great and seems to love it, except for the heavy weight of carrying the bells to and from school. She sometimes complains that she wishes she would have chosen the flute, as it is small and light. :) Oh, and she has asked Santa for a guitar, too.

I thought Kara was doing well retaining her language, but just today we went to the Chinese grocery store and then to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. I was trying to get her to speak to the people working at both places, but she acted shy and would only say the basic, "hello, goodbye, thank you, and Merry Christmas!" I told her, I can say those things. Say something more. Later on, she told me she was forgetting some of her Chinese. She said she can read and write it just fine, but she is gradually forgetting how to say some words. She and her two friends from China (now adopted in the U.S.) Skype every 1-2 weeks and speak primarily in Mandarin and I have asked her dance instructor and Chinese language teacher to only speak to her in Chinese, but I will need to step up our efforts to help her retain her language, as that is very important to all of us.

She gets along great with her sisters. I love seeing their special sisterly bond - something I never knew growing up without sisters. Along the way, Kara has gradually changed her once dislike of dress-up and all things "girly girl" to that of much enjoyment, as shown by one of their latest fashion shows below.

As a I recently wrote to a friend... during the past six months, there may have been difficult moments within a day, but I can honestly say we haven't had any truly bad days. All days end with super big hugs, tons of kisses and lots of "I Love Yous". Although adopting Kara wasn't our plan, I am grateful that God led us to her. She is our daughter, no doubt. I don't know if we will ever adopt again. I thought we were done at two, and now we have three, so I don't know what God has planned for us. Adopting an older child isn't easy, but in so many ways it has been easier than I had expected. I had prepared for the worst, but prayed for the best. God has been faithful.

I am also grateful to her foster family. I still know little about them, but I believe that they provided her a loving home and showed her the best that they could what living in a loving family was like.

Since we have been working so much on fractions and percentages with Kara at school, I will close with this: Kara has spent 52% of her life thus far in an orphanage; 44% in foster care and just 4% with us. It will take a long time for us to gain the majority in this mathematical equation, but our small, growing percentage is made up of many magical, wonderful moments with our amazing daughter whom we love with 100% of our hearts.

Feel free to visit our family blog here.

Hope

2009-10-11T06:04:00.000-07:00

by Amy, mom to Hope from China with Amniotic Band Syndrome (ABS)

When we set out to adopt after having four biological children - we were looking to adopt a girl that was younger than our youngest son, who was 20 months at the time. Since we were already the parents of 4 young children -- we were looking at needs that were on the less severe side, because we wanted to make certain that we were able to give all of our children the time and attention that was deserved.

When my agency called and mentioned a just-turned two year old adorable girl that had limb differences of all four limbs -- I said that she probably was not the baby for us, since she was only 4 months older than our youngest. Time went on, and in a casual conversation my agency mentioned this little one again and asked if I knew anyone that might be interested in this darling girl. I asked her to read me a bit more about her -- so I had information to advocate. She mentioned a girl who was active, intelligent, curious and funny. She could be obstinate. She also said she liked to practice things over and over to get "bigger progress than her peers" -- in other words, she sounded JUST like my other kids. My heart jumped a bit while listening -- since I wasn't expecting to fall in love with her "description" of this baby... but yet I did! I asked if she could send me her file, and she asked if I was sure since once I looked at her adorable face she was pretty sure there was no going back!

We got her file the following day, October 13th, 2007, and my husband and I opened it together and honestly felt as if we had just given birth -- truly that same rush of feelings!! We were in love with her pictures:

In these pictures we did not see a child that had a disability -- we did not see a child that would be "out of order" with our other children -- we did not see anything but OUR child. She was born with Amniotic Band Syndrome. Some of her fingers were shorter than others, and she had "missing" or webbed toes. She also did not walk flat on one of her feet. Despite this she was said to run like the wind-climb stairs and "cleverly" use chopsticks!

We adopted Hope on March 31st 2008. We could only marvel at her cuteness and ENERGY!! Everyone in out travel group commented on her abilities! Most had ask what her need was since they did not notice. She was clearly loved at her SWI. When we visited we were stormed by her nannies. She was a star! She had better physical abilities than most of the "able bodied" children in our group. She has now been home 19 months. She is BRILLIANT -- no seriously -- she is! I am not just bragging (well maybe I am a little) but she is very smart. She is determined in all that she does -- almost to a fault! :-) She is so capable, is in dance and is starting gymnastics. She is so funny, and adorable.

She had surgery in October 2008 to separate fingers on her one hand and to do tendon lengthening for what we found out was a club foot due to ABS. She was in a cast for 8 weeks and did just fine -- in true Hope spirit she found a way to get around. She now wears a brace at night for that foot, but honestly, is more coordinated than her brother the same age! (Don't tell him that!) She is best buddies with all of her siblings and adores her new baby brother -- adopted this year from China -- also a limb difference baby!

We are so blessed and thankful that we thought "outside of our box" and adopted this beautiful child that was such an incredible fit for our family!!

Here she is today:

Feel free to contact me at: dinello04@comcast.net if you have any questions about ABS!

Follow our journey to Hope at www.babyjellybeans.com (password hope dinello)

Meah

2009-09-22T15:47:00.000-07:00

by Melinda, mom to Meah from China with hemifacial microsomia

When my husband and I were in the process of adopting again, we had looked at all the programs and chose to adopt minor special needs from Vietnam. We also thought we would adopt a 2 to 4 year old... little did we know. While waiting, I would always look at the waiting children, even the ones from the other countries.

In October of 2007, a new China waiting child list came out and I began looking at the list and saw this little girl that I could not quit thinking about. I just felt this instant connection. After 2-3 weeks, I showed my husband her picture and he also felt a connection. I knew that we both felt something, but there seemed to be so many obstacles. For one, she was 7 years old. Our sons were 6 and 3 and our daughter was 4, this would completely disrupt the birth order. Secondly, we knew nothing about her medical condition. The left side of her face was malformed and she had a little ear on the left side of her face. My husband said, "Let's just look at her file, no one else has even looked at her file." So that's what we did. The Monday before Thanksgiving, Mark requested her file from CHI.

We looked at the file and didn't see any other medical condition, except for her little face and ear. Our pediatrician was out of town for Thanksgiving, but we left the file for her to review. I also had an ENT review the file and the ENT forwarded the file onto a specialist. I think we had all ready made up our minds, but the specialist said, "She will have to undergo several surgeries, but there is no reason that she can't be a healthy, happy child." Once our pediatrician returned from the holiday, she said, "This is very do-able, I have another patient with this condition and she does great!" Enough said, oh, but one more obstacle...a little boy who prides himself on being the oldest. I set down with my son and I showed him the picture of the little girl, we have come to know as Meah, and said, "This little girl is one year older than you, but dad and I think she would be a good fit for our family. "What do you think?" He said, "She looks sad and I think she needs a family and we have a great family." That was all we needed and we asked to adopt her.

That's when the paperwork craziness started. Since we weren't even in the China program, we basically had to start from square 1, but it was worth it. On July 28, 2008, we met our Meah for the first time and she was truly incredible. This is not true with every adoption, but Meah had little adjustment. She was very happy to have parents and be on her way home. Once home, we went to the children's hospital to be evaluated. We were told before we went to China that Meah most likely had Goldenhaar's Syndrome. Once she was evaluated by the plastic surgeon, she was diagnosed with hemifacial microsomia, which basically means the left side of her face is underdeveloped. She has good hearing in her right ear and we found out that her left side is capable of hearing, but she has no outlet. She has had phase 1 of the BAHA (bone anchored hearing aide) surgery completed and will be able to use the left side to hear at a normal range. We are expecting a surgery in January to start moving her left jaw forward and then approximately 8 weeks after that surgery she will have a major reconstruction surgery. There will be more surgeries and orthodontic care, but we're taking it one step at a time.

Meah has a truly incredible spirit. Before we went to China, I told my husband, that we all ready know we love her, all she has to do is love us, it's her choice. She has definitely made a choice to be a part of a family, to show love, and to love God. Fortunately, there has been little adjustment for us, it was like she always belonged here, but hadn't found her way. As one of our friends said, "She is the missing piece to your puzzle."

Our family blog is www.copelandsaplenty.blogspot.com. If you have any questions, leave a comment on our blog with your e-mail address.

Mary's daughter

2009-08-31T14:27:00.000-07:00

by Mary, mom to a daughter from China with Hepatitis B

It all started after watching three beautiful Chinese girls in dance class with my daughter each week. I had time to sit and chat with the mother who adopted these three beautiful girls from China. Each week we talked more about the adoptions. Adoption began to weigh heavily on my heart more and more. I had discovered that I could no longer have any more biological children. I had one biological daughter and after she was born I was diagnosed with something called Premature Ovarian Failure. I was really devastated and had come to the realization that I would only have the one child. My husband and I had discussed adoption, but I was not for it at all. I didn’t think I could love someone else’s child as my own. After many talks with this mother at dance class I realized that a Chinese adoption was God’s way of sending me a beautiful daughter that I wanted and needed.

In February 2006 we signed the contract with Living Hope Adoption Agency in PA. We began the paper chase that lasted until August 2006. We were not logged in until November 2006 after much dispute over getting papers translated to go to China. We were so relieved to finally be able to finish the paperwork and begin our wait time. Little did we know that the wait time was now up to 2 years. We were told it would only take 6 to 9 months after we were logged in. I was so sad by this news. I didn’t feel I could wait this long. Each day passed and the wait time kept increasing. After the third home study update we had to make a decision of whether we were going to continue with the adoption. It was draining us mentally and we didn’t want to continue to wait. I had seen a lot of children that were adopted from China with very little special needs appearing on our adoption agency website. I begin to ask the special needs coordinator about these children. She advised us we could complete paperwork to be put on the waiting list for a special needs child. She said it would not interfere with our normal log in date if we didn’t choose a child. We completed the paperwork and after mailing it back discovered we were now way down the waiting list. We had 32 families in front of us waiting for a special needs child. Again the emotions were draining us. We knew we would probably get our referral before we were offered a child with special needs.

In the fall of 2007, we decided we were only going to give ourselves to January 2008 to have a daughter from China. We just felt we could not continue this roller coaster anymore. In December 2007 I received a call from our adoption agency on my voice mail at work that they wanted to talk to us about a little girl that needed a forever family. I called the agency back and they were all gone for the day. I just could not sleep that whole night wondering about this little girl. I called first thing the next morning to find everyone in a staff meeting. I had to wait hours for someone to call me back. When I got the call I begin to take notes and I was so nervous I didn’t write everything down. Our agency said they had a 4 year old girl that had Hepatitis B and needed a forever family. I had no clue what Hepatitis B was. We told the agency we would review her file.

When we got the file we feel in love with this little girl. We were so nervous and skeptical after reading all the issues with Hepatitis B. I had already made up in my mind that we would pass and wait for another child that did not have a contagious disease. I was very frightened that if I brought this little girl into our family that my biological daughter would catch the disease or that some other family member would catch the disease. I had already spoken to two doctors and both were discouraging about this disease. I was very scared to be honest with you. Then Christmas day my biological daughter got a very high fever. I called the doctor the day after Christmas and they wanted to see her. At the end of the visit the doctor asked me if I had any other questions. I said yes I do, and asked her to explain Hepatitis B. I told her that I had already spoken to a doctor in the office but I wanted another opinion. She begin to explain that Hepatitis B was spread from one person to the other by blood. She said it was not easily spread. I had read on the CDC website that it was spread through salvia and other bodily fluids. I was thinking that sneezing, coughing, and eating after one another would spread the disease. It was misleading on the website. It is spread by blood not with everyday casual contact of the individual. This doctor told me her personal opinion that if she had to make a decision of adopting a child with Hepatitis B that she would not hesitate in any way. It was as though my biological daughter had gotten sick for a reason. I needed to speak to the doctor to make my decision. I knew in my heart I must continue with the adoption of this 4 year old girl.

My husband had already known from the beginning that he wanted to adopt her. I knew after that discussion with the doctor that there was no way I was not going to adopt this 4 year old girl. She had waited in the SWI and foster care for 4 years of her life for her forever family. She had seen friends come and go and she remained. She needed a family to love her forever regardless of her health. We signed the paperwork to accept her and the time went by so fast. In March 2008 we received our daughter in China. She was not like the other children who were crying in the crowds. She came running to us and gave me the biggest hug you have ever seen. She melted our hearts away with her beauty and love for us. She has adjusted wonderfully with our family. She gets blood work every 3 months. It is tough to watch her get the blood drawn but she is a real trooper. The GI doctor is watching her blood work closely to see if her body if trying to fight off the disease. If and when she begins to fight her disease is when liver damage can occur. This is the reason for the blood work every 3 months. When she begins to fight the disease she will begin medication at that time to help protect her liver. We just pray every day that her body will overcome this disease. Please open your hearts to adopt from China and don’t hesitate about Hepatitis B. It will change your life forever.

If you decide to adopt a child with Hepatitis B please do keep in mind that their medical condition needs to be protected, and their medical condition does not need to be shared with everyone. We have only shared her medical condition with immediate family. You will be surprised how many friends you may lose when they discover your child has a contagious disease. It is those who do not understand the disease like me at first that are scared of the disease until they are educated. Educate those you share your child’s medical condition with. We were advised by our doctor to be vaccinated against Hepatitis B, and when our daughter gets a cut or scrap we use gloves at all times. Your child will have this lifelong disease and she/he should not be treated any differently than any child, so think first before you share their medical condition. It is something you can never take back once you share.

Ryan

2009-06-22T06:30:00.000-07:00

by Darcy, mom to Ryan from China with bilateral microtia/atresia

“Such A Time As This”

After several years of trying to adopt domestically, God led us to pursue international adoption. In October of 2005, our family traveled to China to adopt our daughter, Rylee. Our oldest son, my husband, and myself soaked up the experience, yet counted down the days until we would return home. There were several times when we said, “We’re glad we came, but we are glad we don’t have to do this again” as it was a long, emotional, and difficult trip for us.

In March of 2006, while putting away all of the baby things in our storage room, my husband stopped me dead in my tracks by saying the words that would forever change the course of our family – “I think we need to talk”. After several attempts to beat around the bush, he finally said, “I think we need to pray about adopting again. I’m not in agreement with this, I’m not interested in this and I am completely content where we are, but I believe that we are supposed to pray about this, as crazy as it sounds.” My response was not exactly positive. I told him that I would be happy to pray about it, but I knew what the answer was going to be – “No”. I could even list out all the reasons why the answer would be “No!” So we embarked on this “journey of prayer” more out of obligation and obedience than out of openness- They say that confession is good for the soul! Several weeks later, out of frustration from trying to figure out what God wanted us to do, I did something that I do not encourage – I randomly opened up the Bible and randomly pointed to a verse… Oh, yes I did! God knew where I was at and spoke to me clearer than I could ever have imagined… Here is the verse:

“Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, because what I want is not your possessions but you. After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. So I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well. If I love you more, will you love me less?”
2 Corinthians 2: 14-15

How could we argue with that? One-by-one God changed each of our hearts and by June 2006 we were working on another stack of paperwork. Our paperwork was sent in a week after Rylee’s first anniversary with us.

In late June of 2007, after waiting many months and watching the “Special Delivery” listings on our agencies website, a little boy caught my eye. I believe that this particular list had been up since May. I had poured over this same list several times before, but I had not seen this little boy until that moment - Isn’t God’s timing always amazingly perfect? This little 18-month-old boy, listed as Stephen on the “Special Delivery” list, had been on the list awhile and yet no one had inquired about him. He had been diagnosed with bilateral microtia/atresia. We were drawn to him, but not quite sure that this was a match for our family. A week later, my sister-in-law and her family came for a visit. Knowing that my sister-in-law’s friend had adopted a little boy with an ear condition six months prior, I showed her the picture of Stephen. She proceeded to tell me that this was the same condition that her friend’s son had and she shared how he was thriving in his new home. A condition that we had never heard of and the timing of her visit perked our interest and we began doing some preliminary research on the condition and contacted her friend.

Through many miraculous events, the answer became abundantly clear that we were being called to adopt this little boy. So, we submitted the necessary paperwork to begin the process of adopting him. In the midst of submitting our paperwork, we requested additional information from China. We requested an ABR (auditory brain response test) and agreed to pay the additional fees to have this test conducted. China agreed and drove a significant distance to meet this request. After receiving the results, we submitted all of the medical records to our international adoption pediatrician for review. We believed with all our hearts that God was leading us to adopt this little boy. So, we began praying that if this was not His will that He would clearly close this door in a way that we could be certain. On Saturday, July 14th we received the call from our pediatrician. She indicated that she had significant concerns for the health of the child. He was born on the normal bell curve for Chinese boys, but had since then slipped off and was very tiny for his age. She indicated that this had to mean 1 of 2 things: He was either severely malnourished or there was something seriously wrong internally. If he was receiving the appropriate nutrition and calories, then something was wrong internally whereby his body was not absorbing them. Either way, she had significant concerns as we had two other young children to care for. That night, based upon what we believed was an answer to our prayers; we elected to terminate the process. We felt as though God had answered our prayers - Not in the way that we wanted, but the answer was clear. Tearfully, we posted a note on our blog to family and friends who had prayed with us through this process telling them it was over.

Several days later, my husband was cleaning off his desk at work. While doing so, he came across the health records that had been reviewed the previous week. Since the process was over he decided to shred them. After shredding approximately ½ of them, he looked down at one of the pages just prior to shredding the remaining pages. His eyes were drawn to the date on one of the documents - God was revealing to him that there was a mistake in the dates. After frantically rereading the remaining pages, it became clear that there was a misprint in the documents. Two of the 13 pages had a February 16, 2007 date on them. All of the remaining pages had a February 16, 2006 date. Frantically, he attempted to call me. Once he was finally able to get me, he said “I know this sounds crazy and I hate to do this to you, but I need you to pull out the medical paperwork again. I believe with all my heart there’s a mistake in it”. After pulling out the information from our computer’s recycle bin, I had to agree with him that there were errors. Of course, it all happened a few minutes before 5:00 and my rush to contact our social worker was put to a halt as no one was answering the phones. So, we were forced to wait until the next morning to investigate our theory. The next day, our social worker looked over the documents and was just as puzzled. She assured us that she would have the staff that translated the documents look over everything again. Since there is a 12-hour delay and the offices in China are closed, we were forced to wait even longer.

After several emails back and forth to China, they determined that there was an error in the translation of the dates. There was a mistake in the paperwork and God knew it the entire time. He carefully walked us through this in His time; in order to demonstrate to us the miracle He had in-store all along. Scripture tells us that God’s love reaches beyond what we can imagine. We have seen this. How the God of this universe can love a little boy in an orphanage in China this much is beyond all that we can imagine. But we know that He does. This is the picture of love that He gives us. How can we fail to do the same? So, literally days before his file was to be returned to China, we scurried to finalize the paperwork necessary to make a request to the Chinese government that he become a part of our family!

He arrived home to us on December 19, 2007 and captured our hearts. Having a degree in deaf education, I quickly began using sign language as he transitioned into our home. He responded immediately to our mode of communication and quickly caught on to the English language.

Stephen, now Ryan, is a thriving 3½ year old that loves cars and the outdoors. He has adapted very well and is very healthy. He has a wonderful, confident, and curious personality. He already has a sense of humor and can make you laugh within minutes of meeting him. We know without a doubt that God is going to do great things in and with his life!! He wears a BAHA (bone anchored hearing aid) on a softband and with this device he has hearing within “normal” ranges. He is receiving services through our county school system. While in school, he also utilizes an FM system that has been very beneficial for him with the background noise within the classroom.

We have learned to “never say never” and now feel complete as a family of five! We could not imagine our family without him!

Believe it or not, I left out a TON of details from his story. If you are interested in reading the whole story, the journey to China to bring him home, the quest to provide him medical support, etc, feel free to check out his blog here. We are happy to answer any questions you may have about this condition or adoption in general.

Chu Meng

2009-06-05T08:53:00.000-07:00

by Cheri, mom to Chu Meng from China with Arachnoid Brain Cyst (later to find out stroke induced Cerebral Palsy), Developmental Delay, Seizures

Chu Meng’s story is a bit unusual but her story all the same.

Our family like many families started out as a NSN family. Our LID was May 16, 2006. I started looking at our agency’s waiting child list in November of '06 but my husband was not ready to take that step. I started doing research and printing off articles on different special needs so I would be prepared for our next talk about adopting a child with special needs. At the end of June 2007 we filled out our medical check list and submitted it to our agency. We had checked off over half of the items on the list and felt comfortable with our decision.

On October 5, 2007 we received our referral call. I was excited and shocked as we had not been on the list for very long. I had our oldest daughter video the call. What I heard though left a knot in my stomach. Our daughter had an Arachnoid Brain Cyst, developmental delay and was at risk for seizures. It was almost too much for me to think about. Where did my excitement go? I was now scared and nervous. She was not walking or talking at almost two. I now had to call my husband and tell him about our potential daughter's special need that I knew nothing about.

My husband came home from work and reviewed her file with me. Did I mention it was a long holiday weekend? I was able to send her file to our doctors office and speak with him. All the information I found on the internet was extremely frightening. I did find information at Children’s Hospital of Boston. I was even able to speak to one of their pediatric neurosurgeons. After speaking to both doctors and tons of prayers we knew this was our daughter. A week later I was able to talk in person to my neurosurgeon. We showed him the CAT scan China sent us and the pictures of Chu Meng. He told us that yes, the CT looked like an arachnoid brain cyst. He also look to see how her pictures were. He did mention some thing about a stroke but said she looked great. We knew we would have to have faith and courage to get through the coming year of possible brain surgery or a brain shunt.

Two weeks before we met Chu Meng we received an update that she was using a baby walker (still not walking independently) or talking. We met Chu Meng on December 10, 2007. We went into that day with no expectations and received so many blessings. We walked into the room and saw our daughter standing! Not only was she standing but she was walking! Talk about breath taking! We were so blessed and truly felt God’s presence that day.

After a month here in the states all the tests started. We were seeing doctors and doing different test twice every other week for a long time. One of the first tests done was an MRI. The results of the MRI shocked us. Chu Meng does have cystic pockets within her brain but she had a stroke in utero that has caused her to have mild cerebral palsy. Can I tell you that we did not check off CP on our long list of medical special needs. I stereo-typed like most do when they hear cerebral palsy, I thought of the worst possible case. I didn’t even research it. That’s OK! If it took an arachnoid brain cyst for us to be aware of cerebral palsy than so be it. Now we educate everyone and anyone about it.

Chu Meng has gone through a ton of tests to make sure her vision and hearing are well. She has had EKG’s and EEG’s. You name it, she’s probably had it. Chu Meng currently takes medication for seizures. She has had two major seizures since coming home. Both were induced by fever but because of her brain damage she will always be at risk for seizures.

We recently found out that Chu Meng’s whole left side of her brain was damaged during her stroke. You might not know it if you were to see her in the store or on the play ground. She walks with a very small limp and fists her right hand. If you speak to her she’ll probably just smile at you. You see Chu Meng’s speech has been affected the most. Even though she understands you her little brain and mouth have a hard time getting the words out. She does use some sign language though which will come in handy for our next adoption. Oh yeah, we are adopting a 6 year old little boy who is deaf! :)

We have been blessed beyond our wildest dreams. Has it been hard? Yes! Does it get easier? You betcha!

Feel free to visit our blog here!

Ella

2009-06-03T04:33:00.000-07:00

by Kelly, mom to Ella from China with a congenital heart defect

The decision to pursue a “special needs” adoption when we were ready to bring home our second daughter, our fifth child, was an easy one for us to make. In fact, we never even considered ‘getting back in line’ for a NSN (non-special needs) adoption.

At the time we started talking about adopting again, we had four children at home: three teenage sons and a toddler daughter, adopted in November 2006 (a NSN adoption). Blessed beyond measure at the incredible kids we were parenting, I was reminded of a verse of scripture (one that I quote frequently to my children): “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” Luke 12:48.

Acknowledging that we had, indeed, been given much, and we understood that we were expected to give back as much, and our second adoption plan began with our focus to adopt a child with an identified medical need.

About six months after returning from China with our first daughter, Katie, I started perusing "special needs" lists of various agencies. I didn't have a clear idea of who I was looking for; I just jumped in with both feet and started looking at beautiful little girls who needed families.

Over the course of the next five months or so, I probably looked at the files of six or seven little girls. At that time (2007), there was no "shared list" -- each agency who did Special Needs adoptions had a list of 10 - 20 kids and most of those lists were available to the public (sometimes after requesting a password), but you could "find" your child before choosing an agency. And that's what I was trying to do.

I was pretty random in requesting files. I looked at children with CL/CP, heart defects, strabismus, clubbed feet, medical needs all over the proverbial map, if the truth is told. After looking at so many files, losing a little bit of my heart to each one of these precious children, my wise husband finally questioned me about how I was approaching my search, and suggested we narrow our focus by investigating medical issues we could ‘handle’ as a family. By that, I mean the type of medical needs wouldn’t be terribly invasive on day-to-day schedules of our large family with the busy schedules of three teenage sons. We understood that there are unknowns with every adoption, and that the medical referral information is not necessarily 100% reliable, but wanted to plan for every scenario, that the number of necessary doctor appointments for our new child wouldn’t negatively impact the time we spent with the four children we already had in our home, and that if corrective surgery were necessary, there were specialists in our geographic location so that we wouldn’t have to travel far for any medical procedures and follow-up appointments.

Together, then, my husband and I determined that we would seek another little girl, one who was about a year younger than Katie, with an ASD or VSD, as we have a fantastic children’s heart center here in our city. We were also inspired to choose a heart baby by our then 12 year old niece, Rebecca, who was born with a serious congenital heart defect,”Transposition of the Great Vessles,” and had open heart surgery at 9 days old. Today she is a teenager who is vibrant and beautiful and a living testimony to God’s power and the qualified medical experts in our city.

At 3:06 pm on September 21, 2007 I saw our daughter’s darling face for the first time. She was one of 20 children on a new list that was sent to us from Christian World Adoptions (we had requested information on a different child earlier in the summer and our names were on CWA's email list). Since I happened to be on the computer shortly after this email was sent, I quickly looked at the children and felt my heart stop when I saw child 07-9-8 on the list. One look at her precious face, then a quick skimming of the accompanying text which described her current physical measurements and the diagnosis of a VSD... and I knew.

Something just clicked when I saw the very brief snippet of information on our daughter (her name, date of birth and a brief description of her finding and medical information). All in all, it took me fewer than 30 seconds to email the agency back requesting information on the child identified as number 07-9-8 (my email program tells me it was just 13 minutes after the list arrived in my inbox that I hit the "send" button).

Immediately after sending the email to the agency I called my husband at work and told him to check the email and open the attachment and find 07-9-8's information. I told him I thought that child was our daughter. His first comment to me was something along the lines of "why are you on the computer in the middle of the day?" but he thought she was precious, and happy that I'd requested the information. I had to tell him it would be a few days before we would receive her file as the agency had to have the medical files translated into English first.

Four days later, on September 25, we received an email from the adoption agency informing us we were first in line to review our this little girl’s file, and that it would probably be through translation and sent to us by the first week of October. Later that week, we flew to Seattle, Washington to visit my sister.

On October 1, 2007, we received the translated medical file via email, and since we were only given five days in which to have the medical files approved by our pediatrician and specialists, we were a bit frantic to be dealing with something so important so far away from home and in a different time zone! I think our pediatrician's office is the only one in America who doesn't use computers, so I had to fax the referral file and photos (about 15 pages) to his office, and also emailed the information to our chosen pediatric cardiologist and another cardiologist who happens to be a good friend of the family. Less than an hour later our pediatrician called me on my cell phone and gave us his blessing on this referral. It took a few days longer to hear back from the cardiologists, but they also were encouraged by the information they had reviewed and told us to accept the referral if we so wished (oh, we wished, all right!).

So while standing on the sidewalk in front of a store on Bainbridge Island, Washington, on October 5, 2007, I called the adoption agency in North Carolina and gleefully accepted Ning Jiao Jiao as our daughter. That day will forever be etched in my memory -- the day we became parents to our fifth child, our 2nd daughter! Aunt Karen mentioned the coincidence that Jiao Jiao's case number was the same as my birthday just a few weeks before -- 07-9-8. During that phone call with Carol at CWA, she mentioned that Jiao Jiao had had 15 families express interest in her the first two days the list was out -- and because I happened to be on the computer at exactly the right time, we were first in line and, if we “wanted her,” she was ours! There was never a doubt in my mind that Jiao Jiao was our daughter.

Our families were thrilled for us, but no one more so than our beautiful niece, Rebecca. When we told her we had identified her newest cousin, showed her the referral pictures, and told her that our baby had a VSD, she looked at us with tears in her eyes and said, “You chose a baby with a heart defect? On purpose?” All I could do was smile and nod at her, her shining eyes full of joy at our acknowledgement that heart babies were every bit as loved and desirable as babies who were “perfectly healthy.”

We went on to paper chase and then wait for the slow wheels of the USCIS and the CCAA to turn and approve our paperwork, and finally received the okay to travel to China again. We took our four children with us to meet their little sister, and became a family of seven on June 23, 2008, in Nanchang, Jiangxi.

1st full day with Ella (19 months old)

Our precious Ella has been home for over seven months now. She has grown by leaps and bounds, from an emaciated, wobbly rag doll-like baby to a full-fledged running, jumping toddler. The effects of living in an institution for 19+ months are slowly receding, being replaced by a vibrant, happy child with silky hair and shining eyes.

As for her heart condition, she still has the VSD we were informed of in her referral information. A battery of tests (including a sedated echocardiogram) verified that the hole in her heart is still there, but is her heart is trying to repair itself by growing “aneurismal tissue” over the hole. Her pediatric cardiologist painted this word picture of Ella’s heart: “instead of a solid wall, she has a “screen door” growing across the hole between the chambers of her heart – this tissue is slowing the passage of blood from the left side to the right, but has not stopped it.” But her blood pressure is good on both sides of her heart, her oxygen levels are where they need to be, and the cardiologist will re-evaluate her in a few more months to see if the tissue is still growing and if surgery will ever be necessary to correct this congenital heart defect.

Sisters (Katie 3, Ella 26 months)

I know that all children with heart conditions are not as fortunate as our daughter is, and that many of those families who have adopted CHD children have had surgeries and hospital stays. We may have that in our future, only time will tell.

But in the meantime, we have a vibrant, happy, joyful little girl who copies everything her slightly older sister does, clomps around the house in mommy’s way-too-big shoes, hugs (and bugs) the dog and loves spending time playing with her big brothers. A little girl who, with her sister, loves being outside, playing with PlayDoh and reading books, and who loves to snuggle with her pink stuffed puppy, “Bubba.” This little girl completed our family.

Cousins: Rebecca, Ella, Rachel & Katie

**UPDATE**
11 months after arriving home, and 10 1/2 months after an echocardiogram and testing to evaluate her heart, we are overjoyed to announce that Ella's VSD is closed! No surgery was necessary, God chose to heal her heart, and we're giving Him all of the glory!

by Kelly, mom to:
Katie, a. 11/8/06 Yangdong SWI, Guangdong
Ella, a. 6/24/08 Ningdu CWI, Jiangxi
and their three teenage brothers

Naomi ChuYu

2009-05-04T04:46:00.000-07:00

by Amy, mom to Naomi from China with cleft lip and gumline, Hep B and an abundance of joy

Our adoption journey started in 2002. My first born son was just 2 years old. We were at an Easter party when a friend stopped by with her brand new daughter from China. She did not get out of the car because her new little one was screaming. I peeked into the back seat of the car and saw the cutest, saddest, maddest, sweetest little China doll. It was from that moment that I knew I had to have a daughter from China.

Several years later the same friend was in the process of adopting her second little one from China. She was looking at the agency's SN list and saw a little one with Hep B. She works for a GI doc who happens to be Chinese, so she asked him to take a look at a SN little girl with Hep B. His response was, “looks good, but what is the special need?” Her Doctor/boss did not view Hep B as a SN and told her to “go for it” as Hep B was most often very manageable. That little story got tucked away deep in my memory bank.

Fast forward a couple of years to December 2003 when my second son was born. We now enjoyed two wonderful boys yet we still wanted a daughter. Because of the overwhelming number of boys in my husband’s family, he figured a girl wasn’t in the cards. I brought up adoption often, but he just felt done. We had our two great kids and he did not want to be out numbered. There were a many nights I went to bed sad. I so desperately wanted my daughter from China but knew that we both had to want her. I finally dropped it… I was not going to talk about China anymore.

Out of no where, in December 2006 I was sitting on the couch, Pete on the floor when he looked up at me and said “ I want a daughter- let's adopt”. We selected our agency (the same agency that brought my inspiration home to be with her momma) and got going on the mountains of paperwork. We had a LID of June 4, 2007 for a NSN child. After waiting almost a year and figuring we would be waiting at least another 5, we decided to switch to SN. Our son has Noonan syndrome so we knew we could handle some special needs, as he is a joy and a blessing. His milestones brought so much joy to us. When it came time for us to fill out our SN checklist, Hep B seemed like an obvious choice. Several others however, were much more difficult.

We started looking at the SN list and I became a bit obsessed. The looking, losing, locking and sometimes dismissing of files was absolutely draining. We found the selection process completely unnatural and when we did not agree on the child for one reason or another, had to keep in mind that we must both agree 100% before saying yes. Information from China is often incomplete or inaccurate so we sought out help from several universities on the medical information. We each had our hearts broken and sometimes questioned ourselves for having the ability to ever say no to a child in need, no matter how severely it may impact our family. This part of the journey I would not wish upon my worst enemy. It was very hard and painful.

August 13, 2008 I had a dream that I woke up looked out our bedroom window and saw a beautiful blue sky with a Cherry blossom tree blooming . . . That very morning we got “the call” at 7:15. Myriam told us we had an 11 month old baby girl with a cleft lip and palate with Hep B. I immediately fell in love and the excitement was indescribable. Pete was a little hesitant but gave the go-ahead. He was a little weirded out by her lip in the photo even though he knew this was “supposed” to be manageable. We received an update from Ladybugsnlove.com in September. Our daughter was in foster care and her lip had been repaired. What a surprise. We later found out that Love without Boundaries did the repair. We are so grateful.

referral picture

I traveled to China with my dad and sister and an amazing group of people. My husband wanted to stay with our boys because he felt uncomfortable leaving them for so long. What a wonderful journey it was. I loved our trip and the country. I brought home the best souvenir a family could have asked for… little Mei Mei (Naomi).

The moment she was placed in my arms, I was so happy and she was so sad

Our daughter has been home with us for a couple of months. We have seen the gastroenterologist/hepatologist for her Hep B. We will go back in 6 months so they can check her levels again. So far the doctor thinks she is a classic case and probably won’t need any treatment for a very very long time. We had an appointment with the cleft team they say her lip looks good and she does not have a cleft palate. Good news!!! She will need her gum line repaired as well as a nose and lip revision when she is around 5 or 6.

just being cute

Our daughter is an absolute joy. Her brothers adore her as she does them. Last night as my husband laid Naomi in her bed he told her he loved her and she made his dreams of having a daughter come true. Sometimes my husband and I just look at her and know she is clearly our little girl. She makes everyone laugh. I am constantly amazed by her, she is beautiful inside and out. God truly gave us the perfect little girl. I am in Love all over again. I can’t explain how much this little girl has brought to our family, so much love and joy and a little chaos too. And it has been so fun to have a little pink in our house. I would do this all over again in a heart beat.

Our blog is Finally a Family of Five, please stop by.

Jaxon

2009-04-13T04:24:00.000-07:00

by Stephanie, mom to Jaxon from China with bilateral cleft lip and cleft gumline

Our son Jaxon joined our family as our first son, but third child. Our first adopted daughter, Jaida, was adopted through the regular program, in 2005. When we went to her orphanage, and since returning home, I was haunted by an image of a beautiful baby girl who sat in a walker, looking through a window at me. She had a cleft lip. She is on a video I have of Jaida's orphanage, and it just really made a deep impression on me. Our eldest daughter, Maia, was born with a cleft palate, among other genetic issues, and I could not help but wonder what happened to the children with cleft, or other issues, who needed homes.

When we knew we wanted to adopt a child again, the Waiting Child Program has become more familiar to us. It was a year after we had adopted Jaida, and we had our social worker back to start our second homestudy. We told her, we wanted an older child, not a baby, and one with a medical issue, such as a cleft, or heart defect - we were quite
open. Having our own eldest child deal with a cleft palate, and a heart defect - it was a very simple decision for our family to decide. The medical conditions do not define a child, they are just part of who they are. We also had learned that clefts were far more common in the Asian population and many children with clefts were available for adoption.

On a Sunday evening near the end of September 2007, our agency called and told us that a little boy was available who was just over 2 years old, and had a bilateral cleft lip and cleft gumline. We asked immediately for his information. The minute we saw him we knew we had a son.

There were several people who questioned our desire to adopt from the Waiting Child Program. As I mentioned, our eldest daughter has genetic issues - quite severe - and people said, "Why do you want to have another child with "issues". We didn't see it that way at all. What we felt was that our family had room in their hearts to love a child who might need a bit of surgery, or speech therapy - such small things compared to what we would receive from our beautiful child. After learning of the waiting child program, we felt that would be the only choice for our family.

When we met our son for the first time - he was so small, and scared, and quiet. My heart was so full of love from the minute I held him in my arms. His cleft had been repaired in China, well - and he will need another surgery as he gets his adult teeth - a bone graft - and braces. His smile is already the most beautiful thing to us. From day 1, his cleft has been a non-issue. Yes, he needs to be followed by a cleft team yearly as he grows. Yes, he needs speech therapy, which he gets through a local children's treatment centre. You know what? My middle daughter also needed speech therapy, and she is not cleft affected!

Today our son is a typical three year old boy, who loves dirt, food, teasing his sister and hugging and loving his family. He is secure and happy and beautiful. We feel so blessed to have the family we do. We don't even think of him as having any "special need" - we don't even see his cleft lip - it is invisible to us - we see our son, so handsome and happy and smiley.

If we had the means to, we would be again applying to adopt a child with a special need. A special need is not scary - it is just a part of a child. A child who will fulfill you beyond measure.

Our family is from Canada, and we adopted using Family Outreach International.

You can follow the adventures of our family, including our son Jaxon, at our Family Blog and read about our journey to get Jaxon at his travel blog.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at steph.stpierre@gmail.com.

Kaylin Mei Lian

2009-04-10T05:01:00.000-07:00

by Anita, momma to Kaylin Mei Lian from China with Tetralogy of Fallot (CHD)

As we began the adoption of our daughter, Kaylin, we went into it like many families requesting a non-special needs child as young as possible from China. We had already been blessed with three older, biological children who were healthy, and looking at the list of different special needs seemed a bit overwhelming at first glance. Our dossier was logged into China in July 2005 and so we began THE WAIT!

As many of you are aware, the wait for China began to grow that fall of 2005. We should have received our referral in January or February of 2006, but the Lord had this wait in mind for us and for our daughter. You see…. during our wait, the Lord began drawing my heart, especially, to the many special needs children that I would see on waiting children’s lists. I would look at the precious face of a child and learn more about his/her special need, and thus educating myself about various needs. Little by little, the physical needs no longer seemed quite as overwhelming as they initially had…. to the place that we began to get a sense that our child would actually be on a waiting child’s list and no longer a NSN child. As I had worked in Cardiology for several years and personally have a heart murmur along with other family members with cardiac issues, the children with heart issues would spark my attention each time.

And then…. it happened. This precious face of a sweet baby girl came up on our agency’s waiting children’s list on April 3, 2006. I’ll never forget opening up her file on my computer and looking at her precious face with my husband. Oh my goodness…. what beautiful eyes she had and what a hat! She will always be known as the “baby with the hat”.

(Kaylin’s referral photo)

As we read through her file knowing that she had a CHD (congenital heart defect), we wondered about her diagnosis of Tetralogy of Fallot and what all that would entail. We were so blessed to have two FREE reviews of her medical information within 24 hours. One review was from a Mayo Clinic Pediatric Cardiologist and the other was from a Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital Pediatric Cardiologist (who would later become Kaylin’s doctor). Both doctors said that she looked to be a great candidate for open heart surgery to repair her ToF should we decide to adopt her. At that point, we knew that we wanted to be her parents and family and sent in our request to our agency….. still with some fear and trepidation.

On April 17, 2006, I received the phone call that would change our lives and her life forever stating that we had been selected among many families to adopt Lian WuLu. As we were at the beginning of the slow down, our agency thought it would take the normal 4 months or so before we would travel though we kept feeling that we would travel in June of 2006. And may I say that we had those “impressions from the Lord” all during her adoption that would encourage us and become God-moments that confirmed her adoption over and over to us.

On Monday night, May 29th, I had a dream that we had received our TA for her and that we traveled quicker than our agency expected. After I woke up that Tuesday morning, I told my husband about the dream and asked him if he thought I should start working on getting our Visas for travel, and he said yes. On Thursday morning as I turned the calendar to June 1st, I reminded the Lord….”if you’ve given us this impression that we are traveling this month, I don’t see how it’s going to happen” knowing that it usually takes weeks from TA to get the travel arrangements made. Let’s just say once again, “God’s plans will NOT be stopped”.

That very day, Thursday, June 1, 2006, we received our TA and it had been approved only 3 weeks after receiving our LOI to adopt our daughter. At that time, it was one of the quickest approvals and TA to have been received. AND…. we were to leave for China only 12 days later on June 13, 2006!!!! Once again another God-moment was in the making as we left on June 13, 2006 EXACTLY one year after our daughter had been found on June 13, 2005!! Over and over again, the Lord would confirm this was our daughter that He had chosen for us.

On Monday, June 19, 2006, we were driven to the Civil Affairs Office in Nanjing and waited to receive our precious daughter, Lian WuLu, whom we would name Kaylin Mei Lian. Her name has special meaning for us as a family, too. Kay is my middle name and also given to our biological daughter, Jennifer. Lin in Chinese means beautiful. One form of Mei means little sister which she was to our daughter. Lian was from her orphanage name, but also means Grace as does my name Anita.

Upon her arrival with her nanny and the other orphanage caregivers, our breath was taken away as she was placed in my arms. She was beautiful and so very healthy looking. We couldn’t get over how big she was at 13 mos old which was very unusual for a heart baby. Then, we received the MOST amazing news! Her orphanage director told us that she had ALREADY had her open heart surgery 6 mos previously in December at 7-1/2 mos old!! We honestly did not know what to think as this information was NOT known to us, our agency or in her medical report. Did she need another surgery? Was her surgery successful? After sharing this incredible information with us, they proceeded to hand us her cardiac meds which she chewed up! Oh my goodness! She’s only 13 mos old!!

(Kaylin’s Gotcha Day, June 19, 2006)

Our time in China with her was amazing. She was a bit quiet that first day, but after a night’s sleep and some good food in her belly, she woke up a happy, cooing, smiling baby girl. I would recommend to anyone adopting an infant to take some kind of carrier, such as a Hip Panda, with you to China. She LOVED being in it and would coo and sing and sleep. It really helped in our bonding process. Physically, she could already sit up on her own and crawl, too. She ate everything we tried giving her except for peaches and drank well from her bottles! We were so thrilled to see how incredibly well she had been cared for.

(Kaylin, 13 mos, at the White Swan in Guangzhou)

After arriving home, we took Kaylin to her Pediatric Cardiologist at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital where they performed an EKG, echocardiogram and an examination. Her cardiologist could not get over the expertise of the surgery that was performed in China. He said, “Her surgery is as good as if we had performed it here at Vanderbilt”. We were overjoyed to hear this news along with the news that she only needed to be seen yearly. He also shared that at some point in her future, maybe in her 20's or 30's, she might need a valve replacement performed. However, at the point that she might need it, they will have perfected such a surgery via cardiac catheterization instead of another open heart surgery. Again, more wonderful news about her heart and her further care.

(Kaylin, 3-1/2 yrs, Oct 08)

Now, let me say, that I hesitated in sharing our story only because it rarely happens that you do not know that your child has had open heart surgery before receiving them. That is a major detail that is usually NOT left out of such medical histories, I would think. Then again, there are many times when information is left out and it’s only after you come home that you find out there are other issues either medically or emotionally. We believe, without a doubt, that the lack of information was part of our faith-walk with the Lord to Kaylin. He was asking us to trust Him for what she needed and what we needed to bring her home. I have shared, on more than one occasion that I am very much a tentative and quite honestly, scared, faith-walker at the adventures that God places before us. However, this is one adventurous blessing that I would not have wanted to miss.

(Kaylin, 3-1/2 yrs, with her sister Jennifer and Momma, Christmas 2008)

Here we are now, almost 3 years later with an almost 4 yr old little girl who has changed our family and our world forever!! My what a gift….. what an incredible gift from the Lord is this little girl who loves to dance and sing and LOVES Thomas the Train and any and all sports and writes her name and counts to 100 and brings such incredible joy to us each day. We continue to pray for the Lord to heal her heart completely. For as much as He healed it through open heart surgery, she still missed out on having a mother and a father those first 13 mos of her life while living in an orphanage. She missed out on having me with her during her open heart surgery while she was hospitalized for 6 weeks at a very young age which breaks my heart over and over at the thought. She has attached and bonded very well, but still has occasional moments of emotionally and physically needing me close at hand to reassure her that I will always be there for her.

(Kaylin (3-1/2 yrs) and Momma (age not mentioned) in Nov 08)

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions as well as follow our family journey here as Kaylin continues to grow up and bring smiles to our faces, laughter to our home and more love than you can imagine. As she always says, “Momma I love you…..you are my ever best friend!” Kaylin… your momma loves you more than you know as does your family and your Heavenly Father. What an incredible plan the Lord has for you dear one.

”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
~ Jeremiah 29:11

Annabelle

2009-04-07T04:57:00.000-07:00

by Shelley, mom to Annabelle from China with a SN of megacolon

We started paper-chasing for daughter #2 back in August 2006. Shortly before we started the paper chase again, we were already seeking treatments for Francesca's bowel issues and learning so much. As the wait time from LID to referrals increased (we were finally LID with China in April 2007), we decided to take a look into the possibility of adopting a special needs/waiting child. After doing a ton of research, we submitted our MCC (medical conditions checklist) with our agency back in October 2007 for a special needs/waiting child referral (I now remember we marked off many of the conditions mentioned on that list). Months went by without a word from our agency and we continued to seek the best possible medical treatment for our daughter, Francesca, who was already at this point been diagnosed with a mega colon and who has already had several procedures completed in order to help her. In the middle of May 2008, Francesca had an appointment with her gastro-specialist. During her appointment, Francesca started talking about her baby sister and how she is currently living in China just waiting for us to come and take her home. Her specialist was really intrigued and started asking me questions on our second adoption. I then explained to her about the switch we made from China's traditional program to the Waiting Child/ Special Needs program and that we were still waiting for a referral...and it was at that time when our Doc asked me if we marked off "mega colon" as one of our acceptable conditions and I told her NO, that "mega colon" wasn't listed as a choice on our list and that I didn't know if it was even possible for us to include that as an acceptable condition for us through our agency. Francesca's specialist's response was "That's too bad because you guys really know what's going on with mega colon and another child diagnosed with this condition would benefit so much from your knowledge, commitment, and love." Now, she had me thinking....

When we arrived home after leaving the doctor's office, I quickly pulled out our copy of the MCC that we submitted back in October 2007 to see if there was a spot on the form to include a mega colon and there was... on the form was a "write in" area where you can list other conditions that we not already listed. I quickly called Keith and asked if he would be on-board with adding a mega colon as one of our MCC choices. His response was exactly what I expected... he said, "Go for it!" I then updated our MCC and mailed it off to our agency in Colorado. A week later, I called our agency to see if they received our updated MCC which they didn't so I than decided to fax it to them. Once I got the confirmation from the fax machine that it was sent, I called our agency back to confirm that they did get it. The representative from the WC department I got on the phone was a little short with me with regards to the new conditions I wrote in. Her exact words to me were, "We never get children with mega colon... let alone one that has been diagnosed with a mega colon at such a young age. So don't expect a referral for one." Her words did not discourage me at all, but they did come back to haunt her... for a month later, for on June 27th, I received a phone call from our WC department head with a referral for a little girl who at the time was 14 months and was living in Beijing at a care center where she was placed after having emergency surgery on her mega colon when she was just 2 months old. Words can not explain what I was feeling when I got that phone call. Only one month before, we decided to add the words "mega colon" to our already filed MCC. And here we are, with a referral for a little girl who fits all of our dreams, hopes, and expeditions. Since we already had a child with mega colon, I just knew what was important for us to take... in excessive amounts of... to China for when we traveled back in October - November 2008. Diapers - over 300 of them - over 600 wipes - large amounts of Miralax, Benefiber, and Fletcher's Laxative along with a lot of tubes of diaper rash creams, and a few Fleet Enemas. These were items I just knew we would need to have with us over in China... because now we would have two children living with a mega colon. Right from the beginning, Annabelle was nothing like our Francesca. She bonded very well to me and cried very little when in China. She ate anything and everything and took her medications like a champ. Her poops were what I would call very normal and I knew exactly what needed to be done for when she did not have one.

Since arriving home, she has had no issues with her mega colon. She hasn't even seen the gastro specialist because we are so not experiencing any issues. She poops normally and goes at least every day~ once a day. The only thing I do watch is her fiber intake. She too is on a high fiber diet and takes 3 teaspoons of Benefiber daily. The reason for the high fiber diet is because she DOES have a mega colon.... even though it is not causing her any problems. Now remember, she did have surgery on her mega colon for a life threatening blockage back in June 2007 and according to her Chinese medical records everything went well with the surgery. Now with that said, I often find myself questioning both of our daughters cases and treatments. Is Annabelle mega colon not affecting her life as much as it does Francesca's because she had the surgery? We do not know. We have looked and looked for an answer to this very question in several areas but it always seems to be answered the same way... two kids... two different mega colons.

So there you have it. Our two daughters medical condition stories. I hope this helped you all understanding a little bit more of what we live with, how we are living with this disease daily, how it affects not only their lives but ours too, and what we are doing to help our children during their times of need.

We did submitted another MCC with our agency in December 2008 for a 3rd child from China that has been diagnosed with a mega colon, constipation, and/or bowel obstruction. Only time will tell if we will again be the lucky ones who will received another referral for either daughter #3 or son #1.... only time will tell.

Francesca

2009-04-05T06:39:00.000-07:00

by Shelly, mom to Francesca from China(NSN) with an undiagnosed SN of megacolon

Here is part one to our story starting with our oldest daughter, Francesca, who is truly one beautiful little girl... inside and out!

When Keith and I started our adoption journey (after experiencing some set backs on starting our family) we never dreamed where this journey would lead us to and how we would accept where our chosen path lead us. Our oldest daughter Francesca was adopted from China back in November 2005 through China's traditional program. She was 10 months old at the time of our adoption. She was such a scared and very emotional baby when placed into my arms on the never-going-to-forget day three years ago. Within minutes of her being placed in my arms, I knew something just wasn't right. She cried... and I mean cried for a long time and after looking back on the photos that were taken when in China... she just looked so lost. I wish I knew than what I know now but as they saying goes, you live and you learn... and we truly did. Once we arrived home, we noticed that she was having some bowel issues from not going - to going way too much. We tried everything from regulating her diet to increasing her daily intake of fluids. Medication and exercises were also tried with no such luck. Now, please keep in mind, we had no idea what was going on and after many MANY appointments with our pediatrician, he decided to send us to a specialist to see if they pin-point the problem. Now please remember that during this whole time Francesca personality was a little bit like a roller coaster ride. Sometimes, she was very happy and other times, she was just miserable. In my heart, I just know that something was not right. Within the first 20 minutes of our appointment with the gastro-specialist, she was able to confirm that Francesca indeed has a mega colon and it was very serious. She was severely impacted and something needed to be done that day to relieve her ASAP! She was admitted into the hospital and started getting the needed medications through a feeding tube (that was placed through her nasal cavity). This poor little girl...my heart just broke. Going through China's traditional program was not a guarantee that we were going to get a healthy baby by all means, but we so never expected this. According to her doctors, if action didn't take place that day, we could of had a very different outcome. Since that day, not only have I done a ton of research on mega colons, joined a local support group (our daughter was at one time the youngest member...now our Annabelle is), but I have been faithful in giving her the medications that she needs several times a day and have supported and encouraged her in eating a high fiber diet (which is not always that easiest thing to do). Francesca's mega colon has put limits on her life. She has dealt with having serve diaper rash for most of her life... all the way to bleeding sores on "her bottom" because of her mega colon (she has scars "down there" from the sores she has experienced) and has experienced several major "blow -outs" where her bowels just get so backed up and she can no longer hold "it" and it explodes...everywhere (this is the other side to her mega colon - either she is blocked up and needs a ton of medicine and/or professional help to help her movements along... as I mentioned above - or - she just can't control her bowel movements and it is explosive). Since she is having a very hard time getting potty trained (her bowels are constantly working and constantly leaking because of her medications... she can NOT get constipated), she can not go to preschool, she can not join dance classes, she can not take art classes and everywhere we go, we must carry a load of diapers with us for changing purposes and she is very limited on what she can do because of still being in diapers. When I ask her about being potty trained and going on the potty, this poor little dear just feels that it will never happen and she feels that her bowel problems are more controlling and important in her life than wanting to take some art classes and/or preschool. (How sad is that!) Keith and I are very passionate about helping our children and this situation is no different. After asking a lot of questions, having many pow-wows with all Francesca's doctors, and doing a lot of research, we decided to try and conquer this disease in a very different way. A few weeks ago, Francesca and I started seeing a child psychologist who specializes in children with medical disorders. So far so good. Her therapist has been wonderful and has some great ideas to help out Francesca with her bowel and emotional issues. Since our first visit with her therapist, I have learned so much about our Francesca's life before being placed into my arms that day three years ago and I have also learned so much from her therapist on why Francesca is the way she is. Some of the things we did learn about our Francesca and her life at her orphanage was that they most likely knew that she did have a bowel problem and since they didn't know how to handle it or treat her for it...the only thing they could do was tie her to a potty chair for long periods at a time (we know this because of the markings that were on her legs when we first got her and after our therapist did some research... our biggest fears were confirmed... she was tied to a potty chair for long periods of time). Also we discovered that she was never in foster care (as all the other children that were adopted at the same time as Francesca) because of her bowel issues and she never formed any type of bond with anyone from her orphanage (how could she when she was left alone in a room most of the day... all by herself). Just learning this helped us understand so much about why our little girl acted and behaved the way she did. Now, I am not saying that she was mistreated in any way. I do feel and believe that her care takers just didn't know what else to do. I am not blaming anyone for this... I am just happy that I finally got some information, proof, to back up my suspicions on what I thought happened before being united with us. Now with all this said, I can truly see why our little girl does have such strong issues with her bowels. Not only does she have a mega colon... but her early treatment for the mega colon was not the way her condition should of had been handled... especially the emotional bonding that she never experienced before coming into our lives. We now know that reassurance, love, trust, and communication are the keys to living with a mega colon... (oh ya... and a high fiber diet too!)

Please remember that Francesca has not have any surgery to correct her mega colon. Her specialists believe that the part of her colon that is affected will over time go back to its normal size. Am I overly happy about all the medication she is on? No, I am not, but if she doesn't take it... she get blocked up... and that is just not good for her. If you are wondering what types of medication she takes, here they are: Miralax over 17grams per day - Benefiber 2-4 tablespoons daily, a stool softener... depending on diet intake for that day - and Fletcher's laxative for when she misses a day of going... along with doubling up on all her other medications and if needed, Fleet enemas (which we had to resort to many times in the past).

Only time will tell what will happen with Francesca. We live with this disease every day... dealing with a ton of medications, a strict diet and constant discussion about poop. We also deal with issues of that little girl being tied to a chair for long periods of time without anyone around. Francesca has conquered so much over the three years she has come home with us and this is not going to stop her living her life. We are making sure of that. This is Francesca's story of her life ~ so far ~ with a mega colon.

Since we learned so much over the years of successful and failed treatments and since we feel we have an amazing team of doctors and specialist backing us up 100%... we felt it in our hearts to seek another daughter from China that also has been diagnosed with a mega colon... and this is where our Annabelle's story begins.

UPDATE: Since I started to compose this post, we have started again down the journey of potty training. With the network of supporters we have surrounding us, it looks like that we are making progress! She is doing well and I am so proud of her! I so wish I could go into more detail at this time, but for the respect of my daughter's struggle and privacy, I am going to hold off on her progress until I feel comfortable sharing all the details here.

If anyone at any time has questions regarding this post, I would so appreciate that you would email me privately so we can discuss this further: shelly22005@yahoo.com

You can visit our family blog here.

Mylee

2009-03-31T10:05:00.000-07:00

by Mandi, mom to Mylee from China with a SN or arthrogryposis, originally diagnosed by China as clubfoot

Adoption has always been a dream of mine, specifically China. I don’t have a specific moment or story of when I decided I wanted to adopt, nor did I know how or when I would adopt, I just knew that someday my dream would become a reality. I shared this dream with Matt (my husband) long before we were married. Lucky for me, he has always been open to idea of adopting from China. Matt and I have been married for almost 14 years and have been blessed with three wonderful biological children. Blake is 12, Emma is 7, and Gabe is 4. After each one of our children was born, we would talk about adoption, and even went so far as to call some agencies for more information. And like many couples, as soon as we saw the cost, we ran as far away from the idea as possible. After Gabe was born in 2004, we were content and certain that we were finished building our family. However, as much as I tried to ignore it, there had always been emptiness in my heart. Little did we know that God had different plans for our family.

In July of 2007, I ran into an old neighbor who at the last time I saw her was weeks away from going to China to get her daughter. I had not seen them since we moved five years ago, so it was nice to catch up. She happened to have her Chinese daughter with her and I remember not being able to take my eyes off her (they probably thought I was crazy). When I left them that day, I didn’t think too much about the chance encounter until I happened to run into them two more times that same week. At that point, I was beginning to get the message. So I cam home and brought it up to Matt again. He gave me the okay to contact an agency. That next morning first thing, I was on the phone as well as the internet researching adoptions from China. I contacted several agencies who all sent us some information about international adoption. Again, once we saw the cost we thought there was no way we were going to be able to come up with that kind of money. But this time, something kept telling me not to give up. So, Matt and I talked about the possibility of adopting, and decided that since the wait was at least three years, we could easily come up with the money in that amount of time. Again, He had different plans.

In late July, I set up a meeting with an agency to sign the application and to get the information on getting our dossier together. Our meeting was set up for the evening of August 1, but on July 26, I received a phone call from the agency asking if we would consider a special need child. To be honest, my first reaction was there is no way we can care for a child with medical disabilities, let alone take on that kind of expense. We are your average middle class family. We work hard, live paycheck to paycheck, and spend our free time enjoying our kids. So when I first heard about the “waiting children,” my first reaction was there is no way we can care for a child with a medical disability, nor afford the expense. I just assumed they were children with too many needs for us to handle. Not only would it be asking a lot of Matt and me, but of our other three children as well. Plus, with our busy and hectic lifestyle, we would not have the time, energy, or patience to parent a “special” child. After sharing these concerns with the agency, I quickly learned that these kids are “normal” and in most cases healthy, but may have some type of medically correctable need.

Anyway, I was told over the phone that the little girl was about 18 months old and was born with club feet. I wasn’t all that familiar with club feet, but knew that my mom had been born with club feet as well as one of Matt’s cousins. So, I told them to go ahead and send her file, but NO picture. I wanted to be able to read her file and gather as much information as possible without having an image in my head. That afternoon I was reading through my e-mails and noticed that the file had been sent. I spent most of the afternoon reading through it. It explained about her finding spot, what she was left with, her estimated birth date, along with about three pages of medical information. According to her file, she was born with bilateral club feet but other than that, she seemed to be quite healthy. As a matter of fact, according to her file she had had two successful surgeries to repair her feet. As I am reading this, I kept thinking there had to be something I was missing, because this just seemed too good to be true. By the way, I should probably mention that while I was reading this, Matt was at work and had no idea what he was about to come home to.

After reading her file, I noticed another e-mail that said Yan Zhao Lu’s picture. WHAT? Surely they did not send a picture after I asked them not too. But, as much as I did not want to open that file, something inside me kept telling me to just do it. So, with my hands shaking, and a knot in my stomach, I opened the file. At that moment, my world became very still because in front of me on my laptop screen was the image of the little girl I had been dreaming about for years. I distinctly remember staring into her eyes with tears forming in my eyes and saying “this is my daughter.” I don’t know how, but I just knew it with all of my heart and soul, she was waiting for us to bring her home.

As I said earlier, Matt was in for a real treat when he got home from work. I sat him down on the couch, went through the phone call I received earlier that day, and read him the file that had been e-mailed to me. The entire time I was telling him everything, he did not seem to be as excited as I had hoped he would be. Obviously he had tons of questions, his biggest question being the most realistic. “How in the world are we going to come up with that kind of money in less than a year?” As much as I did not want to hear him say that, I knew he was right. Coming up with the money over three years was asking a lot, I knew there was no way we could do it in less time. But, something told me to show him her picture anyway. As her face filled the screen, I knew at that moment that not only was I looking at our future daughter, so was Matt. So, after deliberating for several days, and contacting medical professionals as well as family who have personally dealt with club feet, we moved forward in faith that this was God’s plan for us and our family.

On August 1, 2007 we signed our application with Hand In Hand as well as our Letter of Intent for Yan Zhao Lu. On May 12, 2008 our dream finally became a reality when a tiny little girl was placed in my arms for the first time. She is known to us as Mylee Zhao Lu-Ann. She is beautiful, smart, spunky, stubborn, happy, loving, caring, strong, carefree, and so much more. But more importantly, she is a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend. She is with her forever family, right where she belongs.

I think at this time it is important to mention that Mylee may have been misdiagnosed. Before we even left China I was questioning to myself if she truly had club feet. Although she has the widest feet I have ever seen, they did not turn in or under like club feet do. As a matter of fact, Mylee has no problems walking on her feet. However, her knees and ankles do not bend when she walks therefore, when she walks, she is very stiff and wobbly. Soon after being home, we took her to our Pediatrician and he agreed with me that she probably did not have club feet, but maybe dislocated hips. He suggested we take her to a Pediatric Orthopedic surgeon at Riley Children’s Hospital in Indianapolis. Lucky for us, it is only about 2 ½ hours away. So, we took her to see a fabulous doctor that after several x-rays and a MRI, he too is concluding that she did not have club feet but possibly hyper extended knees. In other words, instead of her knees bending, they are bowed back and her muscles in her knees and ankles are so tight, they do not bend. He suggested we not do surgery and instead do a series of castings to force her muscles and knees to stretch. Over the course of six weeks, we drove Mylee down to Indianapolis every week so she could have a new cast put on. The old one was taken off, and as the doctor manually stretched and bent her knees and ankles, they were casted in that position. Mylee had a total of six casts over the summer and by her sixth one, her doctor was very pleased that she was almost at a 90 degree bend. So, once the last cast was removed, we were able to start with physical therapy three times a week. This has gone on since September and once a month we take Mylee back down for a check up. Unfortunately at her January checkup, we did not get the news we were hoping for. Mylee has not made anymore progress with the degree of her bend since November. So, at that point, it was determined that the only way to really be able to get her knees to bend would be to try surgery.

In February of 2009, Mylee had surgery on both of her legs. Her doctor cut both heel cord tendons, stretched them and sewed them back together. He did the same thing to the main muscles in her knees as well. After the surgery she was put back in casts for six weeks. Two weeks after her surgery, she had to go back to the hospital to have the casts taken off so the doctor could stretch her muscles some more. This was all done while she was sedated because of the amount of pain that would be involved. She was able to leave the hospital the same day and has since been doing very well. She is currently in straight legs casts and is encouraged to walk which she is having no problems with.

I would like to mention that after Mylee’s surgery, her doctor came out to give us an update. He started off by saying that everything went really well, but that Mylee has “the weirdest anatomy he has ever seen.” Apparently she is missing muscles in her legs, and where she does have some muscles, they are in the wrong place or have drooped. He said that he has never seen anything like it before and that if he had to giver her a diagnosis, he would say that she had a very rare form of Arthrogryposis. But even then, he is not 100% sure that is what she has. He did say that it was something she was born with and that during the time that her muscles should have formed, for whatever reason, hers did not.

Soon after returning home from the hospital, I was looking around on the No Hands But Our site and came across some information on Arthrogryposis and was certain that this is in fact what Mylee has. Her doctor is very optimistic in that Mylee will continue to walk, she just may not walk “normal.” The important thing is that she WILL walk, she WILL dance, and she WILL run, and she WILL do everything that any other child is doing, she will just learn to do it in her own way. With all of that being said, Mylee’s orthopedic issues are a little more than we thought we could handle, but I am a firm believer in we are only given what we can handle.

Mylee has only been with us for about ten months, and in that time she has gone through more changes than most people go through in a lifetime. She has left the only place she has ever known, traveled half way around the world, learned a new language, became part of a family, and endured many medical procedures. She has had x-rays, an MRI (sedated), nine or ten sets of casts, therapy, and surgery. Mylee has blossomed and thrived through every obstacle she has tackled. And she has done so with such a brave spirit. I pray that the Lord will continue to allow her to thrive. We are blessed beyond measure to have Mylee as our daughter and sister. I thank God every day for entrusting her to our family.

We did not set out on this journey as a rescue mission. However, that is exactly what we have done. We have rescued a beautiful little girl from the possibility of growing up in an institution without ever truly knowing what love is. Yes, there is the possibility that she may not walk “normal,” or that she may need more surgeries and therapy, but the important thing is that she will grow up with the love and safety of a family. I also hope that our other children learn that every child regardless of medical disabilities, or special needs are just as deserving of love as a “normal” child. I look at this journey as us not choosing her, but God having enough faith and assurance in us, that He chose us to be her “forever family.”

We have been asked several times if we would suggest special needs adoption, or if it is something we would consider doing again. To answer the first part, yes, we would definitely suggest special needs adoption. As for adopting again from the special needs program, you will have to follow our blog for more on that….

Our family blog is here.

Tia

2009-03-25T08:16:00.001-07:00

by Ellie, mom to Tia from China with VSD

If you would have told us 3 or 4 years ago that we would choose a special needs adoption I can guarantee you we would have said NO WAY! You see before we began our adoption journey we had two healthy biological children and had chosen not to have any more - partly because we didn't want to take the risk that our next child would not be healthy. We were a very happy and very typical American family. In 2002 we returned from a 6 month job posting in Eastern Europe where we saw first hand the poverty and hopelessness of that part of the world. Add that to the fact that I had a great desire to add another little girl to our family, and we felt God was calling us to begin the adoption process. We felt led to Romania and we were matched with a gorgeous baby girl in January of 2003. Unfortunately, our adoption was put on hold while Romania reworked their laws. Our hearts were breaking. As we waited we began to sense that perhaps there was a little boy for us in Eastern Europe. In 2004 we adopted our then 19 month old son from Ukraine. When we met and brought home Elijah we thought he was perfectly healthy, however as time went on we became concerned that he was not developing speech. We were heartbroken for him, and for ourselves when we discovered before his third birthday that he has a neurologically based speech disorder. Our beautiful son would need years and years of therapy just to learn how to talk. Our perfect little world changed for us at that time. We were destined for so much more than just being what we thought was the perfect family. Our son worked really hard to learn to speak and over the past 4 years has totally surprised and amazed us with his progress. It is a sobering reality when we think that Elijah would never have learned to talk in an orphanage in Ukraine. This was not the path we would have chosen for our life, for him or for ourselves however we feel incredibly blessed that our lives were destined for so much more! Elijah was meant to be our son and we were meant to be his family.

The doors to our little Romanian Princess closed completely in January of 2005 when Romania outlawed International Adoption with no grandfather clause. How we grieved the loss of the opportunity to adopt the precious little girl we thought would be our daughter. We kept busy with our three children and Elijah continued to progress after he started preschool in the special school district. In 2006 my husband's job took us to Australia and it seemed we would remain a family of five. In February/March of 2007 We felt very settled, Elijah's speech had exploded and I became overwhelmed with a sense that we should adopt again and this time a little girl from Asia. I shared my heart with my husband and amazingly he agreed! Of course we really were only considering a non special needs child. We researched all the countries we were eligible for and eliminated those that were too complicated to adopt from while living overseas and those where the wait was too long. That meant that China, the country I wanted most to adopt from, was not an option. After considering Vietnam and settling on Taiwan I contacted the agency that we felt had the best program and requested their application.

Over the past months I had been following adoption blogs and every time I fell in love with a little girl I would find out she was from China and had a heart condition. I kept thinking that if we had known that our son would have a special need we probably would never have adopted him. We also knew that requesting non special needs did not mean we would get a child with no issues. I wondered if God was trying to tell us something? I didn't hear back from that Taiwan agency although previously they had been so quick to respond to my emails. The very next day I read a post on a Waiting Child yahoo group written by an American family living in Australia and adopting a little girl with complex medical needs. How exciting to find another American family adopting while living in Australia! We would need to go through the same process they were going through - and hadn't known quite how to proceed with a social worker, immigration and the required Australian Visa's. My new friend explained to me how their adoption was proceeding and she shared the China Waiting Child program with me. WOW - I thought my heart would burst - this was so obviously what we were meant to do - our daughter could be in China after all! Of course we have excellent insurance that would take care of any medical needs that a child would have and I had been so drawn to little girls with heart conditions! God had orchestrated this all so perfectly! After speaking to their agency we looked at their next list of waiting children, there were no little girls with heart conditions although there was one little girl who was already matched who stole our hearts. Not one other little girl spoke to us at all (and there really were some precious little girls on that list!). I wondered if this little girls family would not go through with her adoption as I could think of nothing else but her. Because of the overwhelming desire to adopt this one little girl by the time I knew for certain she was already matched I honestly did not feel I could pursue a child I did not have those same intense feelings for. I knew we would wait for the next list - perhaps our daughter would be on that list? In the meantime we got our paperwork ready and we were just waiting for our last immigration approval when the next list came out. We had asked the agency to give us a referral rather than us having to make a painful choice. If we didn't feel anything for the child referred to us there was the option to look at the other children on the list.

The day we were given our referral is one of the most amazing days of our lives. I knew after the previous experience with the list that I may not feel anything for the child and I wondered if I would know if this was our daughter? When we opened the email we saw the little girl being referred to us was just 13 months old and we had hoped for a 2 year old. She had a heart condition - a VSD (ventrical septal defect: basically a hole in her heart) - and OH MY! she was beautiful!! I was shocked at how completely this picture of this serious looking little girl in the darling red outfit stole both mine and my husband's hearts. This had to be our daughter! Immediately I wanted her so badly! Of course we knew we needed to consult a cardiologist just to see the challenges we were up against. My sister is a neonatalogist and she had a cardiologist friend who would look the paperwork over, but it would take a week or so. I didn't think I could wait and my sister just said to me: "it is not really going to matter what he says is it? You've already fallen in love with her!" and I knew it was true, this was our daughter! We proceeded with the paperwork and brought home our little Tia 6 months later. Tia couldn't be more perfect for our family. Although she had surgery before we brought her home she does still have a hole where the patch didn't quite take. The cardiologist isn't concerned and asked us not to come back to see him for another year and a half. To be honest her asthma has been more of an issue at this point than her heart. It really doesn't matter anyway because she was born to be our daughter. Sometimes I look at Tia and I see that beautiful scar and I am reminded that God created Tia's heart that way because without that heart condition she would never have been our daughter. Sometimes people tell us how lucky Tia is to be in our family however anyone that spends any time with this precious (and precocious) little g irl always tells us how lucky we are to have her as our daughter. We couldn't agree more! We finally feel our family is complete and we are so incredibly blessed!

Feel free to follow our beautiful daughter's progress on her blog.

Moriah

2009-03-21T06:48:00.000-07:00

by Amy, mother to Moriah from China with scoliosis, kyphosis, and cerebral atrophy

Our three bio children were 9, 5, and 3 when we began our adoption journey in February, 2006. We submitted an application for a NSN girl under twelve months of age. As time went on the wait increased, we discussed submitting a special needs checklist. We were living far from family and had a limited support system, so the timing just didn’t seem right. We continued to wait. Finally, in November 2007, we updated our homestudy and decided to submit a special needs checklist. Between the time that we began our homestudy and this update, we had moved close to both of our families. The time seemed right because we knew we would have a lot of support. It was hard to know which items to check. We struggled over many of them. Looking back, I am thankful that God knew exactly which special needs our special girl would have and He was brining us together.

We got the call on June 24, 2008. It was my youngest son’s birthday. “Would you like to look at the file for a little girl?” Pam asked. She mentioned her special needs: heart problem, thumb/wrist issue and cerebral atrophy. The last one really caught my attention. “What does that mean?” I asked. She wasn’t sure. The kids and I ran upstairs to open the e-mail. Staring at us was a very bundled little girl who looked a little stunned. We thought she was beautiful. I immediately called my husband and forwarded the e-mail to him. After he looked at it, I could hear him telling those around him, “Do you want to see a picture of my little girl?” We consulted several doctors, but her medical diagnosis remained fairly vague. I wavered. My husband held firm. He knew this was our daughter.

We guessed that she was in foster care because of the background of the pictures. And later learned that she was sponsored by Love Without Boundaries. Just before we came for her, she spent some time at the Swallow’s Nest, which was also a wonderful foster care situation. What a blessing she received as she was loved and cared for in these homes!

We traveled to China in September and met Zheng Mei in our hotel room in Zhengzhou, Henan. She was 19 months old. She was tiny and so beautiful. She had been asleep on the ride from the orphanage to us and looked sleepy and dazed. She went to us willingly but was very still and quiet for the first day. Slowly she warmed up and we began to see her personality. I remember watching her sleep in our hotel room and feeling amazed that this beautiful Chinese girl was really ours!

Back at home, we saw doctor after doctor. Her heart, it turns out, has healed itself. But new MRI’s revealed that she does indeed have some cerebral atrophy. There is also evidence of some kind of trauma to her head. We don’t know how it happened or what it means for her development. We will love her and stimulate her in every way we can and know that even this was part of God’s plan for her. She does have some trouble with her right thumb. It is placed on her hand in a way that limits some of its function. OT has helped quite a bit. She uses it a lot now and I am confident that it won't cause her any significant problems in her life. Interestingly, The MRI also revealed some significant issues with her back. Earlier this month, she had surgery to release a tethered cord. Some of her vertebrae are not correctly formed which is causing curvature of her spine. For now, we will watch how this progresses with frequent x-rays. It is interesting that her most significant medical issue was completely undiagnosed in China. And what seemed significant in her paperwork is not an issue.

Sometimes I think about how we would still be waiting if we hadn’t submitted that checklist. And we wouldn’t have this spunky, funny, cuddly little girl in our home. The Lord knew the plans he had for Moriah and for us, and we are so thankful for her. She is a joy to all of us. We would definitely encourage others to consider children with special needs. As several have expressed here, her greatest need was for a mom and dad. There are so many special children with needs that would be really life altering in China, but are quite treatable and manageable here. We are humbled to have been entrusted with this precious little one.

You can follow our adventure here.

Tim

2009-03-15T19:52:00.000-07:00

by Darlene, mom to Tim from China adopted as an older child

Trust God Completely (Proverbs 3:5,6)

Our story began in the fall of 2004. God had started to nudge my heart about adoption through circumstances that took place during this time. It seemed that I wanted to make sure He was leading me in this direction, but every time I would doubt his leading, he would affirm it again to me. In February of 2005, I saw Mary Beth Chapman on a television program where she was sharing her adoption story about Maria. I think this was the first time tears had come to my eyes, and I just broke down and cried after hearing about the Chapman’s story. Two months later I shared with my husband about how I felt God was leading me into adoption.

Then the next year on Valentine’s Day 2006, my husband of 15 yrs, gave me a card and he signed it, “yes, I do”. This was his answer to me for starting the adoption process! In May of 2006, we applied with CCAI in the traditional program as well as the Special Needs Program with stating we would accept a boy or girl up to age 3.

In June of 2007, we updated our Special Needs Medical Conditions Checklist and upped the age to age 6. Our son was almost 8 and felt we could welcome an older child. Some circumstances took place in regard to our checklist we had submitted, and we claimed Proverbs 3:5, 6 “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths”. We had waited so long, and in July and August we gave much thought and prayer to whether or not we should withdraw from the Waiting Child Program.

One day in early September 2007, my 8 yr. old son said “I wish I had a twin brother”. Two days later I received an email from our agency asking us if we wanted to review a file of Guo Tai from Dalian. He had just turned 7 yrs old on August 30th. We accepted the referral a few days later, and since that time, our lives have been forever changed! My son’s wish had come true, as he is 14 months older than Tim.

During the time we were waiting to travel to China, I found a red thread. Timmy’s birth date was the same date as Nate Saint, a missionary who was martyred in the Amazon jungles of Ecuador in 1956. His adoption day is the same date as Nate’s death, January 8th. Nate Saint and his family stories have been very dear to me since my teen years, and I consider him a spiritual hero. This was a special affirmation to me from God.

The day we first met Tim, a favorite nanny had come along with him. When it was time to leave, he did not want to go with us. He was lying on the floor, yelling and crying, and in a frozen state. He was repeating his nanny’s name over and over yelling for her as we picked him up to leave. She had just hugged him and said her goodbyes. It was the most gut wrenching experience I have ever experienced, and it brought a wave of emotion over me and my husband. Were we doing the right thing for this boy, taking him away from the woman he loved so dearly? Tim did not calm down for 30 minutes. At one point in the taxi, he almost vomited because of intense emotion. Finally back at the motel, with Sophie our wonderful CCAI guide, he calmed down and did not cry for her again. On the other side of this, we knew he could bond to people and knew it would be easier for us to bond to him later on.

Tim met his new brother and sister when we arrived back home. He seemed to be in the “hyper mode” those first few days home as he was learning about his new home and family. At times, we felt we had a 4 or 5 yr old son those first few months. He had some meltdowns when he became frustrated, but they became less frequent. The first question asked of us when we told our friends and family that we were adopting a 7 yr old Chinese boy was “does he know English?” There was a language barrier in the first several months but after that, language has not been an issue. We used an electronic translator, BBK AM 101 for the first few months and didn’t need it after that time. He is a language sponge and a very good reader. He enjoys school. This year his teachers are amazed at his reading ability. If you are considering an older child, please don’t allow language to be an obstacle. Talk to other parents who have adopted older children. Our biological children did not know how to speak English for at least two years!

Tim’s transition into our family had some bumps in the road the first few months home. We were told this was to be expected. I think this is normal for a 7 yr old or a 7 month old. Each child is different, and we can’t know for certain how things will be until we experience them for ourselves. He has his own personality and life experiences prior to coming into our family. It amazes me how fearless he is in new situations and his flexibility of trying to “fit in” with other children and adults and wanting to be accepted. I know that God has given him the grace he needs to be able to adjust to a new family, country, culture, food, friends, and school. Imagine if we were to go live with another family in China and be told we were leaving in a few months or weeks. How flexible could we be to our new family and surroundings?

Something special about adopting an older child is that they have some memories to share with you regarding their life in China. There are a lot of “firsts” I didn’t experience with him that I did with my biological children. But, there was many firsts like learning to ride a bike or swim. He’d never been on a bike and had been swimming only once. He loves baseball and sports too, so this year he is playing baseball. He is also learning to play the guitar. He loves music and singing in the children’s choir at church. He loves to give hugs in the morning when I am cooking breakfast. I haven’t lost one night’s sleep since we’ve had him, but lost plenty of it with his brother and sister!

Looking back on the first day we met him, he’s come a long way from not wanting to leave his nanny to bonding with us and his brother and sister. He seems very content with us now. It takes time. God has been with us and directed us as He promised.

Tim was considered “healthy” on his referral. When we were in China we had questions about an undisclosed medical condition that was confirmed when he saw the pediatrician. Since then, the condition has resolved on it's own, thank God.

I have asked our agency, CCAI, for permission to share some statistics from the agency regarding older children and boys. CCAI has matched over 8,200 children, with only 10% being over the age of 3. Of those 8,200 children, only 5% were boys, but the number continues to increase. CCAI represents 8-12% of the total number of Chinese children being adopted in the US.

Apart from my son’s undisclosed medical condition, I feel his special need was he was a boy over the age of 3 years old. Perhaps some of these older children have seen families come and go in and out the door with babies and toddlers that many of them have helped take care of, as Tim has told me he helped care for the younger ones. They must feel the cold reality of rejection each time the little ones go out the door into their families and they remain standing alone, no one to hug, and ask themselves as they cry silently “ what is wrong with me, why not me?" I pray Tim’s story will help these children join the younger ones, because I know I am glad we considered an older boy. God has blessed us.

Our blog for Timmy’s adoption and life afterwards can be found here.

Hope

2009-03-10T04:09:00.000-07:00

by Kim, mom to Hope from China with a SN of congenital blindness

A few years ago, our 6 year old daughter Abigail heard about the orphans in China. How little girls are routinely abandoned, and it rocked her world. She couldn't stop talking about it, and one day she declared that when she grows up, she would adopt a baby from China. She decided to start saving up her money when she heard that adoptions are very expensive. She took it so seriously that she saved up every dollar she earned from birthdays, Christmas, allowance, etc for an entire year. She saved up $400 that year, and really inspired us with her determination. In the meantime, the Lord began working on my heart. One day, as I was walking our dog, I began to pray and ask Him to show me what was on His heart. I instantly saw an orphan in my minds eye. She was a little girl, dirty, abandoned and sitting all alone on a savannah. I knew instantly that the Lord was trying to show me His great love for the orphans. That He thinks about them, they are on His heart. Well, when you know Him and how awesome He is, then you definitely want what is on His heart to be on your heart! :) So I began to pray that He would show me more, show me what He wanted me to do, etc. About a week later, on Abigail's birthday, I suddenly had the realization that we were to adopt a child from China. I don't know how I knew, except that we were driving to her birthday lunch, and it was like I had a profound revelation of it. It seemed so odd, yet so familiar at the same time. Like all my life, He had been preparing me for this very thing, yet I never realized it until now. I spoke to my husband about it, and he wasn't on board at all. After all, we already had 3 children, and were not financially well off. He had a lot of concerns, and didn't feel any kind of pull to the whole thing. Our kids and I would pray every day for God to change his heart. We all knew that we knew that this was meant to be for our family. Slowly but surely, my husband caught the fire, and came on board. He still wasn't very enthusiastic, but he agreed to start the process.

One day after church, we were driving home talking about things concerning the adoption. My son, Jonathan, who was in the very back of the car suddenly blurted out, "Mom! I just heard the words CHING HOW in my head!!" We thought that maybe it was some sort of sign from God about our adoption, since the words actually sounded like Chinese words. We went home and looked it up, but couldn't figure out how to spell it. We thought maybe it was the name of a city in China, or something that would give us a clue on how to identify our daughter. At that point, we knew that we wanted a waiting child, because the thought of a child not only orphaned, but with a special need but without a mommy to love her, just made me sick. I really wanted to be a mommy for someone who really needed help in this life, and felt led to walk the special needs route. We were open to super correctable special needs, though and were hoping for something minor.

A couple of weeks later, I received an email from a friend in Tennessee. She said that there was a little girl in China whose file was about to be sent back because nobody had expressed interest in adopting her. She asked if we would be interested. The little girl's need said, "Congenital Blindness". I was instantly filled with fear. The thought of a little blind girl being turned away for adoption made me so sad. But could I actually parent a blind child? It sounded SO hard, and I really struggled. I had this really strange feeling inside. It was as if this girl was already my daughter. But it wasn't something that I would have ever ever chosen as a special need I could handle. I spent a few moments by the computer, struggling. I was hoping for something like a repaired cleft lip, or a birthmark. I would even be open at that point to missing limbs, etc. But blind? It sounded terrifying. I decided to email her back right then and there, without ever telling the rest of the family about her. It made me sick to even write the letter, but I said no thank you. I had a deep sense of regret after I sent the email, but I tried to forget about it. A few weeks went by. Then we got an email that would change our life. It was addressed to my husband and I and was from a friend in Kansas City, who doesn't know our friend in Tennessee. She said that she got an email from an adoption advocate in Ohio, about a little blind girl in China, and she felt strongly like she should forward this email to us. I read the little description, and I knew it was the same girl who came into my inbox a few weeks before. My daughter. My heart started to race. Just then, my husband asked me if I received the email. I said yes. Up to this point, he had been very unemotional concerning adopting. He was mainly doing it because of the passion he saw from the rest of us, and from praying, he knew that it was God's heart. But he didn't feel anything, and to be honest, wasn't very excited. I asked him, "What did you think of the email?" He looked straight at me and said, "That's our daughter." I was rocked. What? My husband who was a little skeptical at first about adopting a special needs child, was now saying this blind girl was our daughter. We stared at eachother. I said, "But shes blind. That sounds so scary." He said that it didnt matter. That this girl was special, he just KNEW it, and that God would help us to raise her. I was FREAKING out inside. I went through the next 24 hours in a state of mental anguish. I had to release a lot of fears and concerns to the Lord. First of all, we are a homeschooling family. How would I know how to teach her? I don't even know Braille, etc. I felt totally unprepared for her need, I had no information about raising a blind child, and it seemed way too overwhelming to find out. I had to deal with a lot of things, also just grieving the fact that I really am a visual person, and love making eye contact with my children. I couldn't imagine not being able to make eye contact with my daughter. I struggled, and prayed, and struggled some more. My husband was set. He knew that he knew. It didn't matter to him at all that she was blind. I was rocked by him. I couldn't believe it. Just the week before, I was crying to my friends that my hubby didn't seem that on board with the adoption, and here he was absolutely madly in love with a blind child. It was amazing. I laid down on the living room floor, and said to the Lord, that if this was really Him, then I would lay down my life for this little girl, and lay down my fears, etc. We sent an email to her agency, requesting her file. It was 6pm by that time, so we had to wait 'til the next morning. I spent the night tossing and turning, and the next morning I went on a walk with our dog. I wrestled with the Lord some more in prayer. I finally said, "God, you know this is so huge. I need another sign this is You. It's so life changing. Please. If this is You, please let her name be CHING HOW" (the name my son heard in the car) I felt so strange telling the Lord that. It felt so immature, but I was desperate for a clear, clear confirmation. Well, I got home from my walk, and went to check my emails. There was an email from the agency. There was her file. I opened it. Up on top, was her name in Chinese letters. Underneath her name, it said, "pronounciation: CHING LEE HOW" I was stunned. I read it again. Ching Lee How. The moment was one of the most surreal moments in my life. It was like time stood still. I picked up the phone and called my husband at work. "Her name is Ching How" I blurted out once he said hello. And then I burst into tears, and sobbed and sobbed. God was so good. He knew this was so hard, and He made a way for me to know, so that I would never doubt it again.

The next few months were frantic paperchasing. Once I knew this was the Lord, I was filled with so much love for this little girl, and my fears were fading away. We paperchased so fast, and got the dossier in within a matter of 3 months, starting from scratch. The China end of things wasn't so quick, and we ended up waiting 120 days for our LOA. But we hung on and persevered. Plus, when we started the adoption, we literally only had $50 in our bank account with no savings, nothing to fall back on. We had to trust the Lord to raise every single penny for this adoption. So we busied ourselves with fundraisers, and met a lot of amazing people along the way. On the day we left for China, we still needed $4000. We decided to trust the Lord, and start on our way to the airport, knowing full well that we needed to bring $6000 in cash to China, but knowing that we only had $2000 in our wallet. We were panicked, but at that point, when your plane is leaving in a matter of hours, all you can do is put one foot in front of the other, and trust that God will work it out. Well, our friends were having a little prayer meeting for us before we took off for China. We got there at 7pm. At that point, all the banks were closed, and even if someone were to hand us a check, it wouldn't have really mattered, because we needed everything in cash. We got to the meeting, and everyone gathered around. They asked how we were doing and what they could pray for. I basically said that I wanted wisdom to know what the right thing to do would be.... should we continue on the flight knowing we didn't have all the money going to a foreign country, etc. or should we cancel and wait until we raise the money. Someone in the group asked how much we needed. I said, "$4,000." It seemed so crazy, that is so much money! But he looked at me square in the eyes, and said hold on. He went in the other room, came out, and handed me 4k in cash. He said that he owns a property by the beach, that he rents out. His tenant happened to drop by A WEEK EARLY to pay his rent because he was going out of town. He said this has never happened before, but the tenant paid him in ALL CASH. it was $4,000 exactly. We were floored. We felt so bad taking $4,000 from someone. After all, he needed the money to pay the mortgage on his property! But he kept insisting, and they all sent us off to China. The next morning, our friend got 2 random checks in the mail. They were both for work he had done years ago (he's an actor) and he was completely not expecting. One check was for $1200, and the other one was for $2800, totaling $4,000. God is so faithful!!!!

When we went to China, it was an amazing experience. We all fell right in love with this little bundle of joy. She was very scared, and although she was super cuddly and wonderful, she also would go from giving a kiss to head bonking our jaws really hard, or trying to choke us. Or socking us in the head. It was really painful! I cried many a tear from sheer pain in China! I could tell she so much wanted to let go and receive the love, but there was so much hurt underneath it all. Imagine not being able to see or understand the language your new family is speaking. She was scared. Slowly but surely, the aggressive behavior began to subside, and she began to relax and have fun with us. She loved to giggle, and loved being swung around by daddy. She loved going swimming, and was totally fearless of the water. Our time in China was a bonding experience for our family. It was wonderful, amazing, totally hard, and draining. I cherish every memory of it.

Now we have been home with her for 9 months. It hasn't been scary like I thought it would be at all. She's my daughter. I love her so much. I can't imagine life without her, and I can't stand to think of what would have happened to her if she had remained in China. In China, there aren't a lot of opportunities for the blind. I have heard that the only options the blind have are becoming a masseuse, a potter, a beggar, or living in a retirement home for the rest of their lives. I'm so glad that we brought her home, and are able to give her amazing opportunities that will help her become anything she desires to be. Most of all, I'm glad that she has found the love of a family. She is such a wonderful person. Talented. She really is attracted to musical instruments and I wonder if she will one day be a pianist, or a violin player. Whatever interests develop, I'm confident that there will be resources here to help her succeed at whatever she hopes to do.

Although I homeschool my other children, at this point, she attends an awesome place called the Blind Children's Learning Center. She receives physical therapy, occupational therapy, orientation and mobility, and speech. She was very delayed in a lot of areas, and is slowly but surely catching up. Her aggression has subsided quite a lot. It's still there, and comes out in moments of stress, but its not at all like it was during our first few weeks together. I have found that she really craves and needs routine, and does really well going to school because she knows exactly what is coming next, etc. She is starting to thrive, and its so exciting to watch her progress every day. I'm so thankful to God for leading our family to her. It has been hard, but it is always worth it.

Now suddenly, my heart is being pulled to adopt again. My husband said he would have to know its God to add a 5th child to our family. I can't stop thinking about the Chinese orphans, and am feeling pulled, pulled, pulled back to China. We'll see what happens!

Bethany

2009-03-08T05:55:00.000-07:00

by Tamera, mom to Bethany from China with a limb difference

Preparing for Special Needs Adoption

Adopting several children from China has been filled a joy-filled, faith-building, abundant adventure. We have four biological children and feel as though we are experienced parents. However, sometimes even experienced parents can find that they are not adequately prepared for some issues. During November of 2006, we decided that we would pursue a special needs child on a waiting child list. Our agency diligently prepared us for parenting a child with special needs. Our adopted daughter was born with a congenital right limb transverse deficiency. This is a lot of medical jargon to say that her right arm ends 3 inches above where her elbow would have been. She has one little partial digit on that limb. While preparing for her adoption, I read about limb differences and I considered the challenges we may face as a family. I prepared for the possibilities of surgery and maybe prosthetics. I learned the proper, politically correct terminology for limb differences and prepared my children at home for the difference they would see in their new sister.

I was very pleased with the amount of preparation that went into the adoption of a special need child. However, once she was placed in my arms and I began to watch this little girl unfold, I realized that there were some serious issues that we were not prepared for. In fact, I am pretty certain that these issues were not ever once disclaimed to me or my husband by any social worker.

Here is a list of items that no social worker ever prepared us for:

1. No one ever told us that when we had our adopted “special needs” daughter evaluated by an occupational therapist, that she would be 6-months ahead of her typically developing two-armed peers in motor development

2. No one ever told me that at age 2, she would figure out how to climb to the top of a bunk bed with her one arm just to admire her brother’s trophies on a high shelf.

3. No one ever told me that she would be only 19 pounds but have the desire, tenacity, and strength of a Super Bowl bound football team.

4. No one ever told me that in one short year of knowing her I would learn more about not giving up than I had in all of my lifetime.

5. No one ever told me that her older brothers would be so touched by the beauty that she emits even with her “imperfect” arm that they would tell her everyday how beautiful she is.

6. No one ever told me that she would touch the lives of total strangers with her genuine zest for life.

7. No one ever told me that a 2-year-old from China would be so grateful for pretty clothes and a family to call her own.

8. No one ever told me that our “special needs” daughter would learn to balance on a regular swing and pump her legs earlier than any of our “non-special needs” kiddos did.

9. No one ever told me that our daughter was just a regular child disguised as a “special needs” child because her arm is a little different.

10. No one ever told me that when our family stepped out in faith thinking we would make a difference in this little girl’s life, that we would be the ones whose lives were changed and were blessed beyond measure in just knowing this little fire cracker whom we call Bethany Grace.

If you are reading this and you are a family that is considering a “special needs” adoption, I just want to warn you that there are some things that no one may ever prepare you for. There are some hidden blessings and unexpected pleasures that you may find as a surprise. And just for the record, I have gotten over the fact that our social worker did not prepare us for the above mentioned items.

Read more of Bethany's story here.

Ally and Alaina

2009-03-06T04:11:00.000-08:00

by Lucy, mom to Ally and Alaina from China with heart defects

We began our adoption process like most families - waiting for a NSN "healthy" child. We never even considered ANY SN at the beginning. Early in our "wait" I began looking at children on the Waiting Child list, but was always scared away for various reasons. Each time our agency got a list, I would look. We requested a few files and once were not "chosen". That was about more than I could take. I convinced myself just to continue waiting (even though the wait was getting longer, and longer).

In late April of 2007, we got an email from our agency to let us know that they would be posting a new WC list that evening. We talked about it and decided to "just look". I wasn't even that excited about the list, because I was guarding my heart not to get excited and/or disappointed... again.

There were 10 children on the list. We looked at each description of the children without looking at the pictures. We figured we needed to consider the NEED of each child before we were sold on a cute face! Based on the needs listed, there were about 3 or 4 we felt we could handle. #8 caught our eye - she had a heart problem. That was very scary to us - you know, it was one of the 'big 3' (heart, brain, spine) and that terrified me. We emailed our agency immediately and requested the meds on little girl #8.

Upon doing further research, we found that her heart condition (PDA) was very common in preemies everywhere and usually required no treatments or had any limitations. So, maybe! But we had to wait. Finally, the call came that WE had been selected to be her parents. This was in mid-May and we met our new little girl on July 15 (just 2 months later) on a HOT day in Xian. Everything went very quickly once we found her because our paperwork had been in China for 15 months (already thru the NSN review room).

Her name is Ally and she has been with our family for 18 months. We visited the cardiologist 2 times and she was dismissed. Her PDA had spontaneously closed - gone, no longer an issue or concern! Praise God!

Our second heart daughter from China came to us in a different way. We went looking for her. We decided that we wanted an "older child" (5 - 7 years old) and we were comfortable with minor heart conditions and open to other SNs. We found her in late April of 2008 on an agency list. She too was a heart baby but she had already had surgery for her VSD in China when she was a baby. She was 5 years old.

We began our paperwork AGAIN. Fortunately, some of our documents (USCIS) were still valid, or maybe we slipped through a loop-hole in some of their transitions. Anyway, we worked to get our dossier to China and pushed our way thru to be one of the first families to travel (late Dec 2008) under the new 800 Hague regulations.

We have been home with Alaina for a month. She is now 6 years old and loving Kindergarten. We were somewhat unsure what we would face bringing an "older child" inot our family, but she has adjusted beautifully! She is such a happy girl. We haven't gotten to the heart doctor yet (insurance delays with work), but she is full of energy. She is, however, very tiny.

When we started our first adoption, we NEVER imagined that we would travel back to China just a year and a half later for a 6 year old. Looking back I know when God put Alaina in our hearts - it was when we visited Ally's orphanage. Seeing those children (all SN of some type) -- seeing them in person. There they are. Right there. With no one. WOW - it took my breath away, and still does. We knew that if we could, we would have to adopt again. God put us right there - where they were - we had to do something.

Mya Jian

2009-03-04T04:29:00.000-08:00

by Sara, mom to Mya Jian from China with ASD & VSD

"Without it she wouldn't be ours."

Her scar. Her badge of survival and hope. The 6" line that runs the length of her chest. It's unevenness & healed broken rib, a forever reminder. Without it, she wouldn't be ours.

I dreamed about a baby. A baby with dark brown hair & brown eyes, that had rosy cheeks and would laugh when I picked her up. A healthy baby. A baby that would eat cheerios and needed her diaper changed. A baby that needed me.

We began our adoption paperwork in October 2006, with this is mind. We were LID in April 2007 and by September, we had filled out the medical conditions checklist asking to be considered for a special needs child. We were always open to special needs, but we still wanted that baby! We weren't open to any older than a 2 year old for the next 6 months or so – when God began to work on my heart.

Early summer 2008 we changed our medical conditions checklist to be open to a child older than 2. As God's sweet providence is often displayed, in July 2008, we received the call for a little girl who was 2.5 with repaired ASD and VSD.

I was fearful of her heart condition, her age. I was fearful of what the doctors told me about the size of the hole in her heart. I was fearful if I stepped out of the boat, I would fall.

But we felt God whisper to us, "I know her. She is yours."

Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart…."

We quickly accepted the referral of a little girl who we prayerfully hoped was "as healthy as possible" and read every thing we could about toddler adoption & attachment and bonding & researched the potential medical conditions she could have as a result of having lived so long with a large hole in her heart.

After being home with our new three old for almost 6 weeks, I couldn't see it any other way. Our laughing, chatting, potty trained toddler is a dream come true. Her growth is amazing, and she is very healthy. She is full of zest & life and happiness! I am so thankful that God opened our hearts to a toddler, especially a special needs toddler. After all, her greatest special need was she needed a Mama and a Baba.

Sometimes God calls us to reach beyond comfortable for something extraordinary. Something that will leave us forever changed. Something that will make us more like Him. It seems strange to be thankful that our daughter was born sick. It feels overwhelming to praise Our Heavenly Father for her heart condition. But without it, she wouldn't be ours.

You can see our beautiful daughter grow with her new family here.

Sarah Pearl

2009-03-02T04:46:00.000-08:00

by Julia, mom to Sarah Pearl from China with cleft lip and palate

Once upon a time, there was a baby girl with a cleft lip and palate, named Guan Yan Nan. Living in an orphanage in a Southern Province of China, she did not know there was a woman living in another land, who had been busy raising 4 other children, who was longing to come and wrap this baby in her arms and bring her little one home to stay. There was never a doubt in my mind, not to adopt a child with special needs. God had provided me with much experience and a variety of special needs children through parenting as well as teaching. Life being what it is, had shown me that it was the relationship with the child, not any particular label, that indeed made the difference. Guan Yan Nan, who came to be known as SarahPearl, was almost 2 when her Mama arrived at the Office of Civil Affairs with her 2 older daughters. She had the most exquisite eyes that solemnly stared at us. We looked so different from her! SarahPearl had her lip repaired in China when she was 11 months old. She was a tiny girl and surgery had to wait until she reached 10 lbs. The lip repair was successful and she has had many compliments on it from professionals as well as people who meet her passing by.

In China, I began to wonder about a hearing loss. She did not respond to our voices, which could be attributed to the language barrier. Upon visiting the Social Welfare Institute, around familiar Chinese speaking adults, she did not respond either. When we returned to The U.S, her hearing was evaluated and showed moderate to severe loss. We began to intently teach her sign language through videos and daily use. Fortunately ear vents were placed and slowly we could see an improvement in her hearing! Answered prayer! She had her palate repaired, 2 months after our return. Unfortunately, the rare complication of her airway closing arose and she had to be in ICU for a couple of days. She will have lots of dental work in her future and a couple of more surgeries on her palate and nose. She has had the benefit of a wonderful Early Intervention team. She has had some feeding issues, but has now gained weight steadily. She has speech therapy and will continue for years because of articulation and resonance. She learned hundreds of words in sign language and signs in her sleep! I will watch her as she sleeps and her little hands busily sign library, Mama, and boots! She must be dreaming about her favorite things! SarahPearl continues to add new words to her spoken vocabulary daily. Her first 4 word sentence was “I love my Mama!” She wasn’t walking when we were in China, and quickly, with experience has made great gains in her motor skills. She will continue to receive Physical Therapy, for some hip problems. Her progress is remarkable! She was very delayed in all areas of development and I had thought many of the sensory difficulties would be resolved in 6 months. They continue to hinder participation in some activities, but with the addition of a brushing program, we have seen changes! SarahPearl is sweet and eager to please. She is an observer, quiet, sensitive, and cautious until she is comfortable in a situation. Then she is a girl who can really have fun and run and play with the rest of them!

The hand of God was always there for both of us. It was His plan for her to be in our family and He gives me Faith that He will meet our needs. I am forever grateful. She is one of the best things I have done with my life!

Family blog
Travel journal

David

2009-02-27T05:11:00.000-08:00

by Mara and Kevin, parents to David from China with cleft lip/palate and hypospadias

Kevin and I knew before we were married that we might not be able to have biological children, so we had talked about adoption for years before we started the process in September 2006. Even then, we thought about a special needs adoption but decided that for our first child, we would go the NSN route. As the months dragged on and the wait to adopt from China became longer and more unpredictable, we had frequent discussions about switching to China's Waiting Child Program. In November 2007, we attended a conference held by our agency, including a small group session with parents who had adopted special needs children. When we got home, we filled out the application for the SN program and 10 days later we got a call about a little boy with a cleft lip (already repaired) and complete unilateral cleft palate. It had happened so fast. We were ecstatic and terrified. We took our time reviewing his file with doctors. We agonized over whether this was the right decision for us and for the cute little boy in the pictures we had received. We wondered if the medical information was accurate. In the end, we both knew that he was supposed to be our son.

In May 2008, we brought David home, and I can't imagine having any other child but him. He is healthy and happy. He dances to the music of Beyonce (and don't try to play something different for him!) and helps make dinner in the evenings. He chases our dogs and kisses them night-night at bedtime. He romps with the other kids on the block and drinks disgusting amounts of bath water every night in the tub. He is the sun and the moon and the stars, and every day my husband and I marvel at what a blessing he is.

As it turns out, his medical file wasn't 100% accurate, but all children come with a few surprises. His cleft palate is much less severe than documented, so he won't need another surgery until he is 6. He did, however, have a hypospadias that we did not know about. It was repaired in January, and the surgery only kept David down as long as it took the anesthsia to wear off. We went into the hospital one morning at 7:30, were home by 3:00; and he was running laps through our house by 5:30 that evening.

David has brought so much joy to me, my husband and our families. When I see him I do not see my adopted son or my Chinese son, and I certainly don't see a child with special needs. He is my son, and I cannot imagine life without him.

Feel free to visit our family blog here.

Candace

2009-02-25T04:50:00.000-08:00

by Laine, mom to Candace from China with bilateral microtia/atresia

Older Child Adoption (and out of birth order, too!)

After experiencing toddler adoption (two at one time!), my husband and I felt the call again from the Lord to adopt... only this time He called us to an eight year old girl who has bi-lateral microtia/atresia.

We saw her picture on an agency’s individual list of children. This was right before the shared list became the primary way families are matched with children. We knew without a shadow of a doubt she was our daughter. We also knew we had no experience in older child adoption, and we would be adopting out of birth order. This child would fall right smack dab in the middle of our other six children. But, walking by faith and not by sight, we sent in our LOI for Candace in February, 2008. Honestly, we went into this adoption with much fear and trepidation. We had such confirmation from the Lord that we were walking in His will, but our hearts were scared to death of bringing home a child who had been with the same foster family for eight years. I know - that doesn’t sound very trusting does it? Regardless, we received our PA for Candace in May with a great big sigh of relief and a big THANK YOU JESUS!

But that fear was still in my heart. I was scared to death to adopt an older child. I read the book “Our Own” which will totally prepare anyone for all the possibilities with older child adoption. I hunted down other families who adopted older children and asked them to give it to me straight. I wanted to hear the good, bad, and the ugly. I wanted to be prepared! I heard how older children can reject you, run away from you in public, "parent shop" to find nicer parents, and exhibit awful and annoying behaviors in their grief. All through these months of preparation, the Lord spoke to me reassuring me this was His will! Basically He said “I know you’re afraid, just do it afraid!” I prayed fervently for God to prepare her heart, prepare OUR hearts for what may come.

We traveled to China in October, 2008 to finally meet our daughter. When we landed in Beijing the fear was at its highest level. Part of me just wanted to get back on a plane and fly back home. Thankfully, my husband reminded me of all of God’s promises and how Candace was meant for us. And God gently reminded me of Abraham and Sarah. How Sarah must have wanted to go back home when Abraham moved them to an unknown place! But she obeyed. She did it. Even if she was afraid.

We landed in our province and eight hours later we met our daughter. We were prepared for the tears, the anger, and the deep sadness. Candace walked into our hotel lobby grinning from ear to ear, and she hasn’t stopped since! All those behaviors I was prepared for… they never happened! At least not to the intensity I thought they would. She attached immediately to me and my husband and our six other children. Candace does grieve over this loss, she cries at times, but she is very easily comforted. She has an easy going personality, yes. But I also know the Lord moved in her heart to prepare her for our family. It feels like she has always been with us! She fits seamlessly into our family, praise the Lord! When asked if we would adopt an older child again, our reply is “YES! IN A HEARTBEAT!”

Candace’s special need, as stated before, is bi-lateral microtia/atresia. She had one surgery in China at the age of four. The surgeons attempted to create a canal, but it closed back up. When we met her, her ear was draining an odorous fluid. We brought her home and had her hearing evaluated. She has severe hearing loss in both ears. When they put a BAHA headband on her, she passed the hearing test! This is because her hearing bones are intact, she just lacks ear canals and ear drums. Two months after arriving home our surgeon opened her canal back up, and also placed a BAHA screw. When this heals, she will wear a little hearing aid device right behind her left ear. We are waiting before we decide to do surgery on the other ear. We are also consulting with a plastic surgeon about reconstructing her outer ears. Candace has another special need that was not noted in her paperwork. She is not growing properly, probably due to malnutrition for so long a period. We will be seeing an endocrinologist February, 2009 for further testing. She is SO tiny, but her smile can light up a room!

In many ways, adopting an older child has been a lot easier than adopting toddlers. First, it is less physically exhausting as you are not running around making sure a toddler is not getting into every little thing! Second, Candace is a great sleeper. That makes for a happy child and a happy mama! Third, Candace is a very sensible child. She is so responsible and gets along really well with her siblings. Adopting out of birth order has not disrupted the flow of our family life; it has enhanced it!

In other ways, adopting an older child has been harder. First, I grieve over the years I missed seeing her grow up. I have to make myself stop thinking about all the lost times, and instead be thankful that she is with us NOW. I focus on all the future memories we will make! Second, it is more difficult to bring in a child who has a set personality and is set in her ways. Younger children you obviously have more time to shape and mold their little lives. Third, because of the longer period that Candace was in China, the language barrier feels like it is as big as the ocean. As of this writing Candace has been home three months, and the language is coming very slowly. We know her hearing loss has a lot to do with this. I was not prepared for the language issue. Everything I read and heard made it seem like other older adopted children caught on so quickly. Not so with us. But then, three months of English compared to eight years of Chinese… we’re still in the beginning stages!

I have written about the differences in our experience of adopting an older child and adopting toddlers, but please do not let what I write sway you in one direction or the other! There are positives and negatives to every situation in life. I am just sharing what we experienced. Your experience could be completely different. I trust that if you are making the decision to adopt, the Lord will lead you to exactly the perfect son or daughter for your family. And remember, if you’re afraid... just do it afraid!

Linzhi

2009-02-23T04:44:00.000-08:00

by Amy, mother to Linzhi from China with arthrogryposis

We felt the calling to adopt from China in the spring of 2006. We happily filled out our applications, picked our agency, social worker, gathered all our paperwork for our dossier, etc… We were thrilled to get a our DTC and LID in a timely manner and just felt relief that we were finally in line for that sweet “healthy” baby girl or boy. So we thought…

The following April in 2007, I was at home watching the TODAY showing anticipating a story about a Chinese orphan. It never dawned on me that my whole world would be turned upside down in a matter of minutes. As I watched the show, I felt the Lord changing my heart towards “special needs orphans” Don’t get me wrong, I prayed for those sweet little souls everyday but honestly, I never felt we were equipped to parent a child with a special need. I doubted our knowledge, patience, and what would it do to my other children? Not to mention our marriage, time, etc… I didn’t understand why the Lord was asking this of us? Did He feel we were equipped, patient enough, had the time, resources and the faith? Why us Lord? That was my prayer as I prayed that day. Is our child a waiting child? Am I clear, this is what you’re asking of us? I could go on and on because that’s how the next 2 days were, lots of tears, fear, anxiousness and dare I say it… EXCITEMENT!! Once the fog cleared and we received even more confirmation from God we knew this was the road he was asking us to take and we were on board! I must add, my husband was not fearful or anxious, he didn’t hesitate for a minute when I mentioned special needs. I was the one resisting a bit… Just a little bit :)

After the decision was made for us to pursue a waiting child things moved pretty fast from that point on. Our agency notified us that we could indeed switch from NSN to SN without a problem and in fact, they were posting a new waiting child list within the next few days little did we know our Linzhi was on that list. I won’t go into detail on the referral process but I will tell you when we were matched with Linzhi, there was no clear diagnosis on her condition. It was stated as “upper limb deformity” and that was it. We put our trust in the Lord and went full speed ahead. He placed her so effortlessly in our arms, there was no point in wasting time worrying on the what if’s. She was ours and whatever her condition we would take care of her.

Once we were matched with Linzhi on June 29th 2007, We received our LSC in 65 days and our TA in less than 10. Before we knew it we were on a plane to China. November 19th, 2007, Linzhi was placed in our arms for the first time. I still get chills when I think about it. Our time in China was filled with tons of “what could this be”? Does it progress? Will she need surgery? Not to mention trying to bond with a three year old that never knew what it meant to have a mommy and daddy so we put her condition aside and focused on bonding with our new child. I think that did wonders for us because bottom line, we all have special needs, right? I mean, some you can see and some are beneath the skin and come out in other ways. The Lord was so present with us when we were discovering our new child in China, he gave us such peace knowing HE was in complete control of her life and we would continue to follow His lead.
When we returned from China in November, 2007 we had another blessing waiting for us. Shriners Hospital in Chicago accepted Linzhi as a patient, we were thrilled beyond belief! The only catch was, her first appointment wasn’t until June, 2008! We prayed and decided to wait until June and not pursue any other medical advice other than regular pediatric visits. I must add a side note. Linzhi experienced major panic attacks when seen by the pediatrician so we accepted that as a sign and spent that time getting Linzhi adjusted to her new family and surroundings.

This is the post from the days events that I copied from my blog...

June, 2008 Shriners! Today we received the information we've been waiting almost a year for...a DIAGNOSIS!! Today at Shriner's we learned Linzhi has a condition called "Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congentita" try and say that three times in a row... =) Basically, she has severe contracture "stiffing" of the joints in her wrist, fingers and elbows. The doctor also classified her as a "mild" case because it has not affected her legs, hips, ankles, etc... The Occupational Therapist did tell us it will not worsen or move to additional joints and should improve with OT therapy 2-3 days per week, home exercises (2x's daily) and she must wear splints every night as she sleeps. I cannot begin to tell you how awesome it was to be at Shriner's. The staff was incredible and to top it off the specialist that has taken Linzhi's case is the head of orthopedics at Loyola Hospital in Chicago(one of the best in the nation). God knew exactly where we needed to be for our baby. She did so good today! No panic attacks, just a few tears during x-rays and her splint fitting...WHEW! I can't tell you enough how much your thoughts and prayers mean to both CJ and I. I love the adoption community and all my wonderful friends that I've met through our journey to Linzhi. I mean it, you're all the best! =) So now, we need to find a local OT therapist that has experience with this type of condition, exercise her precious little arms twice daily, strap her splints on at night (which she loves...go figure) and most importantly PRAY. The Lord is so good to us!!

So now it’s been almost 8 months since we got the diagnosis of Arthrogryposis and I have to tell you, Linzhi continues to improve daily, she amazes us with her problem solving skills, patience, will-power and determination and she does it all with a toothy grin. All three of my kids have changed my life and I love them all the same. Linzhi however taught me one thing I thought would never happen. Linzhi taught me to slow down. I know it’s seem silly but it’s true. Linzhi is 4 years old, I have to feed her almost every meal that requires utensils. I have to take her to the bathroom every time because she cannot manage it on her own (yet, she’s almost there), I have to make sure all the entry ways are clear of junk because if she trips, she has no way of breaking her fall, she needs assistance with every daily ritual that so many of us take for granted like, brushing our teeth & hair, putting on our socks, pulling up/down our pants, zipping our coats, rubbing our eyes, scratching our heads, picking our noses (LOL, I had to throw that in because Rachel my 5 year old will pick Linzhi’s nose for her!!!). Anyway, the list could go on and on but I joyfully do it everyday. Yes, it has slowed my schedule down to almost a halt when I really need to get somewhere but it makes me stop to think for a minute. The way I react to her limitations will eventually make her feel ashamed or burdened of herself and that is not how we feel at all so I take and make additional time for her and my other two. Our wish is for her to celebrate her uniqueness and be proud of how far she has come. Bottom line, God makes all of this possible, I always fell short in the “slow, patient, relax” department but since Linzhi entered my life I had to quickly adjust my way of doing things which overall benefited the whole family. Now, I don’t want to paint a picture of shiny happy people family, that’s not the case. Not only did I have to adjust, CJ, Trevor and Rachel had to as well. But God is good and faithful and step by step helped all of us in different ways. Having a child with a special need comes with many challenges, some foreseen and some that come out of left field but it also brings so much fulfillment and joy to be able to witness a miracle everyday from God. When Linzhi turned on the bathroom faucet for the first time our neighbors probably thought we were a bunch of lunatics (our windows were open and we were very loud!) but to Linzhi that was a HUGE victory!!

My advice to anyone thinking about adopting a special needs orphan is this. PRAY, on your knees pray. Ask the Lord what his plan is for this child and if it includes you as their parent. Gather as much information as you can from parents that have adopted a SN child. I was glued to some many blogs during our process and it helped more than I ever thought. Don’t focus on the diagnosis or the limitations, focus on the child! When our agency told us to prepare for this child to be completely dependent on us for the rest of her life, we truly didn’t believe it. And it’s not true, Linzhi’s future is very bright, she is making great strides in OT/PT and her long term prognosis from Dr. Light is this. She will have a full productive, independent life (God willing). Yes, she will need accommodations such as door handles, hooks to help her dress, etc… but overall, our Linzhi has a very bright future!

One last thought to share, if the Lord moved mountains and calls us to bring another waiting child home, we would in a half of a heartbeat!

Xiao Guo Zi

2009-02-21T04:15:00.000-08:00

By Stacy, Mom to Xiao Guo Zi from China (NSN) with Alpha Thalassemia trait and asthma

We waited anxiously for our NSN referral to come in. Waited and Waited. All the others came in, still we waited. My husband went out to the store, and I waited. Finally, when I was certain for some reason that we were not getting a referral, I got the call! She was beautiful! She was a toddler at approximately 16 months. My husband came home and plastered the house with her pictures. Soon after, we got the paperwork from Fed Ex.

My heart sank when I saw our daughter’s Complete Blood Count (CBC) results. Something did not look right. I started to search frantically on the web and came up with Thalassemia. We contacted an international adoption doctor who consulted with a pediatric hematologist at one of the five Thalassemia Treatment Centers in the U.S. Yes, unquestionably, our daughter had some form of Thalassemia. However, in their opinion, it would probably be manageable with few or no blood transfusions needed. It was however, uncertain and there could be no guarantees. We were in shock and quite stressed through these several days, trying to divine and understand a condition that we had never heard of. We were also concerned that her hemoglobin was low enough that she could have a more complex form of the condition than the simple trait (two gene-deletion). We asked for a second CBC to ensure that it was the same as the first and not a file mix-up. Had we known what our daughter had to go through to get that second CBC, we never would have asked for it.

We struggled, prayed and waited. We were unsure. It was sobering to find what was expected to be a NSN referral could well be SN. We were warned by the international adoption doctor that if we asked too many questions and identified her condition, she would most likely be transferred to a special needs list and we would not be able to adopt her. If we wanted this child we would need to accept her quickly.

Five days later, September 8, 2005, we knew we wanted to accept the referral, we called, faxed and had our acceptance sent to China first thing that morning. We were sure that whatever the future held, whatever form of Thalassemia our daughter had, we would find a way to deal with it. Only 2 hours after we faxed our response to China, my 100-year old grandmother, who always told me that she had to stay alive until I had a child, died. She had kept her vow. It was a bittersweet day.

Its been over three years since we got home. Our daughter is doing great and living up to her nickname – Little Pot Boiling Over – with emotion, with excitement, and with the need to say what she’s thinking - she is always thinking.

Her Thalassemia was tested and turned out to be Alpha Trait, which is very manageable. Combined with her asthma, she is more weak than most when she has a respiratory infection, due to anemia and a lack of oxygen. At times I can tell when she is not feeling well, because the area around her nose and mouth turn bluish, as if she had a Mongolian spot there, but it only shows when she is not feeling 100 percent. When she is recovering from an illness she is sometimes too tired to run with the other kids at school. I have read that kids with Thalassemia are more prone to infection with mycoplasma pneumoniae and she has had her share of it. We no longer take vacations at 8,500 feet or above in altitude, as there is not a lot of oxygen available. She will need genetic counseling if she considers having a birth child, but at this point she swears she only wants to adopt. Her asthma is treated with standard medications and is well controlled.

She has been our wonderful gift and we are so happy that we accepted her referral, even though the extent of her condition was unknown at the time. We are still sure we would have found a way to deal with it if her condition were more serious. She is bright, funny, loving, adorable and a joy in our lives.

If you want to know more about Alpha or Beta Thalassemia, there is more information on this website and at Thalassemia.org. There are Yahoo Groups addressing these conditions: Adoptingthalassemia and Thalassemiaparents. While Beta Thalassemia occurs in China, Alpha Thalassemia is said to be more prevalent in China and Southeast Asia. Both Thalassemias are most prevalent in the most southern provinces of China, especially Guangxi and Guangdong.

Lizzie

2009-02-19T04:28:00.000-08:00

By Anne, mom to Lizzie from China with clubfoot and a limb difference

We had talked about adoption for many years and had actually started the process for a non special needs, infant girl from Korea when we found out we were pregnant with our fourth child (first girl). We were thrilled about our first baby girl but really did not know what to think about our adoption plans because God seemed to be telling us that adoption was not what we were supposed to be doing. About a year after our sweet Emmeline was born, we began to feel the familiar tug at our hearts. This time, however, I began to truly listen to what He was telling me.

My brother was born with no fingers on his right hand and tiny fingers on his left as well as no toes on either foot and is my hero!!! As I began to open my heart and ears to what God wanted us to do, I understood that we were waiting for a beautiful limb difference child and not in Korea but in China!! I had always felt a pull toward these wonderful children and now I know why!! My husband, however, did not want to consider a limb difference child and really did not think he could handle any special needs unless they were very minor. I tried to respect his feelings and did not talk to him a lot about how my feelings were changing – until!!!! One day, I happen to see a post in a yahoo group from an agency in Alabama. They had a list of SN children from China and I thought I would just take a look. To my utter shock and joy, I saw her - our daughter!!! I saw her amazing face and eyes and was in love. I saw her beautiful little hands and was in awe!!!! Her hands looked so much like my brother’s and I knew my search was over and this was the little girl who I had been waiting for!!! The only problem was that she was “on hold” for another family!!!! Again, I was confused but felt His calling so deeply that I emailed the agency about her anyway – just in case!!! About 5 minutes later, I received a phone call from the agency telling me that the “hold” on this little one had been removed about 30 minutes before they got my email!!!! OK – that was loud and clear!!!! Now I knew I had to convince my husband that this was his little girl as well!!! Not only did she have missing and fused fingers and toes, but she also had one clubfoot. This was so much more than he thought he could handle! Little did I know that all it was going to take was an email and a picture!! As soon as he saw Lizzie’s face, God filled his heart and he knew and from that moment on, she was his baby girl and nothing would ever change that. I LOVE my husband!!!

We did a lot of research while we waited and came to the conclusion that Lizzie more than likely suffered from ABS or Amniotic Banding Syndrome. We knew that she would need to have some surgeries to separate some of her fingers and would need to be treated for her clubfoot that had never been treated in China. With the help of friends (Stefanie) we decided that we would use the Ponseti method for treating clubfoot. While we waited, we began to search for doctors trained in this method. As the days went by, we started a website for our sweet Lizzie, sent care packages and prayed for God to hold her close until we could!!

When the time finally arrived to leave for China, we were overjoyed, scared, emotional, and nervous!! We decided to take 3 of our 4 kids with us, along with my Mother-in-law (best decision ever) and that was also stressful at first. It was so difficult to plan for and travel with 3 young children (not to mention 4 coming home), but it was absolutely wonderful and helped in Lizzie’s transition immensely. On June 10th, 2008 Lizzie was placed in my arms and forever in my heart!! She never cried that day. It almost felt like she was saying, “It is about time!!! What took you so long!! I have been waiting for you!!” She was incredibly tiny and very far behind developmentally for a 2 year old, but every day we saw such improvement. It was like we were seeing her blossom right before our eyes and it was amazing!! For as much as she had been through in her short little life, her capacity for love was breath taking!!

It has been a long road but Lizzie is worth every single second. I cannot imagine our lives without her and shudder to think what her life may have been like if she had not been adopted. Lizzie’s limb difference is such a non issue that I have to stop and remind myself of it sometimes. She really can do anything she puts her mind to and more!!! Her clubfoot has been casted (18 casts) and she is now wearing her brace for 14 hours a day and does great in it!! In 2 days we get to reduce her time down to 12 hours a day!! After she is done with her brace, she really won’t even have to think about that foot anymore. She will be able to play sports or dance or whatever her heart desires. My husband is so looking forward to coaching his girls in soccer when they are old enough!!! She has had 2 hand surgeries and was up and playing the same day!!! We may do a little more surgery on her hands later but it should be relatively easy and a quick recovery.

I know now that this is truly what we were meant to do and Lizzie was meant for us!!! People sometimes tell me what a lucky little girl she is. I know they are just trying to be nice, however, we think we are the lucky ones to be so incredibly blessed by this sweet, strong, determined, loving little soul!!!

Feel free to visit our family blog here!

Claire

2009-02-17T04:18:00.000-08:00

by Keri, mom to Claire from China with a SN of mediastinal tumor

I have hesitated to share our story because I feel some guilt including it in a 'special need' category. You see, we experienced a true miracle with our Claire. We were clients of AWAA on the NSN route knowing nothing about SN. When we were DTC the wait was supposedly 6-7 months. Of course this ended up not being the case and we started hearing about SN adoptions and I called our family coordinator and spoke to her and we filled out a check-list. Our home study provider was AHH and because the wait had grown so long, we found it necessary to do a home study update. I got on AHH's website to pay for our update and I just "happened" to check on their list of waiting children. I saw and instantly knew our daughter on their list. She had been there waiting for three months. Her diagnosis was a tumor in the mediastinal cavity. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was our daughter, but I was concerned that my husband would be concerned about her diagnosis. At four months she had a chest x-ray and a CT-scan that documented the tumor and now she was 22 months old and she had received no treatment. AHH had been trying to get copies of the x-rays and CT-scan, but they still hadn't received them. I called my husband and I told him that I really felt like I had seen our daughter. I gave him the web address and I asked him to stop and pray about it before he opened it and read her special need. He called me 15 minutes later and told me to call AHH and tell them we wanted her. We were very fortunate the our two agencies worked together to help us bring our daughter home.

We faithfully prayed for Claire every moment of every day. I don't believe there was hardly a moment of any day that I wasn't praying. I have met on-line and in person so many people who told me they were praying for Claire. Praying for her healing and for her to have a home. It just fills my heart so full when I hear that someone has prayed for my daughter. To those of you who did this, I want to say, "Thank you so much!"

We met Claire on December 11, 2006 and had a wonderful time in China. She loved, (and I mean loved) all the new clothes we had brought for her and she really adapted well. She was 2 years old. When we got back home she was able to meet her two brothers and her sister and it was love at first sight. She had seen a lot of pictures and we had sent a pillow ahead of time with a picture of our family on it. She came into our home squealing and excited. Not at all shy and reserved like I had expected! We were so happy that she felt at home.

Exactly one week later we had an appointment to meet with our wonderful International Adoption Specialist, Dr. Shawn Taylor. She gave her a very thorough physical, but I will admit the only thing we could concentrate on was the upcoming chest x-ray. We went for the x-ray and we waited with Dr. Taylor while the pediatric radiologist read it. She was on the phone with Dr. Taylor while we stood there with her. My heart was pounding and my stomach felt sick. All of the sudden for the first time since we had begun this journey, my faith began to waiver and all sorts of horrible things ran through my mind. At that moment, Dr. Taylor looks at us with a huge smile on her face and gives us a "thumbs up" sign. Claire's x-ray was totally normal. "One-hundred per cent normal" were her words. I felt like my legs would collapse underneath me at that point with total relief. I will never be able to praise God long enough for this miracle, our daughter.

After we left Dr. Taylor's, and had called everyone we knew to share the news, the realization hit me. If Claire had not had the diagnosis that she had, she would not have been ours. She would have gone onto a NSN list and gone on to another family and she wouldn't have been ours. The thought brought me to tears for the second time that day. She is so our daughter and I can not imagine our lives without her.

You can visit our family blog here.

Kimmie and Quan

2009-02-16T04:30:00.000-08:00

by Laine, mom to Kimmie from China with radial club hands and Quan from China with cleft lip and palate

Kimmie and Quan…two toddler adoptions at the same time!

If that title doesn’t get your attention, nothing will! We were blessed beyond measure to adopt two special needs children at one time. Our story is a miracle. Our story is God’s story.

We began the adoption process in fall of 2006. We have 4 biological children, and the Lord called us to adopt. This was not in our original “family planning” book. We had 2 boys, 2 girls, happy family! But when God speaks in such an obvious way as He spoke to us, one can do nothing but obey! I would love to say I was one of these mothers who had always dreamed of adopting and having a big family. I was not. I thought I would have maybe 2 kids and work full time. God had other plans. And I’m so glad! His ways are not our ways, they are so much better! Anyway, I digress…. when we began the adoption process, God really laid it on our hearts to adopt two children. Our agency said that is not possible, unless we adopt two special needs children. I was scared of that word “special needs”. My husband was gung-ho, let’s do it! After much prayer, we submitted a check-list of the special needs we felt we could handle. We also made it clear that we would love to adopt two children.

In December, 2006 our social worker matched us with a beautiful 2 year old boy with CL/CP. (This was well before the shared list of waiting children existed.) It was love at first sight! Cleft lip/cleft palate was one of the needs we felt we could manage. We asked if there were any girls on the list that she felt we might be able to adopt at the same time. The next day we were able to review the file of an 18 month old girl. She had radial club hands. This was not even one of the needs we checked, but when we saw her picture, we knew she was ours. We were not familiar with her special need, but we had such peace and confirmation that she was our daughter, that we were not afraid! We plunged in with both feet to bring both these toddlers home. We submitted two LOI’s and anxiously waited for two PA’s. We asked our family, friends, church, and anyone who would listen to please pray that we would be approved to adopt both children. By this time we felt like they were already ours, and if we could only adopt one of them it would feel like an arm had been cut off… About a month later we received a phone call from our social worker. She had confirmed we had verbal pre-approval through our agency’s in-China coordinator to adopt BOTH children! HOWEVER, there was quite a God story behind it all. At first, the person in charge of special needs at the CCAA had said NO to our family being able to adopt two at one time. This person is known for making a decision and sticking to it and not ever changing his/her mind. But for some inexplicable reason (GOD!), a mind WAS changed and the verdict switched to allow both these children to be placed in our family! We know this was the Lord moving to accomplish His will and purposes.

As we waited to bring them home, we began to pray fervently that the Lord would knit their hearts together. We knew they lived in the same city, and were in foster care, but in two different foster homes. This city happened to have a population of over nine million. What are the chances our children, Kimmie and Quan, would know one another well? We prayed the Lord would supernaturally arrange play dates for them, that they would be able to know one another and also have played together often. We were hopeful this would help them in their transition to our family if they had each other as a familiar face to give comfort. Before we traveled to China, we received the most amazing answer to our prayers. We found out that their foster mothers were SISTERS and they lived close to one another and practically grew up as cousins. We even have pictures of them playing together in China before we adopted them! Only the Lord! On July 23, 2007 Kimmie and Quan became brother and sister forever. God had moved mountains to bring His will to pass! Throughout our process we realized how rare it is to be able to adopt two special needs children at one time. The orphanage director told us that he had never seen it happen in his ten years of service. I am not sure if it is allowed anymore, but I know that we are very thankful for the blessing and privilege of being able to do this.

Toddler adoption has its challenges. Multiply those challenges times two, and it could seemingly be a recipe for disaster. But the Lord was our strength and our help in time of need. Quan was our feisty fighter in China: biting, hitting, scratching, grieving so sadly. Kimmie was in a catatonic-like state. She spent most of her time in China in a “zone”, staring off into space. Bless their little hearts, they both were so shell shocked, not knowing what in the world was happening to their little world. They seemed to be on opposite ends of the attachment spectrum, and we had a hard time dividing our bonding time. We clung to the promises of God; He is always with us. We remembered how He had obviously been behind this adoption every step of the way and He would not forsake us now. It took a lot of time, patience, structure, and unconditional love, but slowly our two little toddlers became to feel more and more secure. Each month that passed by got better and better. In just three short months (though at times they seemed pretty long!) they made great strides in adjustment and attachment. Our doctor at the International Adoption Clinic told us wonderful advice: Do not judge how things are going day by day, because when you first come home with your adopted child, the days vary greatly! Judge how things are going by the week. At the end of the week, assess how well your overall week went. That was wonderful advice!

As far as their special needs, we do not consider our children as special needs children! Quan had surgery to close his palate in October, 2007. His lip was repaired in March, 2008. He goes to speech twice a week at the local elementary school. His language and articulation are exploding! He was attending speech also at our local Children’s Hospital, but because he was speaking so well he was released from that in December, 2008. Kimmie has regular appointments with a pediatric orthopedic doctor for examinations of her bi-lateral radial club hands, and as for now we are not considering surgery yet. That may be down the road, but we feel led to wait on that decision until Kimmie gets a little bit older. I know there are those who opt for the surgeries to straighten their child’s hands. The surgeries are pretty extensive and Kimmie would need them on BOTH hands. We just feel like the best decision for Kimmie is to wait for now. She can do everything with her hands! They are so functional, and that is another reason we are in no rush to do surgeries. There are certain syndromes related to radial club hands. Kimmie has had her heart and kidneys checked and they both are normal. She saw a genetic doctor who did blood work that showed she does not have any syndromes. We are very thankful that her hands seem to be an isolated special need.

Our children have taught us way more than we could ever teach them! The main thing we’ve learned is that we who are in God’s family are ALL special needs children, amen? We give Him the glory for great things He has done! When asked if we would adopt special needs toddlers all over again, our answer is a resounding “YES! IN A HEARTBEAT!!!!!!”

Aidan Hope

2009-02-13T04:03:00.000-08:00

by Tracy, mom to Aidan Hope from China with microtia

When I was in 7th grade, I purchased a used book from our county’s Book-mobile service. It was called The Family That Nobody Wanted, by Helen Doss. It was the story of a young pastor’s wife, unable to bear her own biological children, who desired to be a mother more than anything. She and her husband chose to adopt children that were considered “undesirable” by the 1940’s-era foster and adoptive systems. Many of these children were “un-adoptable” because they were of foreign, unknown, or mixed ethnicity. I believe that the Lord used that book to plant the seed of a dream in my heart to pursue international adoption.

When Todd and I began to date during our sophomore year of college, I sat him down and shared my heart for adoption with him. It was so important to me that he realize that it wasn’t just a dream to me. I really believed it was a calling. I remember that day so clearly. We sat by the creek that ran through our college campus and he promised me that he could pray about it when he prayed about our future. I have been so honored to watch God “water” the dream of adoption as a calling in Todd’s heart since that day. We’ve dreamed together as a married couple and there’s always been an understanding between us that this was the path God had called us to. During these past 18 years of marriage, even as the Lord was blessing us with four beautiful biological children, we still carried a sense that our family was not yet complete. Each of our kids is gifted, smart, and talented; but more importantly than that, they all love Jesus deeply and they, too, believe in this “family mission” to which God has called us.

In April 2006, we began our adoption journey through Living Hope Adoption Agency, founded by Samuel and Lily Fang, former Chinese citizens who are deeply committed to bringing together “Forever Families” through the mission of this agency. We had just recently moved to the Philadelphia area so that Todd could further his career in Human Resources at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Our dossier was logged into the CCAA on December 15, 2006. We started hearing almost immediately about the lengthening waits and tried to settle in to the idea that we might not see a referral until sometime in late 2010. The idea of that never really sat very well with us. We had never intended that our children be so spread apart in age; we had a deep desire that all four of our biological children get an opportunity to live at home for a good long time to really bond and connect with our adopted daughter.

During the months that we waited, we learned MUCH about the process, about ourselves, and about the Lord’s will for our lives – which still continues to unfold before our eyes. It was difficult at times to wait; but He gave us several tangible encouragements along the way, including a “life verse” and a name for our new daughter. We were to call her Aidan Hope. The “life verse” thing is something the Lord did for me in each of my pregnancies. Next to the verse, in the margin of my Bible is the date “April ‘06” – the month we signed the application contract with Living Hope. The verse He gave me for her, and I believe for our journey to her is Psalm 71: 5 & 6: “For you have been my HOPE, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth. From birth I have relied on you, you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you.” In old Gaelic, the name Aidan means “little fiery one,” and with everything she had to survive in order to come home to us, we believed God for a fiery fighter spirit to rise up in her!

While we prayed, lived our daily life, and waited for the process to progress, we found ourselves thinking more and more about the Waiting Child program. At the June ’07 reunion sponsored by our agency, we sat with a couple whom we had enjoyed getting to know during various other agency events. They shared with us and others at the table that night that they had recently felt moved by the Lord to put their family dossier onto the Waiting Child list. The things she shared that night really made sense to us. The conversation at dinner that night was the spark of a flame that I couldn’t ignore any longer. After many conversations, Todd and I requested the informational packet about the Waiting Child program in October 2007.

As happens far too often in so many homes, further conversation got tabled simply by the logistics of a busy household. We were focused on tightening up our budget, raising our kids and trying to keep up with a very full calendar. October became November became December. But I couldn’t walk by the desk without feeling like I needed to read the packet one more time. Finally, Todd and I agreed to spend January praying and even fasting during our church’s corporate yearly fast period for direction regarding special needs adoption. By the end of the first week of the fast, we had our answer. We shared the next step of our journey with a couple close friends and our immediate family. We spoke with the kids over several dinner conversations. By the end of January we were ready to mail in our application for the Waiting Child program. The fact that all 6 of us could agree upon the kinds of needs that we were able to consider was like the proverbial “icing on the cake” for us. We had worked closely with our agency to identify and define each of these specific physical conditions that we “checked off” on the application and also enrolled in the International Adoption Health Program (IAHP) at Children’s Hospital Of Philadelphia (CHOP). They provided counseling and evaluation services, and will continue to work with us throughout Aidan’s first years at home. They have already been an amazing source of support and guidance in plotting the course for Aidan’s care and treatments. We stand completely amazed that God brought us to the Philly region for Todd to work at CHOP and for our future daughter to be cared for by the best pediatric hospital in the country!

Immediately, we began to feel a new excitement rising up in our home. At the very same time that we were submitting our application, the CCAA was releasing its new “shared list” – an on-line pilot program that has had many bumps and foibles since its release. Ultimately, it exists to allow for a greater number of children to be available to a greater number of parents. But, as with any pilot program, there were kinks to be worked through. We heard story after story of “lock-ins” that fell through and stories of older children with more severe needs dominating the lists. We hung in there and pressed in to the Lord, trusting Him for wisdom and discernment.

In mid-June, our agency presented us with a file that they believed to be a good match. She was an adorable toddler with vague but seemingly manageable diagnoses. We felt as if this could be our Aidan, and told the agency to lock her file for us. Unfortunately, this turned out to be one of those sad stories of a referral that fell through. At the time, we were deeply saddened but willing to accept that this was not God’s plan for our family. We continued to pray for that little girl but turned our attentions to readying a nursery and waiting for the Lord to bring His best for the Whitney Gang. On Monday, July 14 we got the call that would change The Gang forever. We had found our Aidan Hope.

Aidan Hope BoNing was born with Microtia of the right ear. This means that she will likely be deaf in her right ear for life. However, her particular instance of Microtia is not part of another larger syndrome or any other birth defect (as can often be the case with Microtia). She is developing her speech and language skills at a wonderfully exciting pace. We’ve begun the journey of evaluations: meeting with audiologists, ENT’s, speech and language therapists, and our pediatrician to coordinate the course of treatments and interventions that Aidan may need as she grows. It’s been a little like going back to school, learning a new vocabulary and studying up on the suggestions each specialist shares with us. I love an opportunity to learn new things and this has certainly satisfied that! Recently, our doctor at the International Adoption clinic commented that Aidan has adapted remarkably well. That she was lucky to have us and to have such a wonderful transition. But the doctor got it wrong. We are the lucky, no, blessed! ones. Her presence in our home has enriched our lives beyond measure. Her laughter and her mischievous little grin have filled our hearts in a way that none of us can accurately put into words. She IS our daughter, in every sense of the word. No matter the hardships and the pain that we faced while waiting for her, it has all been worth every second of the journey. There could be no other child who fits so perfectly into the empty space that was waiting just for her!

Many people have asked us about the financing of this journey. We above all else want to acknowledge the provision of the Lord along the way. We feel confident that we were been faithful to do our part: trimming extras from our budget, putting money aside, hosting yard sales, and selling out-grown toys and extra furniture. I even took a part-time job for a short season to help put some extra away. The kids were also very generous with their time and money, often dropping birthday money and chore change into our “Adoption Jar” when they heard the voice of the Lord in their hearts. Several family members and friends have graciously and generously given money to help bring Aidan home. God has provided in amazing ways so far, and we are excited to see what He will do to help us pay off the debt that we did have to incur to finalize the trip. We had been expedited by the CCAA due to the earlier failed referral and again, were graciously helped by friends and family to get the travel expenses covered until we came home to pay it off. I have never spoken so openly about the debt, mostly because it was fairly unexpected and it all happened so fast. We have applied for grants (and did before we left) and really our only regret is that we didn’t know then all that we know now about the financial aid that is so available to families who adopt special needs. If you find yourself wondering how you can possibly afford an adoption, do some research! There is help out there and you CAN bring a child home to his or her “Forever Family!” Just don’t wait as long to seek out the help as we did.

Finally, to those who wonder if they are called to adopt a special needs child, I would say to surround yourself with people who will pray with you and for you in the decision process. People who will be honest and real with you about the “every day” of a special needs child. We were fortunate to have several people like that who were willing to share their story and their journey. It made all the difference in the world. We have also been blessed by a very supportive and loving extended family. Along the way we have done everything we could to include them in this journey; after all, she is their family now too. There is just no way I can describe to you the utter joy I felt when I saw my Dad holding his Chinese-born granddaughter up for his congregation to meet. Or the peace I feel when I see my daughter leaning in to kiss my sister. She is not just mine. She belongs to us all. I’m so privileged and honored that the Lord has given me the gift of bringing her to the whole crazy lot of us!

Feel free to visit our family blog here.

Rachel

2009-02-11T04:24:00.000-08:00

By Kathy, mom to Rachel from China with cleft lip

Rachel story is one of great detail, lots of red threads and sure determination of many people to make sure this little girl found her forever family. There are so many twists and turns I don't even know what category her story will fall in.

It started in Jan. 04, when my Grandma, who I shared a birthday with, and ironically Rachel does as well, passed away. My Grandma loved children, and one of my fondest memories from childhood was hearing her sing "Jesus Loves the Little Children". So in honor of my Grandma I decided I would sponsor a child in her memory. I did a web search and Philp Hayden showed up, I clicked on the sponsor this child link and started looking at all the wonderful kids. I would click on their profile and read about them. I saw the most gorgeous eyes staring back at me and I clicked on "Rachel's" picture and when I saw her Birthday I knew I had found the perfect child to sponsor because she had mine and my Grandma's Birthday. My Grandma I knew must be smiling! That started the "needle in the hay stack" search for Rachel.

Rachel was born with cleft lip, which was repaired in China. I would periodically get updates and new pictures of her and I felt I was really getting to know this little beauty. Further more, it started feeling like she was our daughter. I saw many pictures of her and it saddened me to see her grow up right before my eyes. I would send her Birthday packages, Christmas packages and would always dream of her being home with us someday. I would inquire from time to time with PHF (Philip Hayden Foundation), if they knew where her file was, was she up for adoption, and share my desire to be her Mother. They would always respond and thank me for the prayers for her and how special Rachel was indeed.

Over the years I had contacted many agencies looking for her, reviewed every new list I had access to and prayed if she was meant to be ours for God to let me find her. In the meantime I watched her get a few years older, and many of her friends at PHF come home and my heart ached for her.

We found our "needle in the haystack" on Dec. 14th 2007 when I received a call out of the blue from a agency I wasn't even using. The lady on the other end of the phone said "we just received a new list of kids from Langfang but Rachel is not on it. But I know the agency who has her." I never asked her how she knew because I knew there were a lot of miracles happening that could never be explained. She quickly gave me the name of the agency and I frantically started calling. Finally I reached someone who was amazed that I knew they got a new list because it had just been received. She did finally confirm that she did have her on their list. However a new road block was thrown up, their agency had never asked CCAA for a waiver and we would need one because we had only been home with our youngest for 3 months. I went on to explain our connection to this child and she finally agreed they would ask CCAA for us. However road block number two came up, their agency fee had to be paid before a child could be put on hold and that fee was a huge to a family just coming home from China to come up with, it was $6000. So once again a mountain was moved and we had the money, a further indication to us God was working to bring this child home.

We started gathering our paperwork, sent our LOI, and we were enjoying our family when in late March something would happen to us that would shake our world. Our son was in a terrible accident and for days we weren't even sure he was going to pull through. We were in a fight for our son's life. The morning after the wreck, as I sat in his ICU room, I got an email that states our pre approval to adopt "Rachel" was denied stating the one year rule and "too many small children in the home". They asked if we wanted to appeal. When I was strong enough to get my thoughts straight, I sent a email explaining where I was at, about our son's accident and that I just couldn't focus on this right now, my plate was full. They replied they wanted to talk with their contact in China and explain our story. I honestly thought I would never hear from the agency, and on that particular day I am honest to say I was ok with that because we felt the focus was on our son at that particular time.

Praise God two weeks later we were able to bring our son home to start a long road of recovery. I really had given up on the idea that we would be bringing "Rachel" home but I was still praying that God's will for her be done. A could weeks after we brought our son home our agency calls and says "we have news, we have your Pre approval". To say I was shocked was a understatement. My mind was swirling, I wasn't sure how we would do this because of our son's recovery, medical bills, who could travel... a million things went through my mind. I second guessed if and should we proceed, but we just couldn't give over the notion this was our daughter.

Over the next few months many people stepped up in faith, prayed with us, and for us, and helped us in every way possible to bring Rachel home. I will never forget the generosity of the adoption community, and I wish I could personally thank everyone who knew Rachel's story.

Rachel is home now and doing wonderful and for anyone out there looking for a child you feel a strong connection to, remember our needle in a hay stack story and never be discouraged. The blessing of this child to our family has been huge.

Silas

2009-02-10T05:15:00.000-08:00

By Cara, mother to Silas from China with bilateral microtia and atresia

In the early summer of 2007 my husband and I decided to have a third baby. We had two girls and knew we wanted a third child. I was praying about our decision one day and I had a thought come to my mind that we needed to adopt. This thought was clearly from God. Adoption was never something my husband and I had discussed. I was not opposed to the idea, but had never given it much thought. At church the following week, our pastor spoke on adoption. God was really hitting me hard! After church, I mentioned to my husband that I had felt God prompting us to adopt and he informed me he did not feel that way but did agree to pray about it.

Well, several months past and I was not pregnant yet. God was continuing to push my heart towards adoption and I finally did a little internet research. I looked up our agency, A Helping Hand, and saw their waiting child page. They did not have any waiting children at the time, but I bookmarked the page to check it again in the future. One day I was on the computer and decided to check the page again. When it opened, there were children! I was so excited! I looked through each file and my heart just fell in love with two of the little boys. One little boy was quickly matched with a family and my little Silas, who has bilateral microtia, stayed unmatched for three months. God was saving him for us. Meanwhile, I kept showing his picture to my husband who agreed he was adorable, but still was not feeling the same desire to adopt that I was. I quit asking him about it and just started praying that if this was God’s plan of us that he would quickly change his mind.

One Sunday in November, our pastor said a prayer in church that resonated with my husband about teaching us to love others. As he prayed this prayer over the next day God spoke clearly to him that he was going to teach him to love by adopting Silas. You can imagine my surprise and joy when he told me he thought God had chosen Silas to be our son! I immediately e-mailed the agency and was told another family was already interested in him. Oh, how my heart broke! We e-mailed back and said if anything changed, to let us know. Well, God had chosen Silas for us because the next day they sent a message saying that the family had changed their minds. We immediately began the paperwork and the joy of sharing the news with family and friends!

Silas has been home since the summer of 2008 and is doing so well. The adjustment has been a challenge on our family, but it has been so worth it! Silas has bilateral microtia and atresia. Microtia is a deformity of the external ear. Both ears are deformed, so it is called bilateral. Atresia is a deformity of the inner ear. Silas’ ear canals are misshaped and have some soft tissue inside. Silas has moderate to severe hearing loss due to the ear deformity. He wears a BAHA (bone anchored hearing aid) on a soft band. It is made by the Cochlear company. The band has a small box that vibrates when Silas hears a noise. The vibrations go to the inner ear and Silas’ hearing with the BAHA on is close to normal. He loves wearing his BAHA and asks for it in the morning. His language development is coming along very well. He is in speech therapy and is repeating and saying lots of words. Next year he will enter a speech and language based pre-school that is specifically for hearing impaired students. I know cost defers many people from adopting, especially special needs children. Our insurance paid for his BAHA (after some work on our part) and our county will pay for the preschool program due to his special needs. Help is out there to defer costs.

The future for Silas will hold many surgeries to repair his ears. Age five seems to be the earliest most doctors will begin surgery to repair the ear. Because Silas has both ears involved, it will take longer because only one ear can be done at a time. We will first repair the internal ear. We are still undecided if we are going to repair the external ear. People ask how we got a boy from China and we explain the special needs program. People look and ask what his special need is. Most people do not even notice Silas’ ears until we tell them. We will continue to research and pray so that we make the right decision in the future.

What started as a tug in my heart to adopt has led us to a joyful, energetic, special needs two-year-old boy from China. Silas has changed our family dynamic and we are so blessed to be his parents.

Please feel free to check out our family blog here that also contains our travel journal.

Mason-Kate

2009-02-09T04:32:00.000-08:00

by Ryan and Beth, parents to Mason-Kate from China with cleft lip and palate

Growing up, I was fascinated with adoption. My neighbor was adopted, "Annie" was my hero, playing adoption agency was my favorite pretend game and occasionally I wondered if I was adopted and my parents just weren't telling me about it. During college, I studied social work, volunteered at a children's home, and interned for an adoption agency. Although adoption was always on my mind, I never dreamed that I would actually be given the opportunity to adopt a child. My husband, Ryan, and I had discussed children before we married but mostly he said "one at a time" and I said "even number, 2 or 4". Fast forward several years, our first son is born....I agreed with Ryan at that point, "one at a time"....the reality of caring for a child 24/7 was huge! Fast forward 2 years and our second son joined our family. He was born in less than 2 hours, no pain medication. I developed some complications following his delivery and required surgery when he was just 6 days old. Although I did have a quick recovery physically, mentally it took a toll on me and for quite sometime I didn't feel as though I could go through that again. Fast forward 4 years, and we were jumping for joy the day we saw a positive on the home pregnancy test. Two weeks later, I miscarried. It was at that moment, in the drs. office, that Ryan promised me that we could go to China for our baby girl if I were to miscarry again. During that conversation, I do not think either one of us knew what was to come. Six weeks later, I miscarried again. With the first miscarriage, the dr. stated that "these things happen, there is no reason you cannot carry a baby," etc.....the second time, he did not know what to say except that he was sorry for our loss.

A few weeks later, I reminded Ryan about our agreement in the drs. office. He was unsure of adoption. To answer some of his questions, he attended a conference that our agency-to-be was hosting in Atlanta. He came home and was ready to go to China the next day.... from that day on, we focused on our daughter in China. We paperchased, we met friends who had been to China to adopt and we entered the adoption blog world. Then we began the WAIT, oh the WAIT.

Thankfully, we had our two boys to keep us busier than ever. However, the boys were growing older which meant the age gap between them and a baby sister was growing wider, and all the while, the wait for a child in China was unpredictable. I decided to see a fertility specialist and after a lot of thought we decided to proceed with surgery to determine exactly why I was having trouble carrying a baby to term. The morning of surgery, I went in, got prepped and laid there scared to death. The surgery was scheduled for 10am and they were running behind. At 10:30 am, I sat up and announced to Ryan that I was going home. I cried as I told the nurses and the dr. who had felt my pain that I just couldn't go through with it. I called my dad who said to me "Beth, your baby is in China. One day you will go and get her." From that day on, people as well as their own stories began to enter our lives one by one. I met a girl whose husband used to do cleft operations, I met a speech therapist who gave me the ups and downs on cleft speech issues, I started reading blogs of families just like mine who were joining the waiting child program, Ryan received a random email about how to financially care for your special needs child, we were told a miraculous story of a man (now an attorney) who was born with a severe bilateral cleft, we talked with families whose biological children had dealt with heart issues.

The Waiting Child program was not something we had given a whole lot of thought to. I specifically remember where we were during our homestudy visit when our social worker asked us if we would be willing to accept a referral for a child with a minor, correctable special need. Our answer was no, we wanted a healthy baby girl between the age of 0-12 months. However, as I read the blogs/stories of children who were labeled special needs and saw them united with their families through the Waiting Child program, I was overwhelmed with the number of children who were available for adoption with correctable special needs. Amazing. I suggested that we fill out a medical conditions checklist for our agency. To my surprise, Ryan agreed wholeheartedly, he never flinched. His approach was "what is meant to be will be". Although we checked off several needs we were willing to take on, I knew in my heart that our baby girl would be cleft affected. We filled out a checklist and less than six weeks later, we were matched with our Mason-Kate. She was just 10 months old and had a repaired unilateral cleft lip and unrepaired cleft palate - 3rd degree, 4th being the most severe. Ryan and I were on the phone with one another as we opened up her referral picture file. At the time, we had dial-up internet (sigh). As I sat on our home computer waiting to see her face, Ryan said with a little surprise (referral pictures can be a little less than flattering at times) in his voice "she is really cute" and I could tell he was smiling. Moments later I saw that face, those eyes for the first time and I knew she was ours. Now, almost a year later, I still look into those beautiful eyes and just marvel at how she came to be in our lives. Ryan was right, what was meant to be will be.

Today Mason-Kate is a beautiful, more than loved, silly, prissy little two year old girl who has flourished. When I look at Mason-Kate, I see my daughter, I don't see Chinese, or cleft lip, I see the prissy little two year old girl who has us all wrapped! She had her palate repaired 6 weeks after our arrival home and she receives speech therapy once a month - she is on target and above for speech but we continue to get services for evaluation purposes.

We began a blog for family and friends to follow along while we were in China. We continue to update our blog weekly. Please visit anytime here.

Will

2009-02-08T18:09:00.000-08:00

By Gail, mother to William Michael with cleft lip and palate

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do."
~Edward Everett Hale

I am a mother to 3 children. One by birth(now 23) and 2 by adoption from China(ages 6 and 3). We were blessed with our beautiful daughter Grace when we adopted her in 2003. I knew when we were in China that we would be back again to adopt. The trip to China, experiencing it's culture, visiting her SWI and adoption has changed both my husband and my lives forever and we can't imagine it any other way.

In May of 2006 we felt called again to adopt and started the process with our agency, LifeLink. At the time I didn't know much at all about the SN program. I was a former Registered Nurse and worked for many years in children's hospitals in NICU's(Neonatal ICUs) and PICUs(Pediatric ICUs). As a nurse I cared for critically ill infants and children and supported their families. It was incredibly rewarding, but I saw much loss and some very sad stories. It was overwhelming at times and I felt like I knew too much about what can go wrong in many ways. I was hesitant to adopt a SN child and to be honest my husband had no desire to adopt a SN child and I felt that I had to go with his wishes. At that time we decided to go the NSN route and our dossier was logged in with CCAA in November of 2006. We were so excited in our letter to CCAA and asked to adopt a NSN as young as possible little girl.

At the same time some dear friends from Grace's travel group also started the process to adopt their second child from China. From their agency's SN list they found a 3 year old little girl with a repaired cleft lip and unrepaired palate. They asked to adopt her and were approved. While we waited for our child, we saw their daughter come home, transition to their family and have her palate repaired. We also saw the miracle of a little girl who lived in a SWI for 3 years come to her forever family and blossom like a flower with the love and care of a family. My husband and I fell in love with "Emily." It was Emily that changed my husband's heart about SN.

After being logged in with CCAA for about a year I felt God was leading us to the SN program but I didn't know how to proceed. After much prayer I felt that God was showing me that my nursing and medical background would be an asset to the child we would adopt and I strongly felt we were being lead to a son. In February of 2008 we spoke to our agency and changed our request from a NSN girl to a SN boy OR girl specifically with a cleft lip and palate. A couple of shared lists came though and in April of 2008, 4 days before a family trip to Disney World, I received an email from our social worker with a shared list. There were many boys on the list. She also attached a list of 4 boys that only CCAA made available through LifeLink. I called our social worker immediately because there were 2 boys with cleft lip and palate. She read me the description of William, where he was born, his age and his birthday and I knew right then he was our son and I hadn't seen his picture yet. He had a Grade 3 bilateral(both sides) repaired lip and unrepaired palate. The next day I received his referral and brought it to our pediatrician to look at. From then on the process really went at lightning speed. We were approved very quickly because our dossier had already been reviewed by CCAA. Later we found out that William didn't reside in a SWI but in the Hidden Treasures Foster Home which was founded by an American family that now resides in China. Will had lived there since he was 3 mos. old and we also found out that his palate had been repaired too! William was placed in our arms on July 20, 2008.

As I write this 6 months later, William is now 3 years old and is a happy, energetic, funny, smart and loving little boy. He is all boy! He adores his Jie Jie and she loves her little brother dearly. He is being followed by the cleft team here in Madison, Wisconsin where we live. His surgeon has determined that his cleft palate repair that was done in China "looked outstanding" and she couldn't have done a better job herself. He will not need a cleft revision presently. He had ear tubes put in recently which is typical of cleft affected children. Around age 7 he will have a palate revision to widen his palate to allow his adult teeth to come into place. He will be starting Speech services soon, though his articulation is quite good because his palate was repaired early in China.

Sometimes the path you start out on isn't the one God had planned for you all along. I encourage anyone who is in the process of adopting from China or thinking about adoption to consider a child with a SN. If you have any questions I'd be most happy to answer them. I'm not an expert on medical special needs but can help you research them and guide you to resources that can help. This blog also recommends outstanding resources. You can contact me though our blog here.

Will lived for 2 and a half years at the Hidden Treasures Foster Home in Fuzhou, Fujian Province. We are eternally grateful to this family for the love and care they gave our little boy.

Lydia Mei

2009-02-07T19:25:00.000-08:00

By Andrea, mom to Lydia Mei from China with a SN of unilateral microtia/aural atresia

We began our adoption journey in hopes of adding children to our home, but ultimately we found a much greater purpose and passion. The road to parenthood by way of China brought us into a deeper understanding of how we were adopted by God as His forever family. It also created in us a desire to encourage others to “care for widows and orphans in their distress.” (James 1:27)

In June 2005, my husband and I stood in a Chinese office building as our healthy baby girl was placed in our arms. We had waited for this moment for 11 years and could not believe how blessed we were to have experienced this miracle of adoption. A year later, our dossier was headed back to China in hopes of adding a second child to our family.

Over the next two years, the wait for a referral from China increased dramatically. A yearlong military deployment and two household moves kept us from changing our course. We took a wait and see attitude while continuing to explore other adoption programs that we could pursue concurrently or in place of China. In doing so, we found our hearts opening to many different children.

Although we’d written it off for many years, we finally began investigating China’s Waiting Child (WC) program. We still had reservations when we submitted our application after two years on the non-special needs list. I don’t have a nursing bone in my body and faint at the sight of blood, so I figured there was no way I could adequately care for a special needs child. For me personally, I had to have very clear reasons for choosing to adopt a child with special needs.

When we switched to the WC program (June 2008), we were concerned that it would be impossible to discern who our child should be. When we adopted our first daughter, China had done the matching. We felt this was a very “divine” way to choose a child since it was out of our hands and therefore entirely in God’s hands. The WC program required us to choose a child. We didn’t want our fears and anxieties to influence this lifelong decision. Thankfully, we have a sovereign God that brought our child to us at just the right time despite our concerns.

A month later, in the quiet of the early morning, the call came from our agency. Side by side, my husband and I reviewed the file of an 8-month-old baby girl named Mei Ying waiting in foster care in Jiangxi province. Her special need was listed as unilateral microtia / aural atresia with a possible diagnosis of Hepatitis B. Put simply, she has a “tiny ear” on the right side and lacks an external ear canal opening.

We had first learned about microtia while filling out our agency’s special needs application. Further research online made us confident this was a condition we could readily accept.

Microtia is an incompletely formed ear. The term “micro” means small and “otia” means ear. Hence, when translated literally, “microtia” means small ear. At times a bump of tissue is present in the location where an ear would normally be found. In other cases, the lobule, the lower part of the ear, and the concha, the hollow part of the ear, may be partially formed and the entire upper part of the ear is missing. Although microtia can involve one ear or both ears, 80% of the time only one is affected. (source)

Aural atresia is a birth defect in which there is an absence or incomplete formation of an external ear canal. Both the external and middle ear may be malformed, but the inner ear and auditory nerve are often normal. It can occur in one or both ears. A malformed outer ear is the most common indicator of aural atresia. All atretic ears have abnormal middle-ear anatomy to a greater or lesser degree. (source)

We accepted her file and three months later, we held our daughter Lydia Mei Ying for the first time!

In addition to the regular post-adoption checkups, we met with an audiologist. He looked at the ABR test results from China we had received with her referral. The way he described it to me in layman’s terms is that her hearing loss in her right ear is about equal to sticking your finger in your ear. Lydia will have a CT scan to show us the structure of her middle and inner ear. She’ll also have a full hearing test. But all of this is just informing us of how her ear developed (or didn’t). There is nothing we need to do or undo for a long time. We were especially glad to learn that she would not need surgery any time soon.

Microtia repair is a surgery that is considered cosmetic by insurance companies and also debated among doctors. Many times, parents choose to wait until the child can be part of the decision process for surgery. It’s easy to do an Internet search on microtia. There is also a Yahoo! group on the subject.

Lydia is in all respects a healthy baby girl. She tested negative for Hepatitis B! She also tested as being completely immune to the disease. Her “uncertain” diagnosis in China may have been caused by an infection at birth or by the vaccination given in China. Our research into Hepatitis B showed us that it’s a very manageable disease that does not put our family members or our community at risk. We would gladly adopt another child with confirmed or “uncertain” diagnosis of Hepatitis B.

At age 14 months, Lydia has learned to crawl and now walks across the room in that adorable baby Frankenstein way. The occupational and physical therapists are both impressed at how quickly she is catching up. She is very active and curious to the new world we’ve given her. Everyone agrees that in 3-6 months, she won’t have any developmental delays!

We may still have issues with speech development in the future, but for now, she is plenty vocal for her age. She has names for each family member and loves music. The audiologist assured me that she is not deaf and that she can “hear a truck coming.” I mentioned to him that she can also hear a bottle being shaken from across the room!

Lydia’s intense desire to bond and grow amazes me. When I look at our child, I don’t see a deformity. I see our daughter who has a forever family and a future! More importantly, God sees an intricate part of His creation that He made. (Psalm 139:13-15; Exodus 4:11)

If you are considering adoption of a special needs child, remember that it is not their diagnosis that defines them. It is God who made them and their special need is no secret to Him.

Lydia has only been home for three months and we have no guarantee of what lies ahead for her. Even our oldest daughter, adopted from China’s regular track, could have medical needs arise in the future. Any adoption has risks just as pregnancy does. However, we proceed forward trusting in God’s strength to equip us as their parents.

We have taken a leap of faith with special needs, but now seeing the child God planned to be ours, I wonder if He only wanted a bunny hop from us. Yet, we had to be willing to jump all the way. Although I sometimes have worries, I can honestly say that I am so confident in the God who sustains me. Parenting and adoption are ways that we can glorify God because we know for certain there is no way we can do it on our own strength. We were invited to experience the adoption road with all its potholes and unexpected turns. It was on this road we discovered God’s heart for adoption.

Learn more about our adoption road at our website.

Karleigh Mei

2009-02-07T04:03:00.000-08:00

by Jenn, mom to Karleigh Mei from China with vision issues

Everyone asks us when we made the decision to adopt. It was a seed that was planted in both Karl and I many years ago. I believe, for myself, it was planted when I was a child. I’ve always wanted to adopt a child. It’s always just been there…that thought, that dream, that longing. I had expressed my feelings to some of my friends and family members, only to realize that not everyone had this. Could the Lord be calling me to adopt? If this is not a longing for everyone, what was this?? After years of this longing growing…and in the meantime raising our four biological children (20, 14, 12 and 10 at the time), the Lord finally told us it was time. We both just knew that this was something we wanted and needed to do.

We began our “paperchase” in March of 2007. While I was gathering up all of our documents, my then 14 yr. old daughter stumbled across some blogs of families that had adopted. I loved reading the stories and looking at the pictures of all the beautiful children. And in some cases, I was able to watch unfold a child become the part of a forever family. My daughter then told me that many of the children in these blogs were “special needs” adoptions. What??? Special needs?? As I read further in the blogs I discovered that some of these children were born with heart defects, webbed fingers and toes, hearing loss, cleft lips/palates, etc. I found myself saying, “If these were children of my own, I would love them just the same and do whatever it took for them. These children are every bit as worthy as any other child…as my own children.” My daughter was the one who really encouraged us to take a look at the special needs/waiting children. I almost felt like by NOT filling out the special needs application that I was closing the door on the potential child that the Lord had planned for us. So we filled out the special needs application with our agency in October of 2007 and decided to wait and see what the Lord had planned.

On July 10, 2008 we received a call from our agency saying that there was a little girl on the shared list that we might be interested in. She was 32 months old and was blind in her right eye. We agreed to take a look at her file. When I opened up the email with her picture I saw a precious little girl with the cutest little lips!! I should have been overjoyed, but fear gripped me. What a huge decision we had to make and because she was on the shared list, we had to act quickly if we were interested in her. What was I afraid of?? For one, I had never seen a child with her condition. Her diagnosis was very vague. She had something on her eye and she was missing part of her upper eye-lid. We could also tell from her picture that she possibly had a cleft in her nose. I was also very fearful of her age. At this point I had read so many books on adopting and attaching, that I was so afraid of attachment/bonding issues. All of the “what if’s” scared me. But, my husband had no doubt that this little one was ours. After time, I realized that no matter WHAT child we had been referred, the “what if’s” would have plagued me. There is ALWAYS something to be fearful of! We sent our Letter Of Intent the very next day.

Fast forward to December 8, 2008, the day that Shi, Qian was placed in our arms!! All of my fears completely dissolved!! Sure, we had and still have some bumpy roads to get over, but this little girl is such a blessing to us and our family. After we got her home we took her to see a pediatric ophthalmologist and she has been diagnosed as having “abortive cryptophthalmos”. Basically, this big word means that her right eye-lid did not form correctly and part of her eye-lid is fused to her eye. Her “special need” is almost non-existent to us though. Being blind in one eye has not slowed this girl down one bit!! I’m amazed that she can’t see in that eye…we forget all the time that she can’t see out of it. We have her eye-lid surgery scheduled for the middle of March 2009. And we have an appointment to see a cranial/facial doctor just to make sure that there are not any hidden issues. And her age?? Oh my goodness, what a perfectly beautiful and fun age she is!! I simply cannot imagine another age! And did I mention she was completely potty trained!! YES!!! No bottles, no diapers, and a beautiful perfect child for our family!

Karleigh Mei Qian is our beautiful daughter, adopted from China. She is filling our lives with sooo much joy! We love her so very much and we cannot wait to see how the rest of her life will unfold! We feel incredibly honored and blessed to have THIS child as our very own.

If you are interested in following us along on the rest of our journey, you can find us here.